He's thankful he has a friend like Namjoon, or he would've spiralled down into the pits of hell.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," He says as he settles his bag down.

"Thank god it's almost holidays soon; you don't have to skip that many classes this way" Namjoon pats his back as he opens the door to the small bedroom.

The apartment wasn't spacious per se, but it was enough for Yoongi's stay.

"So, what happened? Did you see him?"

Yoongi chokes.

"Yeah," He notices his voice qaver, and tries to keep it steady enough. "He's... fine, for now. Just has to--"

The next minute, he is bawling out like a little kid, and is embarrassed by it, but can't stop anyway. He thanks god that it's only Namjoon, though, for he had seen Yoongi at his best and at his worst.

"And it's all because of me!" He doesn't really care about what he is sputtering anymore. He feels drunk; drunk with the guilt bottled up inside him for days. Ever since he saw Park Jimin, his 'Chim' on a bed, unmoving and unresponsive to any of his words.

He wishes he were there instead.

"I guess it's time I tell you about myself," Yoongi takes a deep breath, shudders as he lets it out and squeezes his palm to keep himself calm. "I'm Yoongi, as I already wrote in the letters. 23, studying Music and producing in Daegu"

He wishes their first conversation wasn't this one-sided.

"Can you even hear me? I hope you do," He lets a tear slip down his face, hands habitually reaching out for his. There was no acknowledgement from him, but it felt nice to have his soft hands in his own.

"The doctor said to keep talking to you, but... I'm the most boring person out of everyone you've ever met, right?"

He feels so damn pathetic right now. But deep down him, a sliver of hope glimmers, and that keeps him going.

"Jimin! I'm back!" Yoongi almost falls down at the sudden entrance of a new person, and who the is he?

"Sorry, that's Jimin hyung's best friend; we're all in our school's soccer team" Jeongguk fills in helpfully.

He nods, watching Taehyung go on and on about everything that had happened that day, not looking like he's bothering about Jimin responding to him.

If Yoongi thought he himself was pathetic, Taehyung must be beyond that.

"He's just... jovial. He's like a complete opposite of Jimin hyung, but they're close freinds" Jungkook smiles at Taehyung when he finally pauses and looks at Yoongi (or finally notices his presence).

"Do I know you? Does Jimin know you?"

I wish he did.

"He's the Yoongi Jimin hyung always talks about"

"Oh, the letter guy!" Taehyung exclaims and stretches his hand out. "I'm sorry, I should've introduced myself first. I'm Jimin's best friend!"

"I'm... Yoongi. Min Yoongi"

"You look older than Jimin, though. Do you attend college?"

"Yeah, I'm a second year student"

"Lately, all Jimin did was talk about you and your letters! He would always be ecstatic when he gets a letter from you and we both read it out together; sometimes Kookie would join in too"

Yoongi nods and hums in all the right places, because he isn't that much of a talker. He had gotten used to listening that it just became a habit. He had only listened to Jimin anyway.

"Jimin, you better get up soon! Your 'Yoongi' has exclusively come to talk to you and you really don't like disappointing people, right? So get up!" Taehyung jumps happily, hugging Jimin (or just leaning on top of him carefully) for the last time before leaving for his house.

What Yoongi didn't see was a lone tear that slipped down his face when he left.

"You... You have really good friends, Jimin-ah" Yoongi continues his awkward one-sided conversation. "They say people hear when they're in a coma. Can you? Because I can bring you my songs if you want to listen to them..."

He feels so damn embarrassed, but he just doesn't want to care about it right now.

He is almost sure that Taehyung doesn't like him.

Sure, the boy talks to him with a wide smile, but Yoongi knows to see through it. He didn't particularly enjoy seeing the guy being there whenever he came back from school, rushing as fast as possible to see Jimin. He was lonely without his best friends nagging him every now and then, even if it was about Yoongi for the past few months.

Yoongi is just waiting for Taehyung to snap at him someday soon. The sooner the better, because he feels too guilty and no one is even blaming him for this. It was because of Jimin wanting to post a letter to him that had him ended up in a bed like this, unaware of the world around. It was because Jimin started posting letters to him that had him stay here. 

It was all because of him, and him alone, but no one would say that. And he feels a bit too burdened because he's starting to feel less guilty about what happened, and it's hitting his conscience.

"Jimin-- Oh, you're here" He tries to force a smile at Taehyung, clutching one of the letters in his hand. 

He had took to talking about each letter Jimin had sent to him, about the time he received it, how he felt while holding it in his hands, just everything.

It's strangely silent, Yoongi notices as he looks at Taehyung.

Taehyung is someone who loves talking, let it be about anything; Yoongi had took a note of this from one of Jimin's letters, and from seeing it in real, he figured that out. However, it was strange seeing him not talk.

"I-I'm sorry; should I leave?" He asks, grabbing his bag and is slightly surprised when Taehyung actually nods to it.

"The sooner the better," Taehyung says (rather unintentionally, because the anger is clouding his senses), looking at Jimin than anything else. From his peripheral vision, he sees Yoongi gather up his bag and walk out, and lets out a breath he didn't realize he held in for so long.

"School was... boring without you, Jiminie, I don't even want to take notes of any class because you would do that for me,but you always say I'm smart and . You know I always sleep during History..." He chokes on something, the words struggling to come out. "You know I'm bad at everything. But why... why aren't you waking up? Why won't you take notes for me, you idiot?"

