CHAPTER TWELVE

-+- DARA -+-

My hands kept fidgeting as I've waited in the kitchen. I drank the water from the glass I took and shakily placed it on the sink. I walked towards the living room and ended up looking at my bag on the couch, my stuff that I brought the day I ran away from Hae. I can't help but feel nervous, I don't know how to act around him. I am not sure how to act around him. I've packed everything that I've brought into Bom's house and I'm just waiting for him to pick me up. After talking to Hae that night, we've decided that he will pick me up today instead of coming with him that night back to the house.

I'm still torn on which way will be better. If one, I should have returned home that night and get it over with. Or two, staying more in Bom's house and let him pick me up afterwards which I have chosen. Both have disadvantages and advantages. The first option would be less nerve wrecking since the mood is there, and it will just be continuous flow, but I haven't collected my thoughts yet, I mean, what if I'm moving too fast. Maybe... Something more could happen... Aigoo, my erted mind. The second option was more nerve wrecking but I have definitely collected my thoughts well. Or that's what I thought.

My mind is filled with what happened that night until this day and I still can't find any logical reason for me to come back home. Yes, there's a reason, but it's not logical. Not that logical I believe. I've tried to run the events again and again inside my mind and even taking into account the order it happened. That time it just really felt right to give in to what he has asked me, to agree to come back home. The mood forced me to act the way I've acted. Thinking about it now again, it's really doesn't seem logical. I mean, the more I think about it, one could say I was just riding the flow very well. Like really well.

"What are you thinking again?" Bom snapped me out of my reverie. And I turn my gaze towards her. "You always have that look on your face since that night." She teased me.

"I just... I don't know... It's just so---" I can't make a proper sentence on how I can explain how I felt or what I have been thinking about.

"Pathetic." Bom interrupted me and sat in front of me. "Yes, it is pathetic. Definitely pathetic."

"Oh come on." I pouted at her. This is how our friendship is, we speak our minds and say it straightforwardly. It's nice actually, as we don't have to be afraid if the other one will understand or not. But for us, we understand each other even harsh words are spoken. Well, 'pathetic' isn't really that harsh, but one will feel upset if somebody calls you that, but for me, I understand very well why she uses such term.

"What? It's true. I can't believe... I mean... It's just.... Aist! Let's not discuss it anymore, especially now that in a few minutes, he'll be here to pick you up. It's nonsense to talk about it since it has been decided already." She answered me.

"Is it really pathetic?" I've asked her.

She nodded. "Yes, but I can't blame you. I can't blame you if you've been swept away off your feet when he just smiled at you and you just agreed to come back home."

I sighed. It's true. After I have told him I love him, his face just suddenly lit up and smiled widely at me. Then he pulled me into embrace and patted my head and asked me: 'Let's go?' And like a love sick puppy, I just nodded my head. We were in this imaginary bubble of happiness. Then on our way to Bom's house, he told me, after thinking about it, maybe it is better if I spend the night in Bom's house to let me bond with my best friend more or one last time. Then he'll just pick me up the next day and just proving how love sick puppy that I am, I again, nodded in agreement.  I have nodded by damn head with a wide smile. And that's it. This day came when I'm going to see my husband again. I shook my head to how foolish I have acted and how I looked that time.

Bom's right, I have been swept away with just a sweet smile. He seldom smile, especially when he is with me. I felt like a high school girl again, vain and young, gullible and hopeful. Aisshhh...

But then, his face flashed back. I smiled just thinking how happy he was when I told him I love him. He was indeed happy to hear it. Suddenly, I felt something hit my head. I looked at Bom and she rolled her eyes on me. "Gosh. I can't believe after one and one smile you've become like that!"

"What?! Like what?"  I've asked her.  "And please... it was actually a hot ... very hot." I blushed just hearing myself speak the word ''.

"Okay! A VEEEERRYYY HHOOOOTTT SEEEXXXXX... No wonder a lot of women dreams of your husband, maybe we should tell them how hot it is so they could melt in envy." She replied.

"Should we?" I grinned at Bom and she rolled her eyes on me.

"Urrrhgghh... Anyway, just make your marriage work arasso?" She beamed on me.

"Yes, ma'am." I smiled at her.

She leaned forward and looked at me intently. "I know Darong that you love him, but don't lose yourself in the process okay? Especially when he has not cleared how he feels for you... I don't want to raise any suspicion or doubt, I just don't want you to get hurt. Because he might love you and he just can't find the right words. I dunno. But you haven't talked about his feeling right? He didn't tell you anything?"

I shook my head. "No, just like what I told you, he just embraced me and told me he is really happy."

Bom nodded her head. "Well, it looks good, especially when he is never happy right?" I nodded. "Maybe he is going to work hard removing the Civil Engineer in his heart, maybe he's going to work hard to make your marriage work this time. I know he will. Or better he was just shy to tell you he loves you too. You know, the ego of men... Anyway, if you ever needed to escape again, you know I'm just here right?"

"I don't want to escape again." I pouted at her. I don't want this to happen again, I wanted 'us' to work out and I'm going to try harder for things to work out between us.

"I know and I wish you'll never try to escape again. Not that I don't want you here, it's just better if you don't have the need to escape again... You get what I mean right?"

I smiled at my best friend, she was on the verge of tears. "Gosh Bommie!" I walked towards her and hugged her. "Sarangheyo and thank you so much for everything."

"I'm going to miss you." She whispered.

"I'm going to miss you too, but why are