“The view is amazing,” Junmyeon said. He raised a hand to touch the glass panel, tracing it with his fingers.

“Yeah, it is.”

Junmyeon could only stare with fascination at the skyline below them. In the distance, the sun shone amid the November hazy sky, yet Canton Tower truly had a fantastic view. He could see everything: the miscellaneous buildings and the one he was certain was his apartment complex, the tiny cars moving here and there, and the glistening Pearl River. From the above, it was easy to see how the river ramified and divided the city into different parts. Though, Junmyeon still preferred seeing it flow from the railings than from above.

He was too absorbed in the skyline; he didn’t realize that when he aimlessly dragged his hand across the glass surface, it would collide with Yixing’s hand. Junmyeon drew closer as he grabbed Yixing’s hand. He turned his head to the right to see Yixing just as Yixing followed suit to meet his gaze.

Just like the times before, the quick pound in his chest made its presence. Junmyeon wanted to kiss Yixing, give him the perfect third-time-first-kiss. He was nervous, though. He couldn’t remember what it was to kiss someone, what it felt like to caress someone’s lips. What if he was terrible at it? Could that be the reason why Yixing hadn’t initiated the first move?

No, it couldn’t be it.

They were together now, boyfriends actually. They had been on four or five dates now, but that didn’t count the times Junmyeon went to visit Yixing at the restaurant. Yet the only displays of affections so far had been kisses on the cheeks, hugs, and holding hands. A kiss was bound to happen at some point. Junmyeon had wanted it to happen, and there had been moments like this in which the kiss would have occurred. But neither had taken the first step. Junmyeon due to his nervousness and idea for it to be perfect. He also thought Yixing would be the one to kiss him first since he loved him. However, Yixing hadn’t and Junmyeon guessed was because Yixing cautiously wanted to protect his heart. And that was a valid choice, getting heartbroken thrice by the same person wasn’t exactly what somebody wished for. He guessed Yixing wanted him to be the one to do it. And even if Junmyeon wasn’t there yet and couldn’t confidently say he loved Yixing, he knew he was in love with Yixing, and he wanted them to kiss.

Maybe right now was the moment for it as their eyes stared at one another rather than Guangzhou’s skyline. They were also alone in this part of the tower. Confidence, Junmyeon tried to gather the most confidence to do it, no matter if it turned out to be a disaster. And he would have done it if it weren’t for the phone that rang in his pocket. Like that, the moment ended, and Junmyeon walked away to answer. It was Jongdae, telling him that their meeting in the morning had been pushed over an hour later.

When he hung up the phone, he caught Yixing staring outside again. Junmyeon grabbed the Polaroid camera that hung around his neck and took a picture of Yixing. Had they been on the rooftop then the picture would have been more perfect, more detailed, but even the one he took now, with Yixing’s back facing him, the many glass panels separated by diagonal iron bars and the faint skyline, was seamless.

Junmyeon had taken a liking for taken pictures recently. Using an instant camera was efficient and quick because then he could directly glue the results in his journals. He wanted to capture every special moment, be it in words or images. A book of memories, his book of new memories, that was what he wanted to create with the journals and pictures. But Junmyeon also had three framed photographs that hung on the walls back at the apartment. Yixing hadn’t mind taken part of his new hobby. In all three photos, he had been with Yixing. One in which he had gone to eat at Yixing’s restaurant for the second time and Yixing had eaten with him. The second picture was taken at a picnic in Yuexiu Park, where Junmyeon had cooked all the food. He had blushed when Yixing said everything tasted good. And the last photo was from when Yixing played a piano piece for him, and sparse sunbeams lightened his frame. Why had he decided to hang on the walls those pictures? Junmyeon didn’t know. Maybe because it was during moments like those, he felt that he wanted to always be by Yixing’s side.

“Do I take one of you too, Jun?”

Carefully, he put the Polaroid shot in his coat pocket. Junmyeon strode to stand next to Yixing. “I think I prefer one of us.” He smiled. They turned around, so the skyline was behind them. Junmyeon raised the instant camera, pointing its lenses in their direction, and counted to three. They were both smiling in the photograph as the afternoon sky turned into dusk.

