I don’t think anybody will find me here, in the peaceful grassy meadow for they would be too busy enjoying the party to notice me being gone. That’s good, I think. Nobody needs a spoilsport in a party. I mean I don’t even understand why I was upset. I accepted this from the start, right? From the moment I saw Jessica’s hands wrapped around Donghae’s arm, I knew and accepted the fact that my chances were over, right? Yet, why am I here, sitting on the damp grass, drowning myself in my thoughts, bombarded by a hurricane of emotions while I was crying my eyes dry? If I accepted this, I should’ve accepted pain; I should’ve accepted loss. But that was not the case. I guess I was just another girl, crazy about this guy, willing to make herself a martyr just to have the slightest chance of being with him. But I was young, I was pathetic. I needed someone to teach me the ways of love, I needed someone to show me how to love, and most especially, I needed someone who’ll make me feel loved; somebody who was crazy for me as much as I was crazy for him. I needed that someone, I really did. But I always fear that that person only exists in the fragment of my imagination.

I stopped, suddenly alert. Something rustled the bushes beside me. So much for being inconspicuous, I would be spotted in no time. The bushes rustled again, followed by a whisper which beckoned my name. “Yoona,” the voice whispered, “are you here?” Hurriedly, I wiped my face immediately, erasing any tear marks that had formed after who knows how many minutes crying. “Yoona?” the voice called again. “It’s okay, whatever happened, It’s gonna be fine.” That was definitely Kyuhyun. Not only was the voice familiar, but so was the soothing method of approach. “Yeah,” I called, my voice still shaky, “S’okay, I’m here. I just needed some fresh air.”

Kyuhyun stepped in the view and to my surprise, so did Donghae. Why does he always show up when I’m in my worst condition? I thought, masking my surprise with an unreadable face.

“You’ve been crying.” Kyu put in. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a question.

I sighed, giving up. I’m such a bad liar anyway. “Yeah, I was.”

There came the inevitable question: “Why?”

“I have my reasons,” I said vaguely.

Kyuhyun took a careful step forward and instead of asking questions, he hugged me. “Shhh,” he crooned. “Everything’s gonna be alright Yoon. Everything’s gonna turn out fine.” I felt pathetic. I was treated like a child having a pointless tantrum. Do I really seem like one? If I was a child, Kyu was the grown-up. And he’s all the support I needed right now. “I need to go home,” I said, “things are just not working out here.” Even though confusion was vividly present in his face, Kyu offered no other touchy questions. “Would you like me to drive you home?” he offered.

“No, I don’t want to ruin your party. I can get a ride from the main street. Besides,” I smiled, “it’s a waste of gasoline.”

Kyuhyun seemed unsure, “I don’t know Yoon. I promised your mother I’d let nothing happen to you.”

I stared. My mom. It figures, it wasn’t the first time she did such a thing – asking people to take care of me. I smiled, though it was half-hearted. “It’s okay. I can take care of myself. Besides, you’re not my keeper.”

Kyuhyun hesitated, scratching his head. “I dunno about this, Yoon.”

I was about to reassure him, before Donghae cut in and said, “I don’t mind. I can drive you home and get back to the party before you know it.”

I replied almost indignantly. “Heh, if said no to Kyu, what makes you think I’ll say yes to you? Besides, didn’t you hear me? It’s a waste of gasoline.”

I strode off immediately. That took part of my anger out. But that was only part of it.