"Jessica?" I lock my gaze on her and she does the same. I bite off the piece of bread and hold it properly with my hand. "Yo-you are here, why?" I munch on the bread slowly and awkwardly. What makes it worse is the fact that she doesn't reply at all but she continues to stare at me. "Wh-why?" I frown when I notice her eyes start to get teary. Is it because she feels guilty? "If it's about the incident with that Donghae guy, it's fine. You don't need to be sorry," I give her a small smile. "I- uhh- I'm late for class so I uhh- talk to you later," I say and my hand is about to tap her shoulder but I stop in mid-air. I wave at her instead and walk away. Why are you here? How can you say that I'm being delusional when you just appear out of nowhere and give me all these false hopes? Maybe the one who's playing games is you, Jessica. What are you trying to do?

I end up being thirty minutes late when I reach University so I decide to just go back inside my car. What's the point of going to a class when you're still going to be marked as absent and your mind is somewhere else, sigh. I still can't go over the fact that Jessica came to my apartment unit this morning. What was she trying to do? I let out a long exhale and I check my phone that vibrated a while ago.

Taeng, let's have lunch after your class! At the usual place

I toss my phone to the passenger’s side and start the engine. It's a rare event to have Yuri asking me to have lunch together so I'm actually a bit excited. A bit. Does she have something to say? She would only want to meet me if she has something going on. I hope she's ok. She sounds perfectly fine though.

When I reach the restaurant, Yuri is still not here yet so she tells me to order a table for three. I wonder who the other one person is. It won't be Jessica or Tiffan- . What is she doing here? I gulp the lump on my throat and face my body towards the opposite direction. What am I supposed to say to her?

"Taeyeon?" I hear her voice ringing in my ear and I turn my body to face her. "What the hell were you doing?" She smiles and her eyes shape like crescent. "Were you trying to hide?"

"Tiffany," I trail off. "I uhh- I just- I wasn't-"

"She's with me," she smiles at the waiter and casually drags me inside. I sit opposite of her and I fidget on my seat. I wasn't prepared for this at all. What was Yuri thinking? "I miss you, you know,"

"Y-yes?" I widen my eyes and look at her.

"I miss you," she repeats and locks her gaze with mine. "I just miss talking to you,"

"Me too," I sigh and divert my gaze from her. "I'm sorry for what I did months ago, I didn't realise I was drifting away from you to Jessica. I'm sorry,"

"It's fine," she smiles. "I'm glad we broke up actually," she chuckles and I smile at her. "Yuri is a great company. Are you happy?"

"I'm happy for both of you but for myself, how am I supposed to be happy when Jessica is-"

"God, I'm sorry, that was a stupid-"

"It's fine, Fany-ah," I look up to her again. "Anyway, should we order first? It takes quite some time for them to serve. I'll ask Yuri what she-"

"Wait, she's calling," Tiffany picks up her phone and I flip through the menu. I guess I'll just order the same thing again, sigh. I close the menu book and stare at her. She's happy. Yuri makes her happy. I smile and look away. "She said that she wanted us to talk so she won't be coming here,"

"Eyy that girl," I scowl.

"She's scared that you won't come if you know that I'd be here," she chuckles before she calls the waiter. After we finish ordering our food, she continues, "How have you been?"

"I'm ok, I guess?" I look at her. "I drank,"

"You drink?" She quirks a single eyebrow and I nod. "Since when?"

"Since Jessica messes up my life," I bitterly chuckle. "Your friend is something, you know- oh, are you and Jessica-"

"We're good, I guess. I heard from Yuri that you saved her from Donghae," she says and I just nod again. "I haven't seen her for a week and she has become less and less talkative, I don't know why," she frowns. "She doesn't tell me anything about you- I think she just doesn't want to open up past scars. I assured her that I've moved on but she just doesn't trust me, she-"

"If I didn't like her then your friendship won't be like this, I'm sor-"

