CH 5: June 14, 2012 

I wanted to cry. 

It had been three days, three entire days, since I had went to my audition. 

“We'll contact you soon,” they said. “Wait for our call,” they said. 

Liars. 

It had been three days! 36 hours! But Appa said he had gotten no call!

I had basically hijacked his phone, my heart jumped every time it’s screen lit up. But each time it did, it wasn't them. 

I felt angry and annoyed more than sad. That woman had made me get my hopes up, then they went and didn't tell me anything. Jesus. 

I was in Eunhee’s room, my face stuffed in her duvet. I was ranting to her. 

“It's just so annoying and infuriating and just so, so-”

“Out of adjectives?” Eunhee questioned as she did her makeup. I scowled at her. 

“I'm serious!”

“I know you are, Lani. But right now, complaining won't help you any.”

“I'm not complaining!”

“Yes, you are. Lani, chill. They'll call, they said they will. Now, why don't you get changed? We're leaving in, like, 20 minutes.”

I huffed, but did what she said. All of the Seok family, my family,  Eunhee’s, and my aunt’s family, was coming. Even my (paternal) grandparents were coming. 

Eunhee, Minhee, Lauren, and I were home alone all day. Our parents had been out somewhere, which had left us with everything to do. 

Of course, all we ended up doing was watching Boys over Flowers and cooing over Lee Minho. 

Apparently, we were going somewhere fancy, from what the clothes my mother suggested for me had suggested. 

I knew my DECA dresses would come in handy one day. 

I joined Eunhee at her vanity table to do my own makeup. We didn't talk much as we did our makeup, just sang along to the 2NE1 blasting from my phone. 

“Use this one, it goes good with your complexion,” she handed me a tube of lipstick. The rosy lipstick was a good finishing touch for me. 

Eunhee was putting on her shoes as I got up from the table. 

“Hurry up, Lani,” she urged. I made her turn around as I stripped down, donning a blue and white skater-esque dress. 

“I'm decent,” I called to her as I finished putting it on. 

“Hm, cute,” she complimented. 

“Thank you,” I held my dress out and curtsied.  

“What was that?” She laughed, not recognizing the western concept. 

“Oh, it's like… in the west, it's how women bow.”

“Huh. Weird.”

                   ***

“And he dragged her by her legs, and said ‘Appa! Myung Ra has a boyfriend!’”

“In front of everybody!” My aunt Myung Ra added an indignant exclamation. 

All of us laughed at the story my grandfather was recounting. My uncle was wild back in the day, apparently. My cousins and I listened to all of the tales intently. 

I didn't notice my father’s phone ringing, though he did and picked it up. 

“Yoboseyo?” He spoke into the iPhone. 

“Yeobo, don't pick your phone up during dinner,” my mother berated him. He nodded, not to her but to whoever was on the phone. 

“Oh, jinjja?” He looked over at me, his eyes smiling in place of his mouth. 

“It's them,” he mouthed. 

I dropped my chopsticks. 

I froze like I had been touched by Medusa. All I could do watch and listen intently as Appa discussed my future oh-so-casually. 

Eunhee attempted to put my chopsticks back in my hand, but my hand was so stiff that they just fell out anyway. She, along with my sister and Minhee and my other cousins, Kibum and Jaesoo, sniggered at my frozen state. I didn't care enough to say anything back. 

“Ne, ne,” Appa kept on repeating. He began to get up, phone still glued to his ear. He covered the mouthpiece, telling us to continue eating and that he would be back in a few. 

Needless to say, I couldn't eat.

My stomach was full on it's own, though I had barely touched my braised ribs. 

“Eat, Lani,” my mother commanded. I shook my head, my eyes fixed on the window from which I could see my dad. She made a ‘tsk’ noise, but didn't press anything further. 

“If you're not eating it, can I have it?” The 14 year old Kibum asked. I nodded, my direction still unmoving. 

I heard my aunt scold him as he ate my food, and everybody laugh as he gave a witty response. 

Eunhee’s fingers snapped in front of my eyes, causing me to flinch and look at her. 

“Chill, Lani,” she soothed. “What's gonna happen is gonna happen. It won't make a difference whether or not you stare at your dad as it does. Stop, chill, you're gonna give yourself anxiety.”

Letting out a deep breath, I nodded and set my head down. Everybody's stories went on as I listened to them half-heartedly, the other half of my heart bursting with excitement, apprehension,