It had been a fun day. Yixing had never paid attention to Yifan in class before, but now during the time they had spent together, he got to see more sides to him. It was funny to see how someone his size could be so dorky and sweet at the same time. He laughed a lot with him. But Yixing didn’t like him, not one bit.

There were sitting on a bench in the park, watching the sunset. Words about their future and their dreams were uttered. Then they were silent.

Suddenly, he saw Yifan closing his eyes and leaning closer to him. His heart started to beat rapidly, not because he was excited, but because he was afraid. Yixing didn’t want that; he didn’t want his first kiss to be with someone else besides Joonmyeon.

So, he quickly covered his mouth. Yifan’s lips pecked his hand.

Surprised, Yifan opened his eyes and retracted himself from Yixing’s personal space. His face gave away the embarrassment he was feeling.

“Sorry,” Yixing said.

Yifan shook his head and told him, “No, don’t apologize.” Then he smiled, “It’s my fault. I’m sorry for trying to force myself onto you.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accepted your invitation, not when I know, I’m in love with someone else. It was wrong.”

Yifan looked at him tenderly. “It’s okay Yixing. Not everything goes as one wishes, I’m glad you still gave me a chance… I hope everything goes well with you and that person.”

Yixing sighed in disbelief. A gloomy expression could be seen on his face. “I doubt that. I’m hopelessly trapped in an impossible crush.”

“I really sympathize with you on that one,” Yifan said bluntly.

“Sorry,” Yixing muttered once again.

“It’s okay. I hope things change for both of us. Now let’s take you back home.”

As Yixing walked into his room, he saw Joonmyeon’s back as he was leaning on his desk.

“Mr. Joonmyeon, what are doing here?”

Joonmyeon straightened up, turned around and looked at him. “Yixing, you’re back,” he said. Then he stood up and walked closer to Yixing. He raised his voice and spoke, “What the hell took you so long? We left at the same time.” 

Yixing stared at Joonmyeon surprised. “What are you talking about?”

“Today at the park! At the movies! I can’t believe that’s how you spend your days off! Dating guys instead of focusing on your music!” Joonmyeon ranted. It wasn’t how Joonmyeon had planned to say it, it was far from it. He had thought of first telling Yixing he was in love with him, but waiting for his return had made him anxious. The memories of the times they had spent together came back to him. And he felt jealous that Yixing could be himself with everyone else but him. It wasn’t fair how Yixing had made him aside out of nowhere, they had been best friends for god’s sake. So instead of rationally explaining himself, Joonmyeon let out his accumulated rage and wariness at Yixing.

Yixing expression went from shock to anger. “Okay, first don’t yell at me. And secondly, It’s none of your business what I do on my free time…I can’t believe you followed me,” Yixing said as he shook his head and sighed. “What gives you the right to do that? We’re nothing.”

The word ‘nothing’ fueled Joonmyeon's wrath. And now he needed to say the things he hadn’t dare to say in the past years. “That’s because you made us nothing! You decided it was best if we stopped being friends, and started treating me as your boss. You were not fair Yixing, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Joonmyeon said. He took a deep breath. “Why? Why did you ing push me away?”

Yixing looked at Joonmyeon nervously. He thought of how he could answer that question, but no words came out. The real reply involved Yixing exposing his true feelings, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do that yet. It was pointless, Joonmyeon and he were from different worlds.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?” Joonmyeon asked, but Yixing still didn’t answer. “Okay, if this is how you want it then… As your boss, I command you to answer me.”

It was the first time Yixing heard it, Joonmyeon’s imposing tone. He had always been very polite when he had ordered him to drive him somewhere before. This time it was strange and hurtful, and it felt like a reminder that Yixing would never be of the same rank as him. This wasn’t the Joonmyeon he remembered, it was some odd, spoiled and malevolent version uttering those hurtful words.

A thickening tension crept in the room. They stood there for a while, staring at each other in silence. Joonmyeon with an annoyed frown and Yixing with a shocked face.

“Come on Yixing, is an order,” Joonmyeon demanded again. 

Yixing decided he wasn’t going to listen to anymore of Joonmyeon’s nonsense. “Get out of my room… Now. Get out!” he shouted the last part as he pointed to the door.

It wasn’t the response Joonmyeon had expected. He didn’t think Yixing would be yelling back at him. “Sure, but before I leave here’s another order for you: you cannot date other guys. Let’s see if you can abide this one.”

Yixing sighed loudly and replied, “Stop being so childish. You can’t forbid me to date people!”

“It’s funny because I think I just did,” Joonmyeon scoffed nonchalantly while crossing his arms.

Yixing was tired of arguing. This wasn’t going anywhere. “What do you want from me Joonmyeon? Why is it you care so much about me being with someone else… That you go as far as disrespecting my privacy and spy Yifan and me.”

The mention of that name was the straw that broke the camel’s back. In the same way, as he had been acting so far, Joonmyeon made another foolish move. He walked closer to Yixing, only stopping a few inches from his personal space. Then he grabbed him by his shirt collar and moved him closer to his face. “Don’t say his name… You belong with me,” were the last words Joonmyeon murmured before closing his eyes and forcefully connecting his lips with Yixing’s.

This wasn’t how Yixing had imagined. Instead of the slow buildup that led to that crucial moment; instead of it making him feel endless butterflies in his stomach; it was empty. It wasn’t easy to sense any love and affection, due to the anger and rage they were feeling moments ago. The action seemed more of a simple, feelingless crash of lips, awkward and forced. Yixing didn’t even close his eyes. So, to stop Joonmyeon from continuing the disastrous act, he started pushing Joonmyeon away from him.

In the end, Joonmyeon retracted and stared at Yixing’s disappointed face. Embarrassment from his childish behavior and now the disastrous kiss covered his cheeks. He could already imagine Yixing telling him how much he disliked him. Joonmyeon didn’t want to hear that.

“Oh god,” Joonmyeon said in shock, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” he uttered before bolting out of the room.

Yixing didn’t follow after him. He needed time to think of what just happened and find the meaning behind all this mess.

As Joonmyeon walked out from the mansion, he grabbed his phone and made a call. “Jongdae, I’m walking to Sehun’s house. Please come pick me up from there.”