Sometimes what we really want is not what we really feel…It may be something which covers our true necessity over what we really want to have… So far for my twenty years old life, I wanted to be alone and live a peaceful life without any disturbance from others. My world was my dad and my studies only. Apart from that I didn’t want anything…. That’s how I felt so far and I wanted believe that I was happy thinking that I was living the life what I really wanted as I felt….

But…………

Today, my deliberations about what I really want have shaken a little… When he spread the hand of friendship, that time, the happiness I felt was so strange to me…. If I have ever wanted to have a lonely life, then why did I really want to become friends with him? Hence………I conclude that what I really want is not what I have really felt so far and it was something which covered my anxiety about the real necessity without letting me to hurt my heart for not having them…. May be, it would be like something the peels of an onion…. Have I started to peel the onion after twenty years of life…? Then do I need to understand that peeling onion is related for sure shedding tears as well….?

I prepared instant noodles for me remembering my dad would not come home tonight. I was so lazy for cooking and truly I didn’t have an interest for cooking experiments though I love to eat various things… My poor dad! So far he was my favorite cook… May be I only know how to make a two minute noodles packet… What a shame!!!

Swallowing my noodles while watching the TV a bit, I was feeling sleepy in the couch. Knowing tomorrow is the weekend; I have stayed bit longer night today.

‘Already eleven o’clock?’

Just thinking of washing the dishes tomorrow I climbed up the stairs sleepy and entered to my room. Lying in the bed with my pijamas my eyes tend towards the ceiling. The open window was letting the cool night breeze to catch me… Refreshing!

Even though I walked to bed with the thought of sleeping my memories were running through the incidents happened throughout the day one by one. More than anything, the stranger who appeared and rescued me was so mysterious to me.

My hand rolled down to my stomach unknowingly. I recalled how much of a pain I was when I got down from the bus today.

I knelt down in the mid of the bed and looked through the mirror in front of me. Lowering my pijama trouser a bit, I stared at my birthmark while letting my baby finger to touch it. My finger was moving softly on my mark and it was the moment I started feeling the same sensation bit by bit throughout my body just like I felt it at the crossing in the morning.

My eyes threw towards the mirror to my reflection there. I just noticed my own half closed eyes through it. The feeling I was sensing was something new to me but it was something which attracted my attention at the moment. My mind recalled the angelic eyes at the next second… Curiously I wanted to see him again.

‘When can I see you again?’

I thought to myself while feeling the sensation through my body.

‘Boom!!!!’

The window of my room got closed and again opened speedily shattering my thoughts and my eyes caught something moving next to it suddenly. I got down from the bed and walked towards the window with a shivering heart. Even though I was scared with the illusion I just saw I wanted to check it badly if not I knew that I would scared to death thinking about it there in after.

Wind was bit strong and the sky was dark and blank. Leaning to the window frame I threw my glance towards here and there and then towards the ground. Though it was cutting dark, my eyes were able to capture an image who was standing and staring at me in my garden under the light of garden bulb.

‘Holy God!!!!!!!’

I bent bit more towards the outside of the window. My eyes recognized his image. For a moment, I lost somewhere where only I wanted to meet him and talked to him. That was the only thing I wanted at that moment.

I ran………I ran hurriedly……..I even didn’t know I could run with that speed….I couldn’t remember whether I flew or climbed down in stairs… I may have forgotten that it was closer to mid night….I may have forgotten that I am girl and it’s dangerous to go out at this time, specially meet a stranger man… More than anything, I may have forgotten that I was in my night pijamas and alone at home….

Opening the door I jumped to the garden where my eyes caught him for the third time today. He turned towards me when I stepped out from the door.

“Excuse me” I murmured while looking at his angelic eyes.

“Are you alright?” I heard his male voice like in a dream.

The small, small rain drops were pouring and we were getting wet bit by bit. I knew it was not good, I knew it was totally bad, but he was my rescuer and I was stupid enough to invite him to house.

“It’s Ok Jina. I love rain” making me the utmost curious and surprised, he called my name. Now, I never let him leave like this…I am someone who can die with the curious if I get any…

“Please come in. Let’s have a coffee”

I said signaling from my hand to come in to the house. With a shivering mind, I closed the door. In someone’s point of view this would be the most foolish and dangerous thing one could ever do when no one at home and especially in a mid night. He came in and sat in our small dining table. Pouring some coffee to him I sat in front of him.

“I have few things to ask. Can I?” I said looking at him. He nodded his head. His total black outfit was catching my attention more than I expected. He has changed his hair style and it was different from the morning but handsome.

“Was it you who helped me at the bus?” I threw a gaze at him.

“Why don’t you ask all the questions at once and then I will answer” I felt strange. Even his attitude was different.

“Alright…Was it you who helped me and was it you who kept me on my bed when I was sick and fainted? How do you know my name and my residence? And at this time, what are you doing here? And, what is your name?”

I noticed that he was just glancing at me. His glare was gentle and he was staring at me whom I knew from long, long ago. Even though we were strangers, I was not able to feel that feel even for a second.

‘Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!’

I heard the opening sound of the garden gate before he answered. I jumped up from the chair at once and ran towards the main door while he was surprisingly looking at me. Through the door hole I could recognize that it was my dad…

‘Oh No!!!’

If ever dad would get to know that I was with a stranger in our house especially at this time, I was not able to even imagine what would be his reaction. He would kill him first and then kill me secondly….I ran towards my guest at once and caught his hand. It was so cold……….. May be, because he has drenched bit in the rain.

“Come with me… Hurry up” I dragged his arm with me and ran towards the upstairs. I had no idea what I was doing but I couldn’t be caught… Never…

Dragging him to my room, I closed the door and locked it. I never lock my door before even I was grown up…I just reminded it…. I hurriedly unlocked it thinking dad would find strange if he comes here… With strange expressions he was staring at me.

“Jina!” He was next to me, just like me leaning to the door behind it.

“Shhhh!!!” I kept my finger in my own lips signaling him to be in silence.

I was able to hear the foot print