Hyuna unnie’s or should I say Hyuna’s moan rings in my ear as she nuzzles on my chest. She’s beautiful, yes. She’s fun, yes. But I can’t connect with her to a deeper level. is just , it’s not making love. Until when does she want to have this kind of relationship? Both of us know that she’s the one hurting and I’m the one gaining – no ual frustration. Why is she doing this to herself?

“I like you, Jessica,” I grab her wrist and spin her body to face me. “You’re the one I-“ I stop when her palm reaches my cheek, the same cheek that Yuri hit.

“What kind of games are you playing, Taeyeon?” She hisses and yanks away from my hold. “One day you’re happy with Tiffany then a random girl brings you home and now you’re saying you like me? What the hell are you doing?”

“I like you, really,” I grab her wrist again before I push her to the wall and trap her body between my arms. She yelps as a respond. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” I lean closer. “Don’t you like me- at least a little bit?” I frown.

“I’ve never think of you in that way, Taeyeon,” she looks into my eyes. “You’re just a friend whom I grow to hate,”

“You’re lying,” I clench my jaw. “You don’t blush when your friend teases you, you don’t call them just because you’re lonely, you don’t-“

“Really, Taeyeon?” She quirks an eyebrow at me and scoffs. “Because I do that not only to you but to Tiffany and Yuri and many other people that I consider close enough. You’re delusional,” she pushes me harshly and glares at me. “Out of my way- oh- don’t let me see you ever again, I mean it,”

“Hey, you’re ok, Taeyeonnie?” Hyuna mumbles. “Your body is too tense,” she pecks my shoulder blade and her hand caresses my bare waist. “What are you thinking?”

“The usual,” I mumble back, eyes not looking into hers. “And also, why are you maintaining this relationship? You’re hurting, Hyuna. You know I will never like you,”

“I know,” she sighs. “Please stop remind me about that, Taeyeon,” she mutters sadly.

“Then why? Tell me. I’ve hurt my own best friend, my ex, the girl I like- love. I must’ve been in love with her considering that every ing hurtful words that she said, feels fresh in my mind. It’s been four months, Hyuna and I was drunk but that piece of memory can stuck in my head. Tell me why do you want to be with someone like me? I can't give you anything,” I clench my jaw and sit up. “Go home, I want this room for myself,” I sigh

“Because, at least I can still see your face, hear your voice and feel your touches,” she mutters before she takes her clothes and wears them. "Call-"

"I'm sorry," I mutter, my hands gripping on the bed sheet tightly. "I- I'll drive you home. Don't make yourself sound like a call girl, please?" I gaze at her and find her smiling.

"Stop thinking so lowly of yourself, Taeyeon," she cups my cheek. "I mean it when I said that," she pokes my nose and smiles wider. "Alright, wear your clothes and drive me home,"

¤¤¤

I sigh when I reach the basement floor after sending Hyuna off to her apartment's unit. A part of me wants to meet Jessica, even just to see her face is enough; while the othet part wishes that I just can forget about her entirely. But I know it's not possible for my wish to come true. If Yuri saw the correct girl last week, that would mean Jessica was already in a relationship with some guy. Guess she moved on quite fast from Dongwook. Sigh. What can I do?

I am about to start my car when I see a guy pinning a girl to the concrete pillar meters away from me. Her arms are above her head, his body is leaning dangerously close to her. Are they going to kiss? Is he going to her? I better go, it's none of my business anyway. My car drives passed them and I press on the break pedal; I have to safe her, she looks struggling. The wheels screech against the cement floor but still the guy is still on his own world. I pull him by the shirt and he stumbles back a few step. Maybe fate is playing with me because out of every other girl in this world, the girl has to be Jessica. Intoxicated Jessica.

"What the !" The guy glares at me and punches my cheek. "Don't play hero," he smirks before he grabs me by the collar and shoves me away. , why do I have to be so thin? Cement floor against my bones doesn't feel great at all.

"That's not how you treat a girl," I scoff and try to stand up. I should've joined Yuri in her Muay Thai classes or whatever self defense classes that she attends. "That girl is my friend, so kindly leave this place before I call the police for an attempt of ,"

"What?! You have lots of balls, girl," he smirks again. God, I want to wipe that smirk away from his face. "But I marked her so she's mine," he points at Jessica who passes out on the floor, body leaning to the pillar. "Look at that hickey, I made it especially for-"

Maybe it was adrenaline pumping when you're angry or maybe it's just all my pent up emotions but I marched to him and kicked his balls, hard. He rolls on the floor holding his organ and I rush to check Jessica. A hickey on her neck and another one on her collar bone. Why did she need to wear this low cut dress? Who is he? Is he the guy Yuri talked about?

