It had been a rough day. Yixing had just arrived home after being in the music studio for almost twelve hours straight, helping the young rapper Huang Zitao. He had never tried composing rap before, but it was always fun to try new things. That was what he loved about his job, the new challenges and experiences it brought.

Yixing walked into his bedroom and laid on the bed exhausted. It was 11:30 PM, and he needed to sleep.

A little over three years had passed in the blink of an eye. At first, when Yixing had arrived it had been difficult. He had been distressed, his self-contempt and guilt never seemed to abandon him. He couldn’t forgive himself for the things he had done to Joonmyeon. Neither could he ask the boy for forgiveness because he knew Joonmyeon might despise him.

The only good thing that life had given him, after his time with Joonmyeon, was his job. Things had gone splendidly during the first year. He had learned much from seniors, polished his skills and at the end earned a permanent spot on the music label. Music was the one thing that kept him breathing, and it gave him a momentary welcomed joy. He absorbed himself in music. He lived in the studio, he composed or sang until his eyelids hurt and his boss sent him off to sleep. But Yixing had preferred to be awake and focused in music because every time he closed his eyes, he feared of dreaming the nightmare of the events with his father and brother. Yet the fruits of his hard work had been fantastic. Yixing had gotten the opportunity to work with many artists and had gained his position as a respectable composer and vital component of the music label. Sometimes Yixing had even sung with some of the vocalists. At least in this sense, his life had been more than fine.

As Yixing moved to lay on his side, he saw the gold envelope shining on his nightstand. He picked it up, and read the invitation one more time, as he had done many times after it had arrived in March, three months ago:

The honor of your presence is requested

at the marriage of

Kim Joonmyeon

&

Lee Hye

On Sunday the fifth of July

At five o’clock in the afternoon

The first time Yixing had read it, he wanted to throw it away immediately. Reading that invitation felt like a thousand daggers piercing his heart. The sensation just worked as proof that he was still not over Joonmyeon. Yixing feared he would never be able to forget him. And that distressed him because it wasn’t right. Yet despite feeling this way about the envelope, he hadn’t thrown it away. Yixing had laid it somewhere in his apartment, hoping that it would get lost, just as many insignificant things did. But the envelope was obstinate, it would always find its way to make itself visible for Yixing. In the end, he had just placed it on his nightstand.

Yixing didn’t understand what in the world had gone through Joonmyeon’s mind when he asked Luhan to send it to him. But it had also felt nostalgic. It was so typical of Joonmyeon to do this kind of reckless act. It had been one of his most difficult qualities, but Joonmyeon would always realize when things had been his fault, and he would apologize properly. However, that had been back then. Now he didn’t know if Joonmyeon was just as reckless, or if this had been a mistake. Yet the RSVP had his name, a blue post-it was written with Joonmyeon’s handwriting, and Luhan had said it was Joonmyeon who gave it to him (Luhan planned to never give it to Yixing, but Sehun influenced his final choice). So, Joonmyeon wanted him to attend the wedding.

Why?

Nobody knew. All Yixing knew was that next week he would be traveling to Seoul, after three years, and sing with Kyungsoo. He had wanted to decline first, but Kyungsoo and Yifan had been very persuasive that in the end, he gave in. The concert would be on Friday the 3rd of July. Joonmyeon’s wedding would take place two days later. Whether he wanted it or not, Yixing was going to be in South Korea near the date of Joonmyeon’s wedding.

For some even more unfathomable reason, Yixing wanted to go. Of course, he didn’t wish to see Joonmyeon and Hye getting married, it was going to hurt him. But maybe if he could get Joonmyeon’s forgiveness, then maybe he could forget everything and finally get the peace he strove for. And then Yixing could forgive himself as well. Besides, even if Yixing didn’t want to think about it, Joonmyeon was his only family left (Yixing’s real parents would always be Shuang). And perhaps Joonmyeon had fallen for Hye this time, it was a possibility. Then, the only one thinking it was going to be weird and awkward was him since Joonmyeon would’ve already forgotten everything. But wasn’t his attendance going to reopen old wounds? Yes, and even if that was the case and whatever happened, Yixing had to go and ask for Joonmyeon’s mercy. He could be selfish this time, and after all, Joonmyeon had sent him the invitation.

It was going to be difficult, and Yixing was going to need a lot of self-control to inhibit every odd feeling: love, jealousy, happiness, butterflies, rapid heartbeats, all of it had to be shut down. Could he do it? Well, there was only one way to find out.

He read the blue post-it once again. With neat and tidy letters Joonmyeon had written:

Yixing, feel free to RSVP whenever you want. Don’t mind

the deadline. Please call me at this number: XXX…

Yixing picked up his phone and looked at the clock. It was a little over 12 AM, 1 AM in South Korea. If Joonmyeon didn’t answer, then he could just leave a voicemail, which was probably for the best. His finger tapped the screen and dialed the digits. Then, he rang and held the device against his ear.

One beep. Two beeps. Three beeps. And then…

“Hello… Who’s this?” Joonmyeon groggily answered.

He said nothing.

“Hello?”

Yixing finally gathered his guts and spoke. “Joonmyeon.”

“Yi-Yixing?” Joonmyeon quivered.

“Yes, it’s me. I-I’m coming to your wedding.”