I could feel the insatiable venom of farewell sting my overall being after I let go of Yoona’s hand. This is it. A voice in my head said. Acquaintance, friendship, accident, drama then damage – my life had just taken a turn into memory lane. It was like a movie; having reached the conflict, this is the turning point in my life – the decision that would change my life for good. This would start by detaching myself from the people who care for me. I need to be independent. I need to live this world even if I was deprived by my senses.

Kyuhyun led me to the front seat of the car, guiding me with slow yet careful steps. I commend him of his patience towards me. He assisted me in getting inside the car, setting aside my crutches while he supported my weight with both of his arms. I mumbled a “thank you” as soon as I was sitting comfortably in the passenger seat.

“You’re welcome.” Kyu said. “Wish you the best of luck, my friend. This would be a tough mountain to climb.”

I chuckled. “Ain’t no mountain high enough; ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough,” I quoted, smiling at the direction of his voice.

He laughed and gave me a reassuring shake in the shoulder. “I know you’ll make it. You’ve always been a tough nut to crack.”

I laughed together with him and added, “Even the hardest of stones crack when they’ve reached their limits.” I shrugged. “But thanks, I’ll try to stay alive, for your sake.”

It felt like Kyuhyun wanted to say more, but my mom’s voice cut into my senses:

“That’s the last of our stuff. We’re ready to go, Donghae.”

I could hear the shuffling of feet and the click of my mother’s Stilettos. Before he left, Kyuhyun gave me a brotherly hug and wished me the best of luck. I tried to fix a smile upon my face to conceal my hidden emotions and return the gesture to him. The car engine revved, and I said my last words of goodbye to Kyu and Yoona, promising that I would return. My mother alighted from the car to lock the gates and when she got back, I knew there was no turning back. Waving goodbye, I felt the car lurch into the night.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

     I watched helplessly as Donghae’s car disappeared from the view. At that moment, I couldn’t get rid of the throbbing ache which pounded furiously in my chest. He was gone. He was gone and there’s nothing I could do about it. It was silent – neither Kyuhyun nor I said a word in a while. All we did was stare at the spot where the car vanished moments ago, still in denial that Donghae was gone and wasn’t coming back. I was sick of the feeling of sour grapes; I was sick of the idea of despair.

“I want to go home,” I said, my eyes still affixed to the now empty street in front of us.

“Me too,” Kyuhyun agreed, doing the same thing I was doing. Slowly, he averted his eyes from the street and faced me. “Let’s go.”

We walked back to the mouth of subdivision, the place where we parked Kyu’s convertible. We thanked the guards for watching over it when we were gone and they returned the greeting graciously. Stepping inside the car, I waited for Kyu to get inside the driver’s seat.

I sighed, slumping into the comfy back seat. “He’s really gone,” I said when Kyu came in.

“Yes, he is. And we might as well live with it,” Kyu replied monotonously.

“I guess we should,” I replied.

Without further words, Kyu started the engine and started to drive away from the one place that still has Donghae’s aura emanating from it – his house.

Kyuhyun opened the top of his convertible to let the wind freely whip our face as we drove home. Seoul’s city lights were as dazzling as ever, but I shed a tear remembering that Donghae will never see them again.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

     The trip towards Incheon was brutal; mostly because I couldn’t see the way to said place. The only constant reminder I have, which prompted me that we were moving away from Seoul, was the fact that the car was moving. That sensation itself was assurance enough there wasn’t any turning back. Should I be happy about this? Am I comfortable about leaving everyone I know behind? Deep inside my heart, I knew the answer was no, but I also knew that what I was doing was the best for me. It would be foolish to go back to a school which you cannot see. It would be foolish to learn the lessons that were taught via visual aid. And it would be stupid to think of the mere idea of turning back. Call me stupid, idiotic, or stubborn, I didn’t care. Seoul was my home. My thoughts, my memories, my joys and even my biggest sorrows happened in that city. It’s hard to let go of something you’ve grown fond of; which leads to the bigger problem. Im Yoona, that girl – lanky and clumsy as she was, she had the heart of a true person. She cares unconditionally, she worries when someone is hurt, she blames herself for an accident I partially caused, and she even went back to see me for the last time. Deny all I want, but I know that I have grown fond of her. Even with the short time we’ve spent together, I think I’ve fallen for her; because even if I was blind, she didn’t care. All she cared about was that I was alive, and still have a spark of a better life waiting to be ignited.

I sighed; I need to go to sleep. That gave me a slight feeling of relief because it was only in dreaming wherein I was able to see again. And hopefully, I would see the girl who I want to be the mother of my children.