CH 11: February 19, 2013

“Cut!” The director called out. “Hyerin, I'm not the choreographer, but I'm pretty sure your choreography doesn't involve tripping.” My ears pricked with annoyance at the rude director as Hyerin mumbled out a “sorry”. I rubbed her back as Ahra called out for us to return to our formation. 

“Why don't we take a break?” Our manager suggested from behind the cameraman. 

“No, we're f-” Sixiao began to wave him off before Ahra cut her off. 

“I think we do need a break,” she announced. “Thank you.” I could hear the director muttering under his breath as he got up from his chair. 

The dark lighting changed to something more visible as Ahra turned to look at us. “I know you guys are tired, but please work your hardest. We practiced for eight weeks! We should be perfect. Our debut is as important to you guys as it is to me, right?” We all nodded, with murmurings of affirmation. 

“Then let's made it the best debut anybody has ever seen, yes?” We all agreed. 

“Hands in,” I announced, putting my arm out into the center of the little circle we had made. Ahra made a face. 

“Do we have to?” She whined, not obnoxiously. I nodded. 

“We do, especially in times of crisis.” Emika snorted at my “words of wisdom.”

“What crisis? Nobody even knows who we are,” she retorted. I winked at the Japanese girl. 

“Exactly. That’s the crisis,” I stated. Sixiao giggled at my logic, putting her hand in the circle to sit atop mine. 

“If that's the crisis, it's the worst crisis that can happen to us,” she added her input cutely. 

“That's right! Now, hands in everybody.” First was Hyerin, then Emika, followed by a sighing Ahra. 

“N, Y, X,” I chanted, our hands pressing down with every number. “Give the best!” We all shouted as we broke. 

“That's so embarrassing,” Emika murmured as we moved apart. Ahra nodded her head in agreement. 

I grinned. “Let's get water,” I suggested. 

“Bring some back for me,” our leader asked. “I'm gonna look over what we recorded.”

“Okay, Leader-nim,” I said in a sing song voice. She scowled. 

“Gross. Don't call me that.” I laughed as we walked off the set. I loved her reactions whenever I addressed her formally. 

All five of us had become close over the span of a few days, I thought as I stepped over the intricate mess on the set that the designers had created. Of course, we had all been relatively friendly with each other but the night we all moved into our shared dorm changed a lot. 

Ahra, who had been assigned the role of leader (and visual, and lead vocalist, and lead dancer) had suggested we share our stories with each other. 

It was as enlightening as it was deep. I learned that Ahra had been street casted, that Hyerin was an underground rapper before her mother begged her to adopt something more tame (which was apparently the life of an idol), that Emika had been in the f(x) lineup before she got cut, and that Sixiao had been rejected by JYP before SM accepted her. 

It didn't stop at the basics, though. Hyerin told us about her dad, who had died when she was only six, leaving her and her mom by themselves. Ahra had struggled with depression the first few years as a trainee. Emika almost quit SM after she got cut. Sixiao had been bullied her first year as a trainee.

I told them about myself, too. How my family nearly went bankrupt when I was four, causing us to move to Venezuela where my father was able to complete his residency and support us at the same time. How I used to feel an obligation to let my parents live through me even after we moved back to the US and they had become successful. 

It wasn't completely nostalgic, though. We talked about what we all had in common: