Calm down, calm down, this isn´t happening, is it? I tried to lie to myself. It was Sunday evening and I was pacing through the living room. This has never happened to me, I have never failed to keep my world of monsters to myself. But I made too many mistakes and met the wrong person, I couldn´t get rid of this ultimate fright growing inside of me and eating me up alive. Drop-Face was perfectly amused, sitting on the ceiling and clapping his hands with his face on his palm. The noise produced in such a disgusting way sounded like a slap and gurgling mixed together. The was far from the music I loved to hear.

Knock, knock and then the doorbell. My body stiffened. Maybe I shouldn´t open the door, I could pretend that nobody´s at home. Did he see the light in my window when he was coming? Did I make any sound? The only sound in the room was the slap-gurgling that only I could hear. Alright, no more  stalling. I will just open the door and ask him to let me live.

“Hello,” I said dejectedly when I forced myself to go and open the door.

“Hey, Hyukjae,” Donghae chirped, “I brought fried chicken!” He raised up a plastic bag he was holding.

“Thanks,” I just said and watched the actor stride into my place as if he owned it. I closed the door and Drop-Face slap-gurgled.

When I came to the living room, Donghae was almost done with setting up the chicken on the coffee table. I went to the kitchen for cider but then I got an idea and grabbed two bottles of soju too. If I´m lucky enough, Donghae will pass out before he manages to ask me about my monsters. And if I end up spilling the beans after all, the plan B is to make Donghae so drunk that he forgets about this whole evening. I put everything on the coffee table.

“Manager has a blind date today,” Donghae began with a grin.

“Really?” I chuckled. “I hope he´s lucky this time.”

“Even if she´s not the right one, it must be nice going on a date like that,” Donghae whined and took the glass with cider I handed him.

“You´re right, I don´t remember the last time I had a date,” I hummed. But there was a quite recent memory of a woman in my bedroom, of course I didn´t mention that. “You weren´t on any date nowadays?” I tried quickly to shift the topic from myself.

“Of course not,” Donghae rolled his eyes. “I´m a gay celebrity, do you know how hard it is to find a boyfriend for me? Besides,” he stopped talking and turned to the quietly playing TV.

“Besides what?” I asked, it was interesting, Donghae´s love life I mean.

“So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?” When he turned back to me, the topic drastically changed against my favour. It was too sudden and I just closed my mouth.

“You look like a deer in the headlights,” Donghae chuckled and took a cup of soju that I strategically placed in front of him. “It makes me wonder if you haven´t killed a person or something.” It was just a joke but in no way it lifted up my mood.

“No, I haven´t,” I sighed. “Donghae, I think you should settle at the fact that I´m sick or weird. There´s no need to explain anything, just sometimes I talk to myself or get annoyed for no reason.”

“Why do you do that?” I didn´t know if Donghae was being stubborn or silly but it was obvious that the subject wasn´t dropped. I poured myself a glass of soju, emptying it right away.

“You wouldn´t believe me even if I told you the truth,” I said and scanned the living room with my eyes. Drop-Face was the only monster in the room, slap-gurgling from the place behind the TV. It would be perhaps easier if Donghae had a monster like everybody else, I could explain to him what monsters usually do to people and he could sympathize. Right now I didn´t have any idea how to even start. I was giving up slowly, deciding on making myself a madman. It was easier than telling the truth because the result would be the same. There was no way Donghae would possibly believe me.

“Try it,” Donghae smiled at me and encouragingly poured us both another cup of soju. But I noticed that he didn´t drink it, he sipped from the cider instead. Donghae´s sobriety was scaring me.

“Whatever,” I mumbled and leaned into the sofa. Drop-Face got alerted and quieted down, he was excited to see me humiliated. Lee Donghae was at the moment a very close friend to me, it was obvious that I didn´t want to lose this new friendship. “You can think what you want about me, I warned you.”

“Hyukjae, it´s okay,” somehow he began feeling guilty for pushing me into a talk that I hated. Anyway, I began speaking.

“I don´t know when it began, it must have been long ago. I even think that I had it since I was born because there isn´t a day when I wouldn´t see them,” I gulped dryly but stayed fixed on the sofa. “There aren´t many proofs about them, sometimes I have a hard time ensuring myself that I´m sane, but they have to exist. I don´t know what they mean, I keep only guessing, but it can´t be anything good.”

“Hyukjae?” Donghae whispered. “Who are you talking about?”

“Monsters, Donghae,” I said plainly, “black, messy and disgusting monsters.”

It was quiet after that. Drop-Face crawled from behind the TV and his face moved from his palm on the rightful place where a face should be. I hated it, he looked much scarier, I closed my eyes. Donghae was also silent, only the low sound of the TV was heard in the room.

“So, you are saying that you see these,” Donghae cleared his throat, “things?” I opened my eyes to peek at him, he didn´t look convinced but he seemed to be trying to understand.

“Mm,” I muttered. Donghae nodded, as if my humming was enough for him to understand.

“I didn´t expect that at all,” he admitted, “but it wouldn´t be right from me if I didn´t try to get you. Um, is there any monster in here?” He looked nervously around and I felt funny. As if I was only telling him a scary story and not the nightmare of my life. It didn´t matter, though, because Donghae was listening.

“Strangely there´s only one, although there should be two of them,” I said easily and bent forward to reach for my glass of soju. “Usually, every person has a monster. It´s really disgusting when I´m in a crowded places because there as many monsters as there are humans.”

“It works like that? Then you can´t see your own monster?” Donghae surprisingly really gave it his all. I couldn´t be more shocked, did he really believe me? I decided to skip the tough topic of Donghae´s non-existing monster and rather speak about something I would never believe I could. Drop-Face was confused.

“I can see him, he´s ugly. Black and disgusting, he often makes noise and especially loves to laugh,” I chuckled and Donghae smiled, “you know, his face doesn´t just stay at one place, it moves around! I call him Drop-Face.”

“That´s terrible,” Donghae then laughed aloud and that did it. My head felt so light, the smile refused to leave my face, I said it. Not even in my wildest dreams I would expect this outcome tonight. The best outcome ever.

But Drop-Face was pissed, I went overboard.

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