If this idiot doesn’t stop pushing me, I’m gonna stab something, I swear. Eunhee told me SM auditions were busy, but I never thought she meant they were an absolute warzone. It was only 1:30, auditions were to start in some 30 minutes, but some of these try hards were already trying to prove that they were oh-so-talented. Some were, but it was still so annoying.

People were dancing and singing and rapping outside the POSCO P&S Tower, waiting for the doors to open so we could go up to the third floor, where the auditions were being held. Personally, I thought it was stupid that they were already showing off. They were only going to tire themselves out.

I have to say, I was pretty excited. Though I was pretending to act stylishly nonchalant about this with Eunhee and Langston, I was bubbling up inside. I was only supposed to be in Korea for about two weeks, to visit our cousins and grandparents. Eunhee had suggested that I try out for some entertainment company after a night of karaoke and introducing her and her sister to High School Musical. Langston, being the ‘great’ brother that he was, supported me. Or more my potential embarrassment.

My parents knew nothing about this; I could only imagine my mom’s anger if she found out I actually wanted to follow a career in entertainment. Of course, I was always interested in singing and dancing; my many awards proved that. Despite this, there was always a silent agreement that stated I would follow in either my mother’s footsteps as a businesswoman or in my father’s as a doctor. But, you know what they say. Agreements were meant to be broken, or something like that.

I rubbed my makeup-less face and hummed Beyonce’s Halo to myself, the song I was auditioning with. Eunhee grinned as she caught the tune of the song.

“Nervous?” she questioned, not patronizingly. I shook my head.

“Not so much nervous about this as I am about Eomma and Appa’s reactions.” Langston let out a bark (or was it a laugh?).

“They’ll only find out if you make it,” he remarked. “Which, you know, is a stretch given your lack of talent.” I rolled my eyes at his teasing. Langston could never be serious. Eunhee smacked his arm.

“Langston oppa, she’s already nervous, don’t be rude on top of that!” She exclaimed. I grinned at her beration.

“Yeah, Langston oppa, don’t be rude,” I goaded. Neither of us was used to these Hangul honorifics. Having lived in Dallas, Texas almost our entire lives, we were used to “dude”, “man”, “y’all”, and the occasional endearing cuss word.

“Shut up, dongsaeng. You’re lucky I haven’t told Eomma and Appa yet, or you would be back in school right now, taking that test you came here to miss.” My ears burned slightly as I felt blood rise in my face.

“Hey, that’s not true! I’m good at Calculus! I didn’t just-”

“They're opening the doors!” I heard a girl shout.

I jerked my head in the direction of the doors, halting my speech. People started to move forward immediately. We were in a line, not a crowd, thank God, but I doubted that was going to stop this stampede.

Langston grabbed my arm and Eunhee’s.

“Let’s go,” he hissed. As he dragged me and my cousin through the throng of people, I had realized I had never been this thankful of my brother’s bulky football-player frame as he parted the sea of people with me and Eunhee were pressed behind him.

We reached the door in probably just under two minutes, which sounds just as long as it took. As we fought to reach the lobby, a small woman inside was standing on a chair and yelling over the noise.

“Auditions are in the third floor! All friends and family members must stay on the first floor! Only auditioners go to the third floor!”

“Where’s the elevator?” I all but shouted in Langston’s ear.

“Forget the elevator, use the stairs,” he said back. I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Just go to the second and use the elevators from there, you won’t be able to use them from here,” he gestured to the people gathered around the elevator.

I pursed my lips.

“You’re probably right. I’m gonna blast, see you guys in a few!” I broke out into a bit of a run towards the door that said ‘Stairwell’.

“Good luck!” Eunhee yelled.

I climbed the stairs, skipping one at a time. I was panting as I reached the second floor, and I ran into the hall. Men in suits stared at my leggings and Nike windbreaker. I gave them an awkward wave as I pressed on the elevator button repeatedly.

The elevator was semi crowded, hopefuls and workers galore, so I bowed quickly before walking in. I jogged my leg up and down nervously as the doors closed and we began to move up.

What if my voice breaks? What if I mess up when they ask me to dance? What if everybody has lied to me my entire life and I’m actually trash at singing and dancing?

The soft ding of the elevator opening didn't break me out of my thoughts, only made them more real. I twitched my nose as I walked inside, smiling at everybody I made eye contact with. They didn't smile back.

I searched for the desk Eunhee said would be there. I was supposed to grab the application and fill it out as fast as I could so I could get my audition over with.

The desk was pretty simple, the only decoration a sign atop it, showing the SM artists and a few pamphlets, with the forms in a semi messy pile. I grabbed one, partially crumpling it in the process.

It was general information: the date, then my gender, followed by name and Korean name (which I didn’t have; only my real name and my Chinese name). Then it asked for my date of birth, address, phone number, height and weight, so on and so forth.

I finished it in some 2 minutes, not bothering to move too far away from the desk, where the woman sitting behind it started to sort out papers that people had turned in already. I greeted her, bowing and smiling as I handed her my form. She gave me a number to stick on my jacket, which I did, no questions asked.

Now there was nothing to do. I had my phone (with no internet), my water bottle, and a pen. I walked over to a wall across the desk and lowered myself into a sitting position. I opened my phone, playing the sole game I had.

A few minutes later, a frantic girl distracted me as she began asking almost everyone in sight for a pen or a pencil, which everyone denied her.

“I have one!” I called out. She jerked her head towards me, obviously grateful. She all but ran toward me, bowing repeatedly.

“Kamsahamnida!” she exclaimed. I handed her the pen with a smile. She sat down next to me, writing with her paper against the wall. As soon as she was finished, she smiled at me, a couple of teeth away from worried, and thanked me, but forgot to hand back my pen.

I watched her as she rushed to the lady and handed her the paper, bowing hurriedly in the process. The woman gave her a number, and she stuck it on her white t-shirt. The woman went back to her work and she stood there awkwardly, hands waving by her side.

“Excuse me!” I called out. She turned to look at me, her expression questioning. Giving her a small smile, I imitated writing with a pen. Her eyes widened as she waved the pen in her hand.

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” she murmured as she neared me. She offered me the pen with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay,” I replied. “I suppose everybody is nervous today.” She laughed lightly and nodded.

“You’re auditioning?” She questioned. I nodded.

“As a singer, or well, idol.”

“Oh, wow, good luck!” Her smile was encouraging as she replied.

“And you?”

“A dancer,” she said brightly. “I would audition to be an idol, only problem is I can't sing at all.” I laughed in response.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter