Ever since I was born I was just not a common girl but believe me I wasn’t and I am not an abnormal girl as well….Or was it that I wanted to be named…? I could still recall my memory how my beloved father used to say to me how was it my first moment of seeing the lights of this world when my mom gave the birth to me.

‘Jina! You were a really angelic baby girl who was with a scary birthmark’

When my mom passed away just after giving the life to me, my dad was only my savior and my hero. Until I grew up to elementary school, he used to check my birthmark once a week. I could still remember the scary look of his face at every time he looked at it. I always thought that he knew something more than me but I was not that much curious to dig… It may be I was just a small kid who loved play just like others but not to investigate…

‘Jina! You should never take off your clothes in front of anyone. And, you must wear full clothes without revealing your belly and your neck ever’

His words were still repeating in my ears though I am a college student right now. From the day I got used to those instructions of my beloved father, without a second thought I used to follow them because I was scared to look at his scary face when he checked my birthmark every time when I was a little kid.

“Jina!!!!!!!!! You are getting late honey” I heard his gentle voice.

“I am coming dad”

I ran towards the down floor knowing my beloved dad was waiting for me to have the breakfast with him. Just before I sat opposite to him, I noticed the depressed look in his old eyes which were tend towards me.

“Dad! What’s wrong?” I asked taking the bottle of jam with a slice of bread in my hand.

“Jina! Don’t you have any clothes to wear? Are you out of your pocket money? Should I buy you some tops and jeans?”

I was not surprised, instead of that I threw a smile at him winking my playful eye to him and continue to have my breakfast. I knew my clothes were so old fashioned. My trouser was not even a pair of jean or denim, it was just bage colour cotton hanging old trouser and my T shirt was a brown colour baggy long one which was hanging down to my thighs.

“Dad! This is good enough for me. You know, I am not interested in fashion” I said while eating the second slice of bread in my plate... I loved strawberry jam so much. How much I eat it I never get tired of it…

“Jina! This is not the way twenty years old, college girl should wear” I heard he was mumbling but I continued to eat my jam chopped slices of bread eagerly.

“Dad! I think I am getting late. I need to go” pressing the last piece of bread in to my mouth hurriedly with a quick smile, I leaned forward him and kissed his old cheek with a smile. I heard he sighed then.

“Bye Dad! See you at night” I said while running towards the door thinking that he would return home tonight after his work.

“Jina!” I stopped at the door step.

“Today is my night shift honey” he said with a blank face.

“Oh! I forgot it. Ok then…See you tomorrow Dad!”

I flew away from house at the next minute and ran towards the bus stop. If I miss this bus, then I would be punishing for late arrival at the college again. I was not a clumsy college student but because of my lack of punctuality I caught for punishments mostly

‘Ugggggghhhhhhh!!!’

A sudden circular pain in my navel! ‘What is this?’ I thought faintly waiting for the next bus to catch. Lightly I touched my stomach and my fingers touched my birthmark unknowingly. A tune of light sensation just felt through my body.

‘What is happening?’

I asked from myself wondering in my thoughts. This was not the first time I experienced that kind of un-comfort. For last few days, time to time I was sensing something in my lower abdomen which was like a little pain but when I touched the area from my fingers I sensed the same tune of circular sensation through my body. When seconds were passing, it was gone…

‘What the hell was happening in me?’

Finding the last corner seat of the bus was my first goal of everyday. I used to lose my hair always but it was not for girly fashion because I had things to hide from others. The baggy clothes I wore which my dad was often depressed about were in fact not my fault… it was because I have born like that…. In my body, I had secrets…The secrets which myself and only my dad knew from my birth…Instead of tend to fashions, I used to protect my body without letting others to see them for not labeling as ‘abnormal’ or ‘weird’ ever...

I often think about myself lonely. Am I really an unusual or strange creature? Mostly the love interest which every girl feels at our age was not in my buckle list ever. Or is it because no any boys have made interest over me? No……..That can’t be… I am not an ugly girl after all… I am beautiful in my own way, I believe it… But thinking of those I am not sure what it was…

Shame to say even though I am twenty old years college student, I didn’t have a permanent friend so far. When I change the classes by period to period, the next person of me became my friend for the particular class…But actually it was not the friendship but taking the advantages from me, because I was one of best student in my every class. People wanted to get along with me when they need to concentrate over studies or borrowing my notes, other than there were no one for me in the entire school.

I cannot deny, sometimes I felt the loneliness so badly which I couldn’t identify exactly what it was and that was the time I used to get afraid of myself severely because my fingers used to run through my birthmark without considering wherever I was and that was one of a reason I used to occupy myself reading books and studying all the time. Like other girls, I was not used to go out with guys at my age but just living alone in my roo