Him

It seemed as though everything suddenly became clear the moment Hyorin said “I like you.” It made me think as to how oblivious I must have been in the past, why I never considered that possibility, memories of myself probably appearing as a jerk to a good friend and ignoring the feelings of that good friend.

Truly, only now, as I stare at her biting her lips and a somewhat pained facial expression in comparison to the regret that I began to embark on her.

“Hyorin, I …”

What words could I say at this moment? This person who is confessing to me now isn’t just an average fan girl in the school, but it was a close friend who has been by my side on a journey, and yet, a little blonde girl will always find herself in my mind, even in times like this, her pouting lips and flushing face as she yells out “Monkey-boy!”

That little girl, all of a sudden, became really special to me.

“But you don’t like me in that way, right?” Hyorin spoke in a voice that was huskier than usual.

“Hyorin —“

“You like Hyoyeon.”

“Wha – I – ah!”

Flustered and surprised at the same time, my useless mouth could only explode in gibberish.

Hyorin’s eyes then fell to the ground as she lets out a small breath.

“Why can’t it be me …?”

I too, could no longer watch the sadness that must be upheld by my friend, a feeling that I wouldn’t want to experience with the little blonde girl.

“But I’m not going to give up oppa!” She beams suddenly with what appeared as a forced smile. “I mean, just because you like Hyoyeon, doesn’t mean that she likes you.”

It was as if she threw arrows into my body and kicked my sensitive area several millions of times.

“Even if you do confess to her oppa, knowing you, it’d probably turn into a fight and you guys won’t even talk to each other again.”

Not only that, but she stabs me with a knife consecutively.

“So don’t answer me now oppa.” She stated, making sure to lock eye contact and clenching her fists together. “Just know … that I’ll be waiting.”

With a silent response from myself, she said her thank you and a good night as she walked back into her house. When the front door had closed, I continued standing under the street light, wondering on what to do, still, with that blonde girl in my mind.

Her

Coming to school stimulated an uneasy feeling within me, one that is filled of nervousness and excitement at the same time simply because of one person, him.

“I’ll give you one big hint then Hyoyeon.”

I tilted my head out of interest as to this big secret.

“Think of Eunhyuk, and you’ll know.”

Little did I know that the one big hint that DongDong gave me was the answer.

Why him? I still speculate over the reasons as to why the person that has been bottling up my mind these past weeks had to be Monkey-boy, most importantly, Hyorin’s oppa, someone she’s liked for many years now probably.

Not realizing that I was too focused in my thoughts, I had bumped into DongDong.

“Hey Hyoyeon!” He greeted with a pat on my head. “Why do you seem so out of focus?”

“Well, about what you said —“

“Hyuk-ah~!” He suddenly calls the name that I wanted to hear last today and whom I wanted to encounter last.

I turned around to see him walking casually towards us, but his mind appeared to be attentive somewhere else as he scatters his eyes around his surroundings more often than usual. His eyebrows furrowed in here and there, and delayed his responses to Donghae at times.

Although his behavior was different from the usual, what’s changed the most, are my perspectives of him. No longer do I see him as that idiotic Monkey-boy, but he was now Lee Eunhyuk, someone I like, someone who makes me feel anxious and blush as he stands beside me. Even brushing his shoulders against mine made me giddy and distracts me from Donghae’s conversation with us.

However, today, Eunhyuk made me concerned for him, as he seemed to simply be nodding along, not concentrating, a facial expression of confusion and worry.

“Donghae oppa!” Hyorin calls from behind Donghae and when Eunhyuk’s head turned to see Hyorin, they immediately looked away. “Hey Eunhyuk oppa …”

“Hey.” He replied.

It was strange to view the awkwardness between the two, in that it left an uncomfortable position for all of us, especially for Donghae and I, for we were confused as to why the atmosphere is filled with some form of tension.

“Well, I should get going to class!” Hyorin speaks up and heads off. “I’ll see you guys soon!”

I side-glanced back at Eunhyuk whose eyes were directed at Hyorin’s back as she walks away and at that point, I was left with an unsettling feeling.

For the rest of the day, I wasn’t even able to concentrate in class properly – missing the beat, forgetting steps, daydreaming in thin air --- even the teacher started to question my clumsy behavior. Not only that, but other people were doubting my dancing abilities.

Unknowingly, Hyorin appeared to have waited for me outside of class, and stares at me with a neutral face as she told me to follow her.

At the school garden, we sat ourselves on the bench and both looked out to the grass as a silence fell upon us.

“I’m going to be blunt, and you have to be too,” She demanded as she held a stern eye contact with me, a serious expression from her that I’ve never been exposed to. “Do you like Eunhyuk oppa?”

