Eunhae stared at the cassette tape that she was holding. Mrs. Park gave it to her just before she and her family left the cemetery. The woman said something about seeing it at Chanyeol’s bedroom along with other tapes inside a small box. She wondered if it was the tape of their special song yet seeing her name scribbled on it, she thought otherwise.

She approached the table where the television was located and opened its drawer to retrieve her handy cassette player which was given to her and Inna by one of their uncles a few years ago.

“Eunhae?” Mrs. Lee stood by the doorway of the living room.

The girl stood up. “Yes?”

“Courage, alright?” It sounded as a statement more than a question. She saw how Eunhae’s eyes were swollen and how flushed her face were because of crying.

“I know.” Eunhae managed to smile despite the pain in her chest. “I’ll be alright.”

“I know you will.”

Then, Mrs. Lee gave her daughter an embrace, for she knew that there’s a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heaven. A time to weep and a time to laugh.

~:~

After plugging in her earphones, Eunhae laid herself on the bed as she studied the buttons after putting in the cassette tape. Then, she hit the play button.

At first, she only heard rumbling sounds but after a few seconds, she heard his voice. Eunhae suddenly pulled herself together and sat on her bed as a hand of hers covered . She realized that it was indeed a cassette tape for her, because it contained Chanyeol’s recorded a message for her.

As she felt the rapid beat of her heart, Eunhae cleared and listened to his familiar silvery voice that she already missed. Listening to it, Eunhae felt as if Chanyeol was in front of her. She could imagine the way his eyes spark whenever he talks and his signature grin that he always plasters on his face. Eunhae felt as if he were there, talking to her…loving her.

~:~

Cassette tape:

*coughs* *breathes*…Lee Eunhae…hello, love…sorry if I’m bad at this…I wanted to make you a letter but paper and ink would fail to contain my thoughts toward you…so instead, here’s a recorded message for you…Thank God for cassette tapes. *chuckles*

Okay, here it goes. *breathes* According to one of my favorite books, every life has a one true-love snapshot. *silence* Well, I think I just had mine. It came to me today actually…it was during your final performance for the Grand ballet recital a while ago. *chuckles* Geez, if you’re here right now, you’d probably see my smile reaching my ears. *chuckles* You were the fifth one on the first row of the line and right after you finished your performance, we clapped. *coughs* *sighs* You’re so great that time, love. Really…and just before the curtains closed, you looked at me.

You knew where I was amidst the audience.

That was the snapshot, love. *silence* *breathes*

Until now, I still remember it clearly…your hair was tied up into a bun and you looked wonderful in your white costume. The smile that makes me fall for you over and over again was plastered on your face…and there you were, looking at me…smiling at me…*silence*…*sighs* that snapshot’s enough to give me a burst of love as if I’ve witnessed hundreds of fireworks booming in the sky…yeah, I guess I won’t be able to forget that snapshot at all….*chuckles*…*silence*

Today is so beautiful you know…actually all the days I’ve spent with you are beautiful…*chuckles*

At the restaurant, while our family exchanged conversation, I realized something…*silence*

That life is a paradox…there’s laughter along with tears, joy along with sorrow…there’s pain, despair, hope…you get what I mean…Yet despite the contradiction, they fit each other perfectly. Like a puzzle…no matter what they look like, good or bad, they’re a part of something great—a wonderful purpose. *chuckles* *coughs*

I’ve realized that I don’t need to turn the world upside down just to search for beauty as if it’s a thing that can only be found in some places…because life itself is beautiful and love is the one that enables us to see it. *chuckles* *silence*

I love you, Eunhae. I love everything about you…and when I mean everything, it also includes the scars on your feet, your tears, your weaknesses and your flaws…alright?

You know, you indeed taught me to dance…*chuckles*…not just to dance literally…but you also taught my heart to dance despite the inevitability of death and prowls of fear. *silence* I learned to dance, love. *chuckles* I learned to dance even though the hourglass of my life was about to be emptied of its sand…*silence*

Thank you , love…for stepping out of the boat to walk on water with me…you are the greatest gift that I’ve ever received…I love you, Lee Eunhae, my dearest, my love, my baby, my darling…know that my love for you will remain, alright? For love remains…*chuckles*

And also, you kept on saying to me how lucky you are to have me in your life…*silence*

No, love…I am the lucky one.

"I am in love, and out of it I will not go." --C.S. Lewis