ლ Taeyeon ლ

                         "Aishhh! " I sigh expireratedly as I slump on the couch,I was so tired physically and emotionally. I don't what I will do anymore? Why did he have to appear and confess all of a sudden? Why did he have to confused me?

                     Truth is, I was happy he feels the same way as I realize I'm in love with him! But everything feels so surreal that it scares me! What if he was just playing with me? What if he only wants to get into my pants once again? What if he just wanted me to be his toy? Or be a replacement of his ex-girlfriend?

                    "Urghh!" There's so many possibilities running through my mind and I wanted it to stop! I don't know what I should do anymore? Should I just hide from him like I was doing now and make sure he'll never find me again? Or I'll just go with the flow and accept him? Either way, I know the outcome would only hurt me in some ways!

                 "Because I love you!" Jiyong answered as I look at him with frustration.

                 "What?" I ask ,shock! Thinking that my ears was just playing tricks on me.

                "I love you!" He answer, repeating what he had said earlier before he pull my body closer to him. "No! Let me rephrase it baby." He push me lightly,holding both of my shoulder and look at me in the eye. "I'm in love with you Kim Taeyeon! "

                 I was stunned and flustered that I just stared at him in shock and disbelief. He can't be serious, right? "You can't be serious!"

                "I never been this serious in my entire life!" He sounded serious and looks sincere but I don't want to be easily fool by that.

                 "You're just playing with me!" I push him, if I stay longer from his hold; I might crumble and might let my feelings gets the best of me. I can't let it happen!

                 "No! Why would I do that? I fallen so deep to be playing!" He looks frustrated already, making me believe what his saying was true! Was it? Is he really in love with me? I still have doubts, remembering how he left me after that night without saying goodbye. All he left was a piece of note and money, showing how low he thinks I was!

                   "In love huh? Is that why you left me that morning with a note and cash?" I didn't know I blurted my thoughts though I know It sounded like a scoff which I was really aiming for. He was stunned on the bitterness imminent in my voice and on my expression but I didn't bulge. He has to know that I wouldn't easily believe words that he would let out since the pain I felt that morning and how dirtied I felt for myself still lingers on my mind!

               "I was confused back then!"He suddenly yelled,breathing hard and I just stare at him confused! "Well, I was more than scared actually!" He mumble after his outburst, avoiding my eyes. " You scare me,this feelings scare me! I never felt this kind of feeling to anyone else and I got scared that I turn to run away! But guess the only way for me to do was face it and be happy that I finally found the one. The one girl I wanted to spend my whole life with. I'm in love with you Taeyeon, I was a fool for doing what I did that morning and I regret it so much but I would never regret meeting you!"

                 My heart was pounding with every words he let out and the wall I was trying to build start to  crumble down. Should I believe him? Is he really in love with me? As I let every words sink into my heart and mind, Jiyong continue looking at me with his eyes full of affection and love that it's already melting my heart but the doubt was still there. I can't just ignore it, I can't bear getting hurt and being left alone. I hate that feeling, being alone!

              When my parents both died in a car accident and left me with nothing and no one to lean on, I had wish I died with them but I learn to live on. I live on my own for five years now with no one by my side though few of my friends were there,it was still different. So, having Jiyong tells me he loves me, makes me scared and left me thinking of the worst.

                  Like, he was just blinded by lust and wants.

                 Like, if he really do love me. It wouldn't take long for him to get tired of me and end up leaving.

                 Like, something might happen that will make me end up alone again.

                 I don't want to gets my hopes up high,where it would hurts me bad once it falls.

                 "I need to think!" I ended up saying though I already made up my mind. I need to run away from this feelings and from him before I end up hurting.

                   Yes! I was a coward!

                   Who isn't?

                    Love is  a feeling that could make you feel elated,ecstatic, happy, and much more! But it could also brought tears and heartache which I don't ever wanna feel again. So the option of running away from it was more enticing than giving into it!

                Jiyong didn't look surprise as he heard me say those words rather than confessing my feelings for him as well, in fact; he looks calm and just quietly start the car after asking for direction which I gladly replied to.

                   The journey to our destination was quite since he didn't say anything or made an effort to start a conversation. I didn't want to talk either since I already said that I needed to think and so I drown myself on thinking and being quite.

                 Though I already made up my mind, I can't help but fantasize how much of a beautiful sight it could have been if I could spend the rest of my life with him. If I could end up marrying him, live with him in a not so big not so small two storey house near the beach, and have two or three children annoyingly making the house in a mess. I know it would be perfect but I could only fantasize about that