“Wha –“

“I told you to be blunt.”

Out of all people, all of the people in Korea, all of the people in the world, in the universe, why did Hyorin had to ask that question? Cupid, where are you when people like me really need you huh?!

“I …” I hesitated for a moment, as I looked back at her, somehow getting the feeling that she already knew the answer. “I think I do.”

The little words manage to slip out of my mouth and I felt myself flushing from embarrassment.

THIS IS NOT KIM HYOYEON. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!

She let out a heavy sigh and drifted her eyes back at the field of green grass.

“You know I like him too, right?”

“But I don’t think my like, and your like are the same.” I blurted, wanting to release my personal mind diary to her. “I mean, your liking towards Eunhyuk seems a lot stronger than mine and I don’t really know about mine. I’m not even sure of what to do, I don’t even know if I like him a hundred percent …”

I dropped my head down, and closed my eyes tight, hoping this messed up emotion will just be removed.

“You make it seem as though ‘liking someone’ is something to be learned from a teacher or something.” She spoke, and I listened carefully now. “It doesn’t matter as to whether I like him more, or you like him more, it’s the fact that you like him at all that makes it significant. Why are you looking at it as a bad thing?”

“I. Don’t. Know.” I said, as though I just found out that my IQ may be lower than Donghae’s. “It’s just, what do I do now?”

“Hey, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” She furrowed her eyebrows and poked my forehead. “Remember, I’m your rival. Not in talent now, but in Eunhyuk oppa.”

She stood up confidently as she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air, exhaling it afterwards.

“As your rival, I’m going to tell you that I confessed to Eunhyuk oppa.” She stated while my pupils dilated from the sudden beginning of what seemed like a battle. “I was keeping it in for a long time but let’s play fair. I like him. You like him. Only one person can be with him. What do you want?”

“What do I want?”

She huffed out a breath of anger and calmly places her hands on my arms, only later did I realize, she did so to shake me furiously.

“No!” She yells now. “Don’t be giving me that cute clueless face, and don’t even show that to Eunhyuk oppa! Don’t do me any favors and push Eunhyuk to me because that’s just stupid and I will punch you in the face if you let me have him! Do yourself a favor and figure out what you want! What do you want to do?!”

She then let go of me and rushed her fingers through her fringe.

“Now I shall go because I feel so much better after having released that energy. So goodbye!”

She strutted away too fast for me when I had wanted to stop her in her tracks and ask her again.

What I want? A picture of a person dancing in the studio comes across my mind.

Him

 “There you are!” Donghae sighed as he plopped himself next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. “You know hiding at the back of the school makes it very hard for me to find you.”

I nudged him away as we both lean against the wall behind the empty music room.

“That’s the point of hiding you idiot.”

“Well I guess you’re still Eunhyuk today hey?”

“What do you mean …” I asked, although I’ve already known.

“Tch,” He scoffed as he picked up a rock on the ground and fiddled it in his hands. “Lee Eunhyuk, the dancing king of the school, dares to miss out on a lesson to crouch behind the school?”

I heaved the millionth sigh today and now understood the burden of having a best friend – they know everything.

“What do I do Donghae?” I asked as I rested my chin on my knees. “Hyorin confessed to me.”

I guess Donghae responded in shock when he had dropped the rock out of his hand and had his mouth gaped, with no words flowing out.

“I know,” I replied to his silence. “I had no idea she liked me that way and —“

 “Did you reject her?”

“No, I —“

“I thought you liked Hyoyeon.”

“I do!” I said as I found a rock to fiddle with. “It’s just that Hyorin said that she won’t give up on me and it’s hard for me to reject Hyorin because, she’s a good friend and everything’s so awkward now between us, and I don’t want it to be … I don’t want to hurt Hyorin, because she’s a friend.

“Do you think that by acting like this will solve anything?” He questioned as I looked back up at him, whereby his eyebrows crossed, and maybe it was just me, but his tone seemed slightly angry. “You have to do things one way or another and it’s up to you to make that choice. Aigoo! I thought that leaving Hyoyeon with you being drunk will make you do something!”

“What?”

He then gave me a wink and lifted himself off from the ground.

“Good luck in finding out what to do!” He said as he left.

“You’re not going to give me any more proper advice?! Yah!”

As I opened my eyes from a calming sleep, I realized that I was on the lounge catch, and not alone. To my right, there laid her body beside me as she hasn’t woken up yet. When my hand felt the need to comb the loose strands of hair away from her face, I quickly pushed her off and mentally slapped myself from taking such action.