“Should I take you back home?”

Junmyeon nodded. He might have missed the chance to a perfect kiss, but today’s experience had still been rewarding.

The drive back home was tranquil, a little slow due to the Sunday evening traffic. Sometimes they spoke, other times they were quiet but not in awkward silence, more like a comforting one in which they just enjoyed the company. And then Yixing asked one question. A difficult question.

“When do you plan to drive again, Jun?”

Junmyeon gulped. “Why? Are you tired of driving us around? You know, I don’t mind paying for a taxi, or-”

“No, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. I’m just worried you’re not getting proper sleep. I know it takes you a long time to go to work now, you have to take the subway and a bus. You also live further from the restaurant. It worries me.”

Those words formed a smile on Junmyeon’s lips. Yixing truly cared about him, he cared and worried for him. He felt elated, lucky, but at the same time a little anxious. It was true it took a long time to go to work now, and driving would facilitate things for him. His car had been ready for some weeks. And he did remember how to drive, but Junmyeon was still unsure. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. My car is in the garage, the contusion in my brain has healed fine, and the doctor said I was fit to drive again, but…”

“What?”

“Somehow when I sit in the car I get this feeling like, like the accident was my fault... And I’m afraid to cause another one, and well, face the aftermath.”

Yixing laughed a little. “That’s not possible, Jun. The police said the other driver had fallen asleep. How could it be your fault?”

“That might be true. But… If you saw someone coming towards you now, in front of us, wouldn’t you even at least try to turn away? To the other side of the road?”

Yixing gasped a little. They reached a red light, and Yixing slowed down the vehicle. He turned to face Junmyeon and grabbed Junmyeon’s left hand. “Maybe you didn’t have somewhere to turn. Maybe it all just happened way too fast. You know, in cases like that, it’s almost impossible to react or think quickly. It’s not your fault.” He gave Junmyeon a reassuring smile and squeeze.

Junmyeon smiled back. “Yeah, maybe,” he said but wasn’t entirely convinced about it.

Sometime later, they arrived at Junmyeon’s apartment building. Junmyeon removed his seatbelt. He didn’t want to part ways yet; he enjoyed spending time with Yixing.

“Do you wanna eat dinner with me Yixing? I haven’t prepared it yet, but you could help me.” There was a rosy color on his cheeks.

“Depends on what you’re making.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon said a bit dejected, maybe Yixing wasn’t eager to spend the rest of the day with him as he was. After all, they had almost been together the whole afternoon. What could he say to make him stay?

Yixing chuckled. “I’m just kidding Jun. You could offer me a glass of water, and I’d still say yes. Go up, I’ll find a parking spot somewhere.”

He nodded and proceeded to go his way. What Junmyeon had in mind to cook was Kimchi stew. He enjoyed Chinese food, but when he cooked it, it didn’t have the same taste as when Yixing prepared it. Maybe it was Yixing’s food that he loved. Either way, Junmyeon preferred to use Korean cuisine when he was alone.

Once Junmyeon was inside his apartment, he started to take out and prepare the ingredients they would need. Just as he had finished arranging everything the doorbell rang. He walked over to the entrance, opened the door, and let Yixing step inside. They walked together to the kitchen.

“Oh! What have you done there?” Yixing asked and stopped to point at one large frame that hung in the living room. He walked closer, looking bewildered.

Yixing was talking about the compressed pepero boxes, with their borders stacked on top of each other in a frame. It had been an impulse Junmyeon had gotten yesterday. He had bought the frame that came with the picture of some black and white landscape. However, Junmyeon didn’t quite like it, it didn’t go well with his living room. Then, he thought of the empty boxes and their multicolored packages. That was the missing puzzle bit. So, he chose a couple of them, flattened them, and put them together on the frame. Now, he was a bit embarrassed, though, and Yixing would probably find his idea ridiculous.

“I-I thought it would give this place a nice touch… Now it kinda seems ridiculous.”

