ლ Taeyeon ლ

             Heaving a deep sigh, I once again look at the stack of money I put on the envelope with the note from the stranger I met a month ago. The one I gave up my ity with on my slightly drunken state. 

               I look at the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was only five in the morning.  I still have two hours before my work start. 

                It has been a month already and I still have the money though I know I could have used it since I'm in need of it because  the job I got in the convenient store can't fully provide my daily living and I still  have to save up for my college education in the future. But of course I couldn't! If I used it, it's like I accept the judgement he wants to point out. That I am some kind of a paid or ,  which I'm  not! 

                  The humiliation and embarrassment I felt that morning still lingers in the inner part of my heart and it still brings the hurtful pinch everytime I think of it! 

                    Do I really look like a or to him? 

                    I know that he knows and he remember that he was my first! 

                   Up to this day, I still don't understand why I did the things I did that night! 

                    Why was I so weak back then?  

                     Why did I gave up my ity that recklessly? 

                     Why didn't I stop him when I know I could have if I haven't been so vulnerable?  

                    There's a lot of questions that keeps bugging me for the pass one month but I still got no definite answer for my reckless act! 

                     And it's really bugging the hell out of me! 

                      Gdragon!  

                      Jiyong!  

                      That name that's been able to  invade my mind almost everyday. Gosh!  What is happening to me? 

                      Is it because he was the first man in my life? 

                       He was my first in everything and I don't know if I could get over the fact that he was a total stranger to me? 

                        What was I thinking?  

                       I'm about to go crazy,on the serious note! 

                         Why? 

                          Because he didn't only invade my mind but my dreams too! I dreamt of him almost every night and that's really a bit disturbing!  Like seriously!  

                        I keep on dreaming about that night that I spend with him! 

                         His lips on mine! 

                         His lips in almost every part of my body! 

                         His hands worshipping every inch of my skin! 

                        His finger grazing and abusing my core! 

                         His teeth marking me in the most pleasurable way he could ever do! 

                         And trusting in and out of me in the most animaslistic way that he could! 

                       Those kisses! 

                        Those touches! 

                        Moans ,grunts, groans and scream of pleasure!  

                        Gosh! Am I going crazy?  And worst part of it was I found myself craving for him! 

                          Craving for those kisses ,touches and how he felt inside me! 

                          Yeah! I'm defini