 “Aiyah!” She winced in pain and rubbed her eyes, weakly staring at me with her half-asleep state. “What’re you doing in the morning …?”

“What am I doing?!” I asked outraged, slapping my arms in a cross on top of my chest. “W-What’re you doing here?!”

She pulled herself off from the ground and frowned at me.

“Yah! I’m the victim of your alcohol intake here!”

“Alcohol?” I closed my eyes at the sudden headache and try to recall back to last night, but nothing triggered my mind. “What’d I do last night?” I question to myself in a soft whisper.

“Aigoo, forget it.” She says and dusts herself, wanting to leave the apartment.

“Where are you going?”

“School,” She replies and points to the clock.

“Crap, I’m late!” I said with my feet moving but not knowing where to actually go.

 “Calm down monkey-boy,” She says as she stands at the door. “Just go brush your teeth and change clothing. It’s not that hard. I’ll wait for you.”

Even though those last few words didn’t mean that much to her, it sent me a feeling of glee that I tried to hide by coughing. When I began walking to the bathroom, I turned back to her again.

“Hyoyeon.”

She raises her eyebrows and stares at me with her big brown chocolate eyes. “Yeah?”

“I … didn’t say anything weird yesterday right?”

“Actually you did,” Shoot me now, what did I say to her? “You said that you wanted to bite Donghae.”

“What?!” I almost yelp from the shock and she chuckles at my response.

I wonder, if she felt anything that night.

Her

“Yah!” Mom yelled as I let the mop slip out of my hands. “Are you doing a photo shoot or something? Standing still and looking into the distance as if you’re a model or actress!”

I picked up the mop again and sighed. She then frustratedly grabbed it out of my hands and looked at me with concern.

“What is it? Something wrong?”

“Nothing,” I replied with a smile. “I’m just tired I guess.”

She then flicked my forehead and I winced in pain.

“Aish! If you’re tired then go home and go to bed!” She complained, pushing me away to what I assumed would be the exit of the convenience store. “What’re you doing here working for?”

“Mom, I’m fine —“

“Go home and sleep!”

I was then left standing out in the cold late evening as my own mother kicked me out. What an affectionate and loving mother.

As I began to take the route home, I felt my phone vibrating from my pocket and when I had whipped it out to see the Caller ID, I gulped at the name.

“H-Hello …?” I hesitatingly answered after a five second contemplation and stress of whether to pick up or not, but there was no reply from the other line.

“Hello?” I asked again.

“Hyoyeon?”

“Well that’s who you called, didn’t you?”

“Right …” He spoke, sounding slightly sad. “I’m not keeping you from anything right? If I am—“

“No!” I replied quickly. “I mean, no, I’m free. What’s up?”

Even though I tried to sound as calm as possible, the muscle in my chest was gradually beating faster.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to talk to someone and well, I guess that was you.”

STOP SAYING THESE LINES THAT MAKE MY HEART FLUTTER AND MYSELF FLUSH LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD YOU STUPID MONKEY-BOY.

“Okay … what’d you want to talk about?”

“It’s not like I wanted to talk to you by the way. I mean Donghae wasn’t answering my calls and Hyor—you were my only option.”

I noticed that he was about to say Hyorin’s name and hearing that I was an ‘option,’ fuelled an anger within myself.

“Geez! I’m sorry I was your last option Mr. I’m so popular! Why don’t I just find another girl for you to flirt with on the phone and leave you to talk to her? I’ll just hang—“

“No!” He interjected. “Don’t hang up … please.”

“You okay today?” I immediately asked, realizing that I shouldn’t let my feelings get in the way of his problems. “You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Am I really leading girls on?”

“What?”

“That makes me a bad guy doesn’t it? When you reject a person because of your own feelings and you end up hurting them … that’s bad, right?”

“You’re worried about Hyorin’s confession?”

“What?! How’d you know?!”

“She kind of told me …” I reluctantly answered, hoping to not get a beating from her if she found out that Eunhyuk knows that I know.

I heard him sigh on the other line as he stayed quiet.

“How do you feel about it?”

“W-Why would it matter how I feel about it?”

“Just tell me.”

“I-I don’t know … h-how am I supposed to feel about it?”

“I don’t really know either. I’m kind of new to this stuff.”

“This stuff?” I repeated, confused as to where this conversation was going.

However, only silence was answering my question.

“Hello? Eunhyuk?”

I looked at my phone again, and had seen that he already hung up.

Stupid Monkey-boy! You’re the one who called me, asking me for help and then you hang up without saying goodbye! Why the hell do I like a stupid jerk face like you anyway?!

