He was never unsure of his uality. Never, until Jongwoon. He didn't know what it was with him exactly but he just tugged his heart in all the right ways. It wasn't love nor attraction at first sight. They were acquaintances at first who later needed to work together because he was cast as the main lead in a musicale. Jongwoon was cast for a minor character but was assigned additionally to help him regarding his singing lines.

It was in their bi-weekly meeting, just the two of them, when Siwon slowly fell for Jongwoon. The latter didn't lead him on or anything. As far as he knew, Jongwoon treated him as a friend. He did too at first and tried hard to make it stay that way. But after the show ended, he found himself wanting to be with him. It was difficult though because they aren't classmates. They aren't even in the same year level. And they are not in the same club as well. How would he be able to continue meeting him, he wondered for a long while.

That was why he continued to talk to him, but only through mobile. At the beginning, he was telling himself that he just liked Jongwoon's company. He has an amazing personality.

In all his past relationships, the problem was always the girl wanting more attention from him. He was not the type of guy who texts and calls everyday. But when he wanted to, he can be the sweetest. With Jongwoon however, he really tried to amke it a point that he communicates with him. It's only through the phone that they can talk after all.

Whenever they see each other in the campus, they'll exchange hi's and hello's. But later, the set-up was not enough for Siwon anymore. He wanted to talk to himin person. And so he asked for them to meet during a certain weekend. He told himself that it was just hanging out with a friend. After that however, he knew that his feelings was not 'as friends' only anymore. It was difficult to hide the emotions he held strongly for the other guy. But what made everything more complicated was the thought that he still is attracted to women. Does liking Jongwoon, not just simply as friend, made him gay? He probably is, he thought. But that scared him. He was part of a prominent family of business and politics. He knew that this can result to more than just mere disappointment from his family, especially his dad.

But he kept on meeting Jongwoon anyway.

Later he knew that Jongwoon knows for himself that he was gay. But he never had any relationship because his brother was overprotected of him, scaring anybody who tries to get close to him with romantic purposes.

After a few more dates (as he already cannot deny it from himself), he confessed to Jongwoon in person. It was definitely one of the happiest moments of his life when Jongwoon reacted positively. However, the worry and the possible risks still hung over his head. That same time, he asked Jongwoon to not tell anybody first. He saw disappointment flashing in Jongwoon's pretty face but it was changed to understanding just as quickly. He said that he understands his situation. And that was another reason for Siwon to like Jongwoon more.

Jongwoon said that he knows how difficult must it be for him as everybody believes that he is a straight man. Truly, Siwon was never attracted to any guy. Jongwoon was an exception. Jongwoon assures him that he'll keep their relationship to themselves first until Siwon can finally sort it out for himself and be ready to tell others.

It was definitely difficult for him to probably get judgment from the society, but most especially from his family. He was thankful that Jongwoon understood.

Their first few months together was special. He made efforts to make Jongwoon happy, he made sure of that. But it was when another school year came in and he had to go abroad for his modelling contracts. His father has approved of him doing modelling before he becomes ready to take over their company. He liked doing it too. But he didn't realize that it would take a toll in his relationship with Jongwoon.

He was beginning to go back to his habit of not being able to communicate everyday. Personally, he doesn't think that it's needed. As long as you know of how you stand with each other, and that you trust each other, everyday chats and calls weren't important. At least for him. That was the reason why girls break up with him before. And when he was in Europe, he didn't realize that he was doing it all over again to Jongwoon.

That moment when Jongwoon told him that he "cannot do it anymore", he was devastated. It was accompanied by Jongwoon not replying to him and not answering his calls. He realized how it it felt to be on the other side. He was taking it for granted because whenever he wanted to talk to Jongwoon, Jongwoon was always there. He didn't realize that whenever Jongwoon wanted to talk to him though, he was not always there.

He cannot concetrate on his work anymore and his manager saw through him. He told him that he cannot continue with the remaining schedule and he has to go back home. It ended with him breaking contract with one establishment. His father had to intervene to help him. He was scolded by his father when he came home but it fell on deaf ears. That Saturday, he knew where he wanted to go and who he wanted to see.

Jongwoon cannot end it with him. He's in love, and he cannot disregard that anymore.

End of CH

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There will be a Sungmin-POV too, around CH 32-ish LOL
Just saying... This won't be limited to Jongwoonie and Kyukyu ^^

- TMFG