A dimple smiled appeared on Yixing’s face. “No! Not at all! I love it, it looks colorful, pretty, and unique.”

“Thanks,” Junmyeon said. He chuckled, Yixing joined him too.

“Did you buy them? I could have given you some, you know. I still have like two dozen left.”

Of course, he did. Junmyeon had only found out later that Yixing didn’t really eat candies. He shook his head. “No, those are the ones you gave me twelve years ago.”

Yixing’s eyes widened as he gasped a little. ‘Why is he shocked? Did I say something wrong?’ Junmyeon thought. He could see how Yixing’s eyes turn a bit glossier with every second the silence settled between them.

“Is something wrong, Yixing?” Junmyeon asked at last.

“You-you kept those?”

“Yeah, my old self did. I found them that day we cleaned this place, or in better words, the old dumpster.” Junmyeon was glad to say his apartment was habitable now, a home. And he tried his best to keep it clean, although sometimes he let it slip. But he would never let it become what it used to be.

The uneasiness Yixing had felt gradually dissipated. “I thought you, or well the you from three months ago, had thrown away everything… That maybe it didn’t mean anything for you.”

“Well, now you know it did. And actually, there are a lot of other things he, and I kept. I think everything from our previous relationship.”

Yixing sighed. “I don’t understand. Why would you do that when you… You had done everything to push me away.”

And now Junmyeon felt his great idea, maybe hadn’t been all so great. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned anything about the old Junmyeon’s mementos, Junmyeon had never found out why they were there in the first place. This was apparently opening old wounds and raising unanswered questions. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything… Or put this up. Now we’re both gonna wonder things that will never have an answer. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t say that… And you shouldn’t take it down. I’m both thrilled and confused about this. But mostly happy to know the Junmyeon from three months ago, and now even you, treasure these things. It means a lot to me too.” Yixing beamed.

Junmyeon smiled back.

The rest of the night went by as Junmyeon cooked for them. Yixing helped him, so they cut together the vegetables or the meat, but he was in charge of the rest. He liked that even if Yixing was a professional chef, Yixing didn’t pressure others to do his way or commented if someone was doing something wrong. They listened to some music as they did their tasks, alternating between rock, that Junmyeon liked, and English pop music, Yixing’s favorite.

The dining room and the kitchen were in the same place. So, Junmyeon had bought a table for two only, it was the fitting size, and it wasn’t like he had company to eat every day. Yixing set up the table, and Junmyeon placed the pot with the finished stew there. He and Yixing sat down and served themselves.

Junmyeon observed as Yixing took the first bit. There was something about watching Yixing eat he enjoyed. It was like no matter what food Yixing ate, he always looked forward to it.

“Jun, this tastes incredible.”

It was impossible not to smile and chuckle. It brought Junmyeon a warm, heady feeling, happiness. Junmyeon knew his food wasn’t anything special compared to Yixing’s. Even so, Yixing still complimented him wholeheartedly. Yixing did it the first time he had invited him over to eat, during their picnic, and even now. Junmyeon figured Yixing must have always shown his appreciation countless times before when they were together. And suddenly there was something he had to do.

Junmyeon stood up, Yixing stared at him puzzled.

“What are-”

Yixing didn’t get to finish his sentence. Junmyeon had leaned across the table to hold the back of his hair and bring him forward, so he enveloped his lips in a kiss.

It was perfect, the way Junmyeon’s heart skipped one beat. The way it felt, his heartbeats and tickling sensations. The way their lips caressed each other. The way Yixing dropped his spoon on the table to bring Junmyeon closer to him. The way the air was slowly emptying in their lungs. Even the way it tasted, a bit familiar, like Yixing mixed with kimchi.

When the kiss ended Junmyeon opened his eyes but stayed closer to Yixing, no matter that the position was somewhat uncomfortable.

Opening his eyes and panting, Yixing said, “Finally.” He smiled the way an indentation appeared on each of his cheeks. “It feels like I’ve been waiting for you to do that since forever.”

Junmyeon smiled. “Sorry, but now I have all the time in the world to make it up to you,” he said before leaning in to kiss Yixing one more time.