Yet coincidentally, as I was walking through the area around the park, there were street lights already on and one in particular, was shining down on someone who caught my attention. Someone who had always had my attention, but only lately did I gain a sprout of excitement whenever I saw this person.

“Yah!” I yelled as I approached him and he turned around in surprise. “You hanged up on me!”

“My phone ran out of batteries.” He simply shrugged his shoulders. “What’re you doing here anyway?”

I took a seat next to him on the bench and sighed. “I was helping mom at the convenience store but she kicked me out, telling me to go home because she thinks I’m sick.”

He immediately threw me a sharp look and placed his palm over my forehead.

“Are you sick?”

I pushed his hand away before he could feel myself blushing from his action. “Of course not! She ‘thinks’ I’m sick.”

He then returned his hands back into his pockets as he looked down at the ground.

“So … what’re you going to do, about Hyorin?” I asked, still curious about his intention.

“I like Hyorin,” He said, and part of my heart felt like it was breaking until he continued. “But only as a friend and so that’s why I’m trying to think of how to tell her without being the whole bad guy again. I mean, a lot of girls have confessed to me and I don’t really care about how they see me after but Hyorin’s a close friend, I don’t want to hurt her.”

A part of me was relieved that he doesn’t like Hyorin back, but the fact that he’s so close to Hyorin in the first place made me feel left out. The friendship that Hyorin, Donghae and he held is very strong, as opposed to me, who seems to be the intruder of their relationship.

“Then again, you’re still rejecting a girl you know?” I remarked. “Aren’t you afaid that by rejecting her, you’re going to break the friendship?”

“Of course not.” He replied confidently, one to which surprised me. “Hyorin’s strong, she’ll move past it.”

It’s no wonder why Hyorin likes him so much. It’s no wonder why girls like him so much.

“He cares more for others than himself.”

He speaks without shaking his voice, in a way to show how strong he is as an individual. His eyes drift to a far place when he talks about how he feels in a way to hide his awkwardness, but then he directly stares at you when he’s in a serious mode. It’s rare to see him smile, but when he does, it seems to be lighting up my world more than usual, and that too, makes me feel harmonious with him.

Because he’s Eunhyuk, and that’s why I like him.

I felt a shiver crawl down my spine from both the breeze and the discovery as to why I like him.

“Are you cold?” He questioned as he began to his hoodie and took it off.

“No!” I said as I was refusing his jacket by shaking my hand ectstatically. “I’m fine! You’re going to get cold you idiot!”

“Yeah, I’m the idiot who’s wearing a jacket when it’s night time unlike you intelligent person who’s wearing a plain shirt.” He said, and now rested the jacket on my shoulders.

“But now you’re just wearing a plain shirt and now you’re going to be cold and then you’re going to blame me for it tomorrow!”

Just then, just then, he confirmed my feelings for him when his fingers slipped into mine, filling in the empty gaps between each finger and not forgetting to let my heart explode from such behavior.

“Don’t worry, I feel warmer now.” He said as he looked straight and showed off his gummy smile.

He tightened his grip on my hand and it sent another fluttery feeling within me. His hands were soft but rough at the same time, as if I could feel his hard work and his gentle side together.

I tried to distract myself from analyzing his hands by looking elsewhere.

“Your hands are really warm,” He spoke. “I like it.”

“Tch,” I scoffed coolly, hopefully. “I-Is that a player’s line?”

He turned his head around so that his eyes were focused back at me now.

“Hyoyeon, I’m not a player, and I don’t want you, out of all people, to think that.”

“W-Why?”

“I’ll tell you some other day.” He said as he stood up, still not letting go of my hand. “Let’s take you home now. I told you already that there are other erts who are worse than you around these areas.”

“Yah! Stop calling me a ert!”

“Not until you admit you are.”

“What? How does that even work?”

“Calm down little ert,” He said as we both were walking now. “Let’s go home.”

And so like that, I was able to understand everything.

A/N: SO THERE YOU HAVE CHAPTER 20 GUYS! Hope you all enjoyed it! I’m thankful to the readers, commenters, and subscribers and to the people who belong to all three categories, THANKYOUTHANKYOU! <3 It’s now December and the end of the year is closing up! I remember starting this last year and am aiming to end it by this year so that we can all start 2013 with a new, refreshed feeling! (The world’s not gonna end this year, don’t worry!) If you’ve had a crappy year this year (as I did, ugh), enjoy the next!

Anyhow, THANK YOU ALL YOU LOVELIES FOR READING THIS STORY :D Thank you to the commenters especially, for giving making me feel a little bit special :3 HYOYEON. EUNHYUK. YEAH. HYOHYUK. YEAH.

I will be back. *tries to be like the terminator but fails miserably*

<3