The music silently played in the background. The mixture of voices were overlapping it. And one of them, one, that I could definitely distinguish belonged to him. He was talking to the waitress. I heard her trying to flirt with him. Okay… Maybe it wasn't that obvious to him, but it was definitely obvious to me. And I didn't even have to look at them. After a while he came back with our order.

“Sorry it took too long.” he said and sat in front of me. I reached for a bottle of soju and poured a drink for both of us.

“You know, I am not really a good drinker.” I said and put his glass in front of him. “One bottle is enough for me.”

“Do you really want to drink right now?” I knew that I will regret this decision tomorrow. I just knew it. When I drink in front of someone, it's like I'm giving him a password to all my secrets. After a few shots, I'm an open book. But it's okay… Because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to tell him any of it.

“Yes.” I said and we simultaneously drank it.

(30 minutes later)

“You know that is flirting with you the whole night, right?” It's not like I'm not aware of what I'm saying. But I can't stop it.

Jungkook is laughing. “You mean… the waitress?” I nodded. “Do you mind it?”

“Yeah. It's pissing me off since we came here.” I couldn't really detect his expression, but I knew he is smiling.

“Then why did you send me to hell when I asked you to date me?”

“That are two different things.”

“What? Being jealous of me and dating me?”

“Yes.”

“Doesn't being jealous mean, that you like that person?”

“Maybe. I think… Yes. I like you.” Jungkook stayed silent and hid his blushing face. After a moment he changed his position and spoke again.

“You know I like you too. What is the problem then?”

“You are a man.”

He jumped on his place and desperately caught his head. “Why are you still talking about men like they are a pandemic disease?”

“Because they are! In a way.” No… I am not crying. I am not crying. Stop. Kim Yerim! Stop. Jungkook stood up and sat next to me… He still left an appropriate distance between us. “I am disgusted by them. They do what they want and do not think about the consequences of their actions.”

“Why do you think something like that?”

“I was bullied at high school, Jungkook. It were the worst years of my life. Every time I remember it, all I see is dark and my own suffering. Me shouting to the dark helplessly.” I breathed out and realized the distance between us is almost gone.

“My mom used to play in adult movies. My classmates found out. You can imagine a group of high schoolers imagining, what it's like in real life. Thinking, if mother can do it for money, why not her daughter too?” The tears were now running down my face and there was no turning back.

“Verbal harassment was not enough. They had an opportunity and decided to use it. Our school trip to the mountains. I couldn't sleep and wanted to go for a walk. It was in the middle of the night. You wouldn't expect they would have waited for so long. But they did. Two of them.”

“Yerim, you don't have to...”

“I screamed as loud as I could. But it looked like they enjoyed it. They enjoyed my suffering and humiliation. I won't tell you in which moment our homeroom teacher came to the scene, because the important thing is, that he came. He heard something and found us. And luckily, they didn't get what they really wanted.”

Jungkook sat really close to me, but didn't touch me. Like he knew I would shove him away.

“I