Yixing didn’t have parents. He understood it on his first day in preschool when he saw the other boys being picked up by their parents. Their mothers were young and beautiful, and sometimes he saw their fathers with them.

He was aware Mama Shuang couldn’t be his real mother. She was older, and the name ‘Mama’ wasn’t just reserved for him, everyone else called her that. If anything, she could be his grandmother. Nevertheless, Shuang was like his family. The older woman had always been by his side, every birthday, every Christmas, every holiday. He had even met her family back in China. And Yixing had asked her if she could teach him Chinese, he wanted to learn it.

One day as they were returning from school, he asked her where his real parents were. She looked at him worriedly, then carefully told him that he shouldn’t cry no matter what. Yixing promised it. Shuang said that his parents had died of a sickness back in China one year after he was born, and they had asked her to take care of him. And Yixing didn’t cry, there was no reason to. He had never met them before, so he didn’t know if he missed them or not. But at least now he could answer his friend’s questions about his parent’s whereabouts.

On another occasion, they were eating lunch when Yixing’s curiosity about a certain boy finally got answers.

As he was eating his food, he asked the old woman, “Mama Shuang, who is the other boy living here?”

“He’s Young Master Kim Joonmyeon, Yixing,” she said, eating a bite of bread in between. “He will inherit this whole place one day.”

“Where’s his mom? Whenever I see him, he is with the nannies.”

“Mrs. Kim died when he was born Yixing.”

Yixing felt sorry for the little boy. He remembered himself before attending to school and how lonely he felt spending the days at the house. “He must be lonely. Do you think I can play with Joonmyeon, Mama Shuang?”

Shuang stopped eating and looked at him sternly. “Yixing you cannot call him by his name. He is Young Master Kim to you. We cannot disrespect the house we live in.”

Yixing felt a bit nervous and guilty as if he had committed a terrible mistake. He swallowed and said, “I guess I can’t play with Young Master Kim.”

“No, it wouldn’t be appropriate. We’re servants of this house, and he is the son of the Master.”

When he was seven, Yixing tried, really tried, to stay away from Joonmyeon. But Joonmyeon was so persistent and kept sneaking down to the servant’s floor to see him.

Eventually, the day Joonmyeon had saved him after knocking down the vase in the living room, his resolution faltered, and he decided to become friends with him. Joonmyeon was not as intimidating as he had pictured him, quite the contrary he was a sweet and polite boy.

At first, they had to sneak during their encounters since Shuang would not approve of their friendship. Because the house was so immense, there was enough space to hide anywhere. Then as the years passed, Joonmyeon though it was ridiculous and started to hang out with him openly.

The day Shuang had found them they were playing wrestling and Yixing had just hit Joonmyeon lightly on the left arm. She scolded nine-year-old Yixing severely for acting so unsuitably with Mr. Kim’s son and told him he ought to respect the boy not to harm him. She apologized to Joonmyeon and said she would make sure Yixing never hurt him again.

But Joonmyeon stopped her before she took away Yixing, “Shuang we were just playing. Yixing is my friend. If you keep him away from me, I’ll go back looking after him,” he said firmly.

Shuang didn’t like it. But eventually, even she learned to see past their ‘inappropriate’ friendship. Of course, not without sometimes reminding Yixing that Joonmyeon was the heir of Mr. Kim.

When he was sixteen, Yixing started doing chores around the house to earn extra money. Ever since he was introduced to music in school, he fell in love with instruments, music scores, and singing. Shuang had encouraged his hobby and paid for him to take guitar, piano or singing classes. She even bought him the albums from his favorite artists. When he was fourteen she had given him his own guitar, but now it was old, and he wanted a better model. But he didn’t want to aggravate her with more money, so he worked in the house to save the money.

Surprisingly that same year during Christmas, Joonmyeon had given him the guitar. It was an action he hadn’t expected but truly appreciated. Though, he did feel sorry for not giving Joonmyeon anything. So, he thought carefully about what he could get him with the money he had saved. Then he got it. He remembered one-time Joonmyeon mentioned that if there was anything he wished for was to meet his mother. Yixing couldn’t fulfill that longing, but he could portray one.