"Are you her boyfriend?" I glance at him, still holding his organ. "Reply me fast before I kick your balls again," I threaten him and he shakes his head fast.

"I- I'm still co-courting her," he mumbles and I spit at him.

"I didn't know that nowadays you court someone by them in the parking lot- oh- you wanted to take advantage of her. This wasn't in your plan," I smirk and he looks at me in fear. "Don't contact her ever again or I'll make sure I'll find you and injure your balls until-"

"Y-yes, please don't kick me again," his hands cover his organ and it makes me think. Did I really kick him that hard? "I- I'll be leaving," I see him walking weirdly to his car and leave me with Jessica. I can't carry her to her apartment unit by myself; at least not when my body is still aching from the contact with the cement floor earlier. I crouch down and look at her face- her lips. How I want to just take it and not tell anyone about it. But that would be taking advantage of her and I wouldn't want to do that, at least not to her. My hand reaches out for her cheek and I caress it softly with my thumb.

I miss you so much, Jessica.

I park my car properly and call Yuri to help me. Just my luck, she's quite near to Jessica's apartment so she reached in no time. She piggybacks Jessica and I enter the passcode. I hope she hasn't changed the code- oh- she didn't. Yuri lies her down in her bed and I tuck her in.

"I got to go-"

"Can you tell her that you're the one who saved her, Yul? You guys are in good terms," I mutter and Yuri stops just when she is about to leave.

"Taeng," she sighs and places a hand on my shoulder. "Until when are you going to do this? Even Tiffany and her are already in speaking terms. Tiffany even asked about you, she worries that you're not doing well. Jessica- she- you know I'm closer to Tiffany,"

"She- she said that she doesn't want to see me ever again, Yul. The least I could do is to-"

"She was being emotional, Taeng. You have to understand that," she pulls me into a hug. "You saved her. Any normal person would feel glad that they didn't get ," she chuckles and pats my head. "And any normal person will be thankful to the one that rescued her,"

"Fine, fine," I sigh. "I'll just leave a letter, I don't think I can talk to her, Yul. She makes me too nervous," I pat her and she pushes me away.

"You ert," she squints her eyes at me and both of us laugh. How lucky I am to have Yuri as my best friend.

"Thanks, really,"

"Anytime- ah, I need to go to Fany's. I'll-"

"Are you going to tell her about this?"

"Yeah, I don't want us to have any kind of misunderstanding. Chill, Taeng, she moved on from you to me. I'm that good," she raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Ciao,"

I can only smile at her. It's great that Tiffany likes Yuri now but what about Jessica? Why is she with that kind of guy? Sigh. I sit on the side of her bed and caress her hair. I really miss you, Jessica. Sigh. Should I wipe off your make up? It's not good to for your skin to-

"Who are you?" She grips on my hand that caressed her face and stares at me. "You look like someone I used to know,"

Used to know?

"I- I'm-"

"Taeyeon?" she lets go of my hand.

"I'm- not, I just- just look similar to her," I fake a smile. Her habits come alive when she's drunk: she can't recognise people.

"Good, because I don't like her,"

And her honest words kill me from within. Do you hate me that much? I want to ask why but then again, am I prepared for every hurtful words that you would say? 

"I need to go," I stand up and straighten my wrinkled clothes. "Take- take care,"

"Thanks," she mutters before she closes her eyes. I guess your judgement for people and things become too cloudy when you're drunk. Doesn't it occur to you how a stranger can enter your place? You make me worry for your safety, Jessica. But then again, you'd prefer anyone to be by your side if the person is not me. All my hopes that can lead us to how we used to talk, what we used to do and where we used to be should be gone. Why am I hoping for something that is no longer possible? All of those hopes are plain stupid.

Maybe I should've pretended that you were not the girl I love and maybe we could patch things up easier, much easier. If I told you that Hyuna or other girl was the one I liked, what would you do? Would you slap me like you did? Would you hate me as much as you hate me now? I feel like our relationship is like a broken glass.

I've always wondered how do people fix it.

They can't.

If a glass can't be fixed, then how am I supposed to fix a broken relationship?

Even if I can fix the glass, it will be different; it won't be the same like it used to be.

A/N what do you guys think about this chap? Do tell me :)

special thanks to CoolTY18, Janet0309, tfyiska who voted this and also all the supports from the subscribers and the comments!