Not being able to sleep because I'm too happy is completely different from not being able to sleep because of a bitter sorrow. Before I thought that if I won't fall asleep in this very moment, it will be the end for me. I used to be so desperate to sleep that sometimes I had tears in my eyes. Now I think I can go on without sleeping for weeks. Almost as if it is absolutely meaningless.

All I can see when I close my eyes is his face. His sincere smile, his shining eyes, messy hair, bunny teeth… And it makes me so happy, that I just can't stop thinking about him. I'm trying to keep my feelings under control, but I can't. And to tell the truth, from the bottom of my heart, I don't want to. My phone beeped.

“He's not helping me.”

“I can't stop thinking about you. (^_^) ” God help me! I got goosebumps for a moment.

“It's 3 am.”

“I know.”

“Go to sleep! :-)” It's kinda stupid of me to tell him to do something, I'm not able to do myself. But right now, it helps me to feel better.

“Then why aren't you sleeping? (ʘ_ʘ)”

“I can't stop thinking about you. (^_^)” After this message, his answer came later than before. I believe it's because it makes him as happy as me.

“But it's 3 am. Do you like me so much? :-D ”

“No… Ahreum is just snoring too much.”

“You liar!”

“She really is.”

“Whatever. You already told me. But we will see each other tomorrow, right?” How I wish I could spend a whole day with him.

“I am working tomorrow.”

“You have a part time job?” I almost forgot I never told him about it.

“Yes. In a restaurant. But we can see each other the day after tomorrow. I promise.”

“I don't know if I'm satisfied with your answer.”

“I will make it up for you.”

“But you will have to try.”

“Okay. Okay. Goodnight, Jungkook.”

“Goodnight, Yerim.”

What we see in front of us is a simple a picture of what we have in our head. Otherwise I can't find an explanation for all of this. Why the world looks completely different when I'm happy? Why the grass is greener, people nicer, and time passes differently?

-----

I walked into the restaurant and greeted a few colleagues that were having a smoke break. It was our cook, one of the waitresses and manager's girlfriend.

“Yerim… It's been a while. I already thought you want to quit too.”

“I was busy. But, who wants to quit?”

“He hasn't told you yet?”

“Who should have told me?”

“Brian.”

“What? Why?” I asked surprised.

“You can ask him. He just went to take the boxes from the storage.” I made one confused expression and went to changing room. I tried to understand this situation, but no matter what, I always ended up with the same conclusion. What if he wants to quit because of me? Well, he already told me he likes this job. Even more because it's well paid and as an amateur musician, he needs money like a dose of salt. Or am I too selfish, thinking that I am that important to him?

I saw him coming out of the storage through a small window in the changing room so I put my black t-shirt on, took the apron and abruptly opened the door.

“Yonghyun!” He was already opening the door to kitchen. Looking more than surprised.

“Hmm? Younghyun?!” he started laughing and had to put the boxes on the floor. “If I knew all it takes for you to stop calling me Brian is to tell the manager I'm going to quit, I would do it sooner.”

“I'm sorry…” I shyly looked to the ground. Actually, calling him Brian was only a form of teasing. He started working here even before me, but they all called him like that when I came here. I don't know how they found out his Canadian name, but I joined the trend and he obviously didn't like that.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Why are you quitting?”

“Ehmm.” He smiled archly. “I need to focus on music. We are getting more and more popular. It's time to give it my everything.” Yeah… How could I even think that he would do it because of me. It was really stupid. “But I would lie, if I said it was only because of it.”

“What?”

“I can't work with Eunah after all that happened… And to be honest, I can't work with you too. Don't take me wrong… I wish you the best. But that last concert was the hardest I've ever played on.”

“Oh… You mean… Jungkook.”

“I know that guy. You must already know he is brother of our bandmate. I met him a lot of times. He is a good fellow. Maybe too good. But you should be still careful. It's not that long he had a serious relationship.” I don't even know why I froze on spot. It's not like he just told me Jungkook is a serial killer. But it still hurts a bit. The fact, that Jungkook nev