“I guess you aren´t happy,” Sungmin bit his lip.

He was sitting next to me on the sofa. My flat TV was on and the entertainment channel kept showing the same programme all day.

“No, I´m not,” I retorted. I was a little moody this afternoon and I had a good reason for it.

This morning Lee Donghae had an interview and in that he deeply and seriously apologized to me. He said that he didn´t mean to accuse me, that he was being childish and that he felt sorry for causing me troubles. He asked his fans to treat me well and he sent me his sincere wishes to stay good friends. He said all those words with his big eyes filled with fake tears and flushed cheeks. He looked pitiful and everybody right away took his side again. What a compassionate celebrity.

“Today, during your show, you have to accept his apology, Hyukjae,” Sungmin reminded me.

“Do I?” I snorted, sprawled on the sofa like a paper doll. “What difference would it make? I´m the bastard here.”

“Yahahahahaha!” I almost snapped when Drop-Face burst out laughing behind me. I forgot there´s one more bastard in the room.

“If you don´t accept the apology, you might even lose your job,” Sungmin remarked and I almost twisted my neck when I looked at him in shock.

“Isn´t that going overboard? I´m not a celebrity to end my career for a scandal,” I was fuming.

“Hyukjae,” Sungmin sighed and stood up. “Radio is for people and your listeners decide who they want to listen to. And I´m sorry to say this but there are many comments from Lee Donghae´s fans.”

“That´s unfair,” I mumbled, shuffling behind Sungmin who was putting on his winter coat.

“Hyukjae,” he smiled at me with pity, “I don´t know what happened between the two of you but I think you should resolve this or you are in serious troubles. I don´t want to see you lose the job you love, just because you are stubborn.”

“It´s not my fault,” I couldn´t look into Sungmin´s eyes. Drop-Face was pointing his finger at me and so was Sungmin´s monster.

“I´m not accusing you, Hyukjae,” my friend sighed, “I only want you to be happy. Hang in there, will you?”

“Thanks,” I tried to smile. Sungmin nodded and walked out of my apartment. When the front door closed, I felt tired.

“Fufufufufufu,” Drop-Face was turned away from me but his face was on the back of his head.

“It´s all your fault!” I got mad at him. “If you let me turn Donghae down normally, this wouldn´t have happened.  You monster!” I cried.

Drop-Face stopped laughing and the room quieted down. My own lips closed as if on magic and my eyes widened in fright. It´s not that Drop-Face has ever touched me but his sole presence was blood-freezing. Even after thirty years, I haven´t got used to him. He turned around and walked to me, his pale face sliding over the black skin and stopping on the place where it should be. I hated it the most when his face was on the right place, it was scaring me to death. I closed my eyes tightly and clenched my teeth, I did what you do when you expect to be hit.

“Yahahahaha!” I got startled when he laughed. He didn´t do anything to me, as always, he only made me look pitiful before running away with his face on his belly.

At ten I had my usual radio show. I thought about it a lot, especially Drop-Face made me sober up. I lost my confidence and with it my pride too. I cooled down and apologized to Donghae right at the beginning of the programme. I used careful words and did my best to save my career. But even like that, many vulgar comments kept appearing on the screen through the whole show. In two hours, I collected so many bad comments that I could feed all the staff´s monsters for weeks with them. Pale lights of KTR fans sometimes blinked through Donghae´s fans before they disappeared. I didn´t feel wronged, I did act harshly. But I regretted how it was affecting the whole radio.

After the show, I bowed ninety degrees in the staff room. I did the same towards the show window and one last time in front of the station. I closed my eyes and ears, avoiding people. Actually, whenever I feel weak or unwell, people become transparent for me. All I see are their monsters that peek at me and point their fingers or tentacles. Their hungry colourful eyes, their pale faces or dark skins. I hurried to be fast in the club.

Lee Sangmin was worried about me, as well as the security and the barman. It felt nice to know you have a support. It gave me the strength I needed to work that night. I did my best the whole night but my eyes kept focusing upwards too much, the monsters hanging from the ceiling even took notice of me. I don´t make mistakes like that usually, I was being too shaken by something that wasn´t even that important. Sungmin was right, I had to solve the problem with Donghae personally.

I arrived home early, around four in the morning. I opened a bottle with soju and sat down on the carpet in my pyjamas. It was now or never, I downed the bottle in barely ten minutes on courage before I stupidly took my phone and dialled Donghae´s number.

“Who is it?” The sleepy voice asked when the man finally picked up his phone.

“Me,” I said, for now I still had the alcohol inducted confidence.

“Lee Hyukjae? Why the hell are you calling me at,” a short pause and some rustling, “half past four?”

“I thought you wouldn´t be busy now,” I said and Donghae retorted that he was busy sleeping, which I ignored completely. “And so I wanted to talk.”

“Hyukjae, I think you are drunk,” Donghae´s voice didn´t sound broken anymore, he yawned once.

“You know, I am not a bad person, I just don´t think I could love a guy,” I began explaining something I believed I had sorted out well in my head. Still, it somehow came out jumbled.

“When did I talk about love?” All of a sudden, Donghae seemed to be wide awake and even pissed. “All I wanted was to invite you for a date! And it was you who turned me down as if I was some ugly peasant!” Being yelled at, my self-confidence evaporated.

“But it´s not what I wanted,” I didn´t know why I had to be so embarrassing, “he just kept singing aloud and I was mad but not at you. I was mad at him and took it out on you. It somehow happened but now it´s all ruined and they want me to leave the radio.” I broke in tears. I´m an idiot, what am I even doing here?

“Uh, sorry, I woke you up!” I suddenly told him and in panic shut the call.

Sobriety came too fast. I felt so incredibly ashamed for what I have just done. I was shaking, my face must have been beet red. Drop-Face couldn´t even stand up how much laughing he was. The phone rang in my hands, it was Donghae and it startled me. With shaking hands, I disassembled my phone and left it lying next to me on the carpet. Idiot, embarrassing idiot. I didn´t have to call Donghae, I have no idea what I told him but it must have been really dumb. I hid my face in my hands and cried again. Suits me well!

When I was feeling less like a potato, I stood up to go to sleep. But then the doorbell rang and blood froze in my veins. I hope my intuition was wrong and it was only those high schoolers pranking me. The joke was even worse, though, it was Lee Donghae. He rang the bell again and I opened the door for him.

“Just kill me,” I said.

“I see you are sober,” he chuckled.

Hello! I´m so sorry, I forgot to update yesterday. :D honestly, it´s been a while since I had so much fun with your comments. Most of you chose one or the other side, some were accusing Donghae and some Hyukjae. I always try to make them equally guilty so I was happy that you reacted the way you did. Thank you a lot for that, it´s really interesting! A bit gentler chapter is about to come so I´m thinking of updating faster for it to be around the Chritmas Day. I wrote a Faust inspired story not long ago too, you can check it out. Or there are many supernatural stories I wrote that could help you if you are bored during the Christmas break. Thank you for reading and have a don´t catch a cold! - PandaHero