He had always been exceptionally good at drawing and painting with watercolors. Sometimes when Yixing didn’t feel motivated to play or write music, he would draw. This time he decided to make good use of his unexpected talent. With the money, he would buy all the supplies he needed.

Yixing was going to give Joonmyeon an album of him and his mother through the years. He was going to give it to him the day Joonmyeon would turn fifteen. It gave Yixing a good five months before the 22nd of May.

The most difficult part of the process was to find a time when Joonmyeon wasn’t watching him. He had some pictures with Joonmyeon that he could use as a reference. But Yixing needed to see the images of Joonmyeon’s mother that hung around the house. That was why Yixing found himself sleepless the entire first third of the year. Every night he could, he found himself drawing her different expressions from the pictures. She was gorgeous, and her smile was the exact same as Joonmyeon, well all of her reminded him of Joonmyeon.

As the date drew near, Yixing had managed to draw and paint around fifty pictures. They portrayed Joonmyeon and his mother from his baby days till now and were New Year’s, Christmas, Halloween, birthday or vacation themed. It turned out to be a beautiful collection, and he was pleased with his work. Yixing put all the pictures in a photo album-like folder he made himself.

Finally, the day arrived. Yixing wanted to be the first one to congratulate Joonmyeon, so he went early in the morning and knocked on his bedroom door. He held the photo album tightly with his other hand.

When Joonmyeon opened, Yixing shouted ‘Happy Birthday’ and gave him a hug, still holding the album between them. Joonmyeon thanked him and asked him to take a seat on the bed, as he was still in pajamas and didn’t plan to get up until his birthday lunch. Then Joonmyeon noticed the album on Yixing’s hands and wondered what it was.

Yixing looked at him and explained how he had felt so touched by Joonmyeon’s present last Christmas, and that this was his late Christmas and birthday gift.

Joonmyeon took the album and started scrolling through the pictures. Sometimes he caressed the images carefully and murmured ‘Thank you, thank you so much’ to Yixing. By the end, he let out a few tears and hugged Yixing saying this was the most amazing thing someone had ever done for him. Joonmyeon was glad to have him as a friend and loved him very much.

As Yixing hugged back Joonmyeon and said he loved him as well, he felt his heart beating rapidly and erratically.

In July of the same year, Yixing, and Luhan were at the library studying for their upcoming math test. Yixing finally uttered the question he had been wondering for a while.

“Luhan, how do you know if you are in love?”

Luhan looked up from his textbook and stared at him puzzled. He took his time thinking until he answered, “I don’t know… You care about them? Or maybe you feel butterflies in your stomach, and you heart races when you are together.”

“Hmm…”

“Why are you asking this Yixing? Do you like someone in our class?”

He and Luhan had come to terms with their uality last summer, so he openly told him everything. Yixing confided to his friend how he had felt so touched and happy with Joonmyeon’s gesture. So much that Yixing had worked hard to repay him. Ever since that day he gave him the album, his heart started beating faster in his presence. He found out the first thing he thought of the morning was Joonmyeon, and the last thought as well. Yixing said how he liked seeing Joonmyeon smile and only wanted to see him happy, to make sure his smile never faltered.

Luhan couldn’t help but feel preoccupied for his friend. “Yixing… You cannot be in love with him. He is the heir of one of the biggest companies. There is no way in hell his father would let him be in a relationship with some commoner like us, especially not a homoual one. It’ll ruin his image.”

Yixing sighed and leaned on the table hiding from Luhan’s gaze. “I know that… I’m aware of it… But I keep feeling this way when I’m with him.”

“You need to put some distance before this turns out into something crazy.”

“But how? We live in the same house, we always see each other in the afternoons.”

“I don’t know, stay back in school, go to the library or come visit me during the weekends. Just do whatever you can to stop spending time with him.”

Yixing listened to Luhan’s word. By the end of next year, he would be graduating high school and start working as Joonmyeon’s chauffeur to pay for college. They could never be equals and Joonmyeon would never fall for him. He knew Luhan was right. Their friendship was bound to end someday, so why not hurry up the inevitable before he committed a big mistake?

Shortly after that, Yixing began following Luhan’s advice. It hurt him to see Joonmyeon saddened by his change in attitude. But Yixing stood firmly by his decision, it was a necessary evil.