"Taeyeon, that was in the past. I'm ok and about Jessica, we'll patch things up. I just wonder how she's doing because even if she's out with Donghae, she didn't seem that happy. She used to brag about her dates with Dongwook but with Donghae, everything seemed too plain. I feel like she's going out with him just so that she had a company, you know? I'm just- I don't-" she lets out a long exhale. "I told her many times that she shouldn't feel guilty or anything because I've found my new happiness so I assume that it has nothing to do with me anymore. That one time we went out for a drink and she kept on mumbling 'I miss you' and she cried in her sleep. It hurt me to see her in that state," she sighs. I contemplate for a few minutes before I tell Tiffany everything that has happened between her best friend and I. She looks at me coldly before she says, "Why are you treating my friend like she's some trash? You can't just leave her like that after she drove to your house, Taeyeon,"

"Hey, I'm hurt too, ok? She trusted that Donghae more than me and she clearly said that I kept on ruining her relationship with other people. But what hurt me most was when she yelled at me saying that she hated me. I just- it just-" I clench my jaw and look away from Tiffany. I open my mouth but close it back and let out a long exhale.

"Oh, Taeyeon," she frowns and her hand reaches out for mine before she caresses it. "I know that what she said hurt you but can you please talk to her? You guys were close friends, Taeyeon, You know how lazy she is but she made time to go to your house,"

"I just- I don't-"

"Please talk to her?" Tiffany says softly and I keep mum. "I think the person she misses is you, Taeyeon. She clearly has moved on from Dongwook and she won't miss me or Yuri when she knew that we were the ones beside her, drinking together. If you worry that the person is Donghae, rest assured, they were still in good terms; the incident had not occurred yet. I think she misses you, Taeyeon, so please talk to her?"

"What if I'm not the one she misses?" I lock my gaze at her

"Then you can blame me for forcing you to talk to her, you can hate me all you-"

"You know I can never hate you, Fany," I sigh. "I'll- I'll go to her house, I promise" I mutter and she smiles. There's no point in arguing with her when I know she would win it. After the lunch, I drive slowly to Jessica's apartment. What am I supposed to say to her? Should I apologise as soon as I see her? Should I ask her what is with her and all her actions that keeps on making me delusional? I let out a long exhale when I park my car. How come no matter how slow I was, it felt like the drive only took me several minutes? Let's do this, Taeyeon. You guys were close friends. I lock my car and walk to the elevator. When the lift starts to ascend, my heart starts to beat erratically and I bite my lips. I can do this. I walk slowly to her door and give it a good stare. Maybe I should've text her first that I'd be coming? What if she's not inside? Ah- if she's not here then we're just not meant to fix this mess. I press on her buzzer and wait for a few seconds before she opens it. She looks at me with shock and I give her a small smile.

"Hi, Jessica," I mutter softly. Act normal Taeyeon, if you're awkward, she'll get awkward too!

"Taeyeon," she replies with her body still blocking the entrance to her unit. "You're here,"

"Yeah," I trail off and I scratch my not itchy nape. "You wanted to talk and I was rude to just walk away so I'm here," I smile again and silence surrounds us.

"Co-come in," she says as she opens her door wider and lets me in. I plop on her couch and she goes to the kitchen. How I miss sitting and sleeping in this couch, I pat it gently and sigh. She comes back with a plate of chicken wings and a glass of coke. "I just cooked them,"

"Oh?" I look at her and see her face flushed. "Since when?"

"Three months ago," she mutters as she sips on her glass of coke that was already there before I went inside. Three months, huh? To impress Donghae? Wow. I let out a scoff and she looks at me in an instant. "W-why?"

"Nah, I just got distracted," I bite my lips and look away from her. "So, what did you want to talk about?" I mutter and she doesn't reply for several seconds.

"Can you- can you at least try one of them?" she says softly and I sigh before I grab one of the chicken wings. "How does it taste?"

"It's- nice," I give her a small smile before I bite off all the meat and leave the bones at the side of the plate. I take one more piece and look at her. "So?"

"I'm sorry for not believing in you when you told me about Donghae oppa," she pauses to look at me and I just nod at her. "He's been all gentle to me so it just didn't occur to me that he would take advantage of me. Thank you, Taeyeon-ah," she tucks strands of her hair behind her ear, an action that I grow to hate because it makes my heart skip a beat. How come just a simple act can have that strong effect on me? "And I'm also sorry for saying- mean things to you. When I get angry, I just blurt out words that I'd definitely regret," she continues. You shouldn't say that, Jessica, because you make me think that I have hope. You're making me all delusional again. I put the bones next to the ones that I just did, minutes ago. I can tell that she's looking at me but I don't want to do the same thing. I'm just scared that I'd be drawn into you deeper. What will happen if I'm done with all this chicken wings? Do I have to look you in the eyes? "Aren't you curious about the reason why I start cooking?" With my peripheral view, I see her take a sip of her coke and her lips. Why did you need to do that? You're seducing me without even trying, Jessica.

"Why?"

"Because I thought I should get used to cooking by myself," she mutters softly and I look up to her. "I realised that you wouldn't be there as my personal chef anymore," she bitterly chuckles and this time she's the one avoiding my gaze. She fiddles with her fingers on her lap and she continues, "I just thought that if you really liked me then of course you'd want me to take a good care of myself. I wanted to stop eating all those fry food take outs or deliveries. You told me that their cooking oil might have already been overused," she chuckles softly. Where is she going with this? "Donghae was a good distraction and that's why I wanted to keep him close. He's funny and witty but what I liked most about him was that he made me forget about you," she pauses to look at me and I just keep quiet. How can she say that I'm being delusional when her words are so vague? Did she miss our friendship that much? "When I said that you were being delusional- I'm not sure whether you remember because you were drunk, but I just- I said it because I was angry at you. I felt like being toyed. Tiffany broke up with you because you liked me but then Hyuna was able to take you home. I felt betrayed," a tear escapes from her eye and I grab the tissue box from the table to give it to her. How I wished that I didn't eat these wings then my hands wouldn't be oily. I could've wiped away her tears. "I hate you, Taeyeon-ah," she sobs and this makes me frown. Seconds ago she implied that she likes me and now she's telling me that she hates me? "I hate you because you give me all these butterflies that I never thought I had until you lent me your jacket. I was touched by your thoughtfulness but I like the way you can make me smile over the simplest thing. I hate you because you made me want to want you although that time I was with Dongwook oppa and you were with Tiffany. I hate you because you make me do things that I thought I'd never do. You made me wish upon a star," she chuckles. "Which girl as old as my age wish upon a star? That's just plain stupid. I wished that things could just go back to the way it used to be but I know it's impossible. You're already happy with someone else," she locks her gaze at me and time seems to stop. So all this time I wasn't being delusional? All this time we share the same feelings?

"So you- you like me?" I quirk my eyebrows and put down the chicken wing. I clean my hand with the tissue until it's not oily anymore and take a sip of the coke. When I look back at her, I see her staring at me with those teary eyes. "You like me?"

"Yeah," she trails off and look down to her lap, her face flushed. "I know that I shouldn't say these things when you're already in a relationship with Hyuna but I just needed to tell you my feelings," she bites her lips and fiddles with her fingers.

"What took you so long to accept the fact that you like me?" I mutter softly.

"I just- it feels wrong to like your best friend's girl-"

"Ex-girlfriend," I cut her and she looks up to me.

"Ex-girlfriend," she trails off. "And I said all those awful things to you so I just thought that I should know my place. I ruined-"

"You know, when I decided to stop by your apartment, I wasn't expecting you to confess at all," I purse my lips. "Your confession caught me off guard, honestly," I chuckle and I notice she's still silent. "Be my girlfriend, Sica," I mutter and her eyes widen in shock. "My one and only girlfriend, I'm not dating Hyuna,"

"You're not?"

"That time when you asked me to join you for dinner, I just ended things with her. Sort of ended things, I guess?" I furrow my eyebrows. "She didn't reply but I can assure you that whatever relationship we had, I didn't put my feelings in it," I reach out to hold her hand and caress it with my thumb. "I slept with her because I wanted a distraction, I wanted to stop thinking about you," I kiss her hand gently and place it on my cheek. "And I avoided you because I wanted to stop being delusional," I close my eyes and sigh softly. "Now that I know I wasn't delusional at all, be my girlfriend," I mutter before I open my eyes. I see her smiling before she starts to nod. I shift my gaze from her eyes to her lips and look back up. "Can I- can I kiss you?" I mumble and she doesn't say anything. She cups both of my cheek and leans in before she captures my lips with her own

A/N wooo it turns out that Jess likes Taeyeon long long time ago. Did any of you expect that? :P

Special thanks to baektaesone, misakikobayashi, DenzelleRaye for the votes and all those subscribers and of course, the comments!!