He cries in his own solitude for a while, the incessant beeps being the only sound beside his own choked and broken sobs. He then feels an arm snake sorund his shoulder and yanks away, looking up at who it was again.

"I-I'm really sorry; you just looked so--"

"So what?" He cries out. "Can you just please leave him alone? You're the reason he's like this! I didn't even want to talk to you but you're just there all the ing time and it's annoying! He's my friend, not yours! You're just a random stranger whose address he found out from god knows where and took up to writing those stupid letters which just led him to this condition! Can you just leave, for 's sake?!"

There. That was exactly what Yoongi needed. "I'm... sorry" He whispers and scurries outside, everything suddenly closing in on him. He felt like he was trapped within a wall of guilt, slowly cornering him to a side and taunting him. 

It was swallowing him, and he let it.

"Oh! You're back! I was just about to ask some help on the hook-- Yoongi?" He hears Namjoon turning around to him from the computer screen, but doesn't know how to reply. He feels like he had forgotten everything that's human enough except crying. Yeah. That's the only thing he can do, and the thing he wants to do right now.

"Yoongi, are you fine? Is everything okay?"

"No, it isn't," 

He isn't the person to out his burden on someone else's mind, but he just couldn't take it anymore. Someone finally voiced it out that he was the reason for everything, and he feels relieved but he also felt a whole lot guiltier.

"Come on, how long would you cry?" Namjoon pushes his shoulder. "You need to make a decision. You do know there's only a few days left before holidays end, right? And you need to find a job too"

Yoongi nods, but he isn't sure about anything anymore. Should I stay here? Should I not?

"It's been a month," Jeongguk looks up at the doctor's distressed face. "And he isn't responding well to the treatments"

"What do you mean?" Jimin's Mother asks.

"I mean, he's well, his injuries have all healed, but... he isn't waking up when he should" The doctor answers, sighing. "We're trying our best, Mrs. Park, but there's only so much--"

"What do you mean you can't do anything?" Jeongguk asks. "You're a doctor, you must know what to do. Make him wake up!"

"I understand your distress, but I'm helpless in this. He's healthy, that much I can tell you, but it's upto him to wake up"

"No, you're not saying that. How are you a doctor?" He lunges at the guy across the table. "You were the one who said he'd wake up soon; make him do it! What is the problem in that?"

"Jeongguk, sit down..." Jimin's Mother pulls him back, but he pushes the chair back harshly, letting it topple over. "Jeongguk!"

He doesn't listen to her or to the doctor; just walks out and marches straight to Jimin's room.

"Park Jimin; Yah Park Jimin! I'm calling you informally, shouldn't you be angry?" He asks, looking at Jimin's motionless figure atop the bed, the oxygen mask fogging up with his breaths. "Do you know how much you missed? Yoongi came to see you, our team won the Interschool match even without their best guard and best shooter, you even missed my birthday! Come on, get up and make up for all the you missed!" He yells blindly.

"Kookie, stop it," He turns around and finds Taehyung at the door, looking forlorn and stressed. "Accept it; he isn't waking up any soon"

"How-- How can you?" He asks in disbelief. "You were the one who believed in it!"

"And I was stupid, okay? I was an idiot to think by some ing miracle he'd wake up! That he'd come past all these stupid machines and look at me, telling I'm an idiot for worrying too much!" Taehyung yells back. "I'm tired, Jeongguk."

"But-- But--" He stammers over his words. "I hate you; everyone, I hate you all!"

He sits on the chair, looking right at Jimin's face. "They're all stupid, Jimin. Yah, I'm still talking informally and you won't wake up?"

Silence replies to him.

"You're leaving?" Namjoon asks, looking at Yoongi fumble around the room, searching for something. "When Jimin hasn't got up yet?"

"I have a life, Namjoon, and college." It'll be better if I leave, goes dead at the tip of his tongue. 

"That's selfish and so not like you" Namjoon points out. "You bunked classes to produce all day, so don't act like you're suddenly wanting to attend classes"

"I need to graduate and get a degree, even if I don't like classes"

"Okay, fine, at least go see him once before you leave? There's still a chance"

Yoongi sighs. Does he really have to, with everyone related to Jimin hating him?

"Just once; you might not know this kid personally, but he considered you as a nice person"

He lets himself ponder on the tought for a while. "Okay, fine. One last time"

That is how Yoongi finds himself standing outside Jimin's room in the hospital, the name glowering back at him and his luggage.

"You're leaving?" Jimin's Mother asks, and he nods awkwardly. She doesn't give any reply, just nods back and says "I'm glad you came to see him"

Inside, Jeongguk was fast asleep, holding Jimin's hand, despite the uncomfortable position. It was still really early in the morning, so there was no sign of Taehyung, Not like he wanted to see him anyway, the boy hates him with a passion.

Jeongguk, on the other hand, sleeps with a frown on his face, red cheeks and puffy eyes, the sound of breathing despite the noseblock giving away that he was crying.

"Chim," He starts, careful not to wake Jeongguk up. "I've never called you that, but you said that was your name in all the letters"

Jeongguk rustles awake, looking surprised and confused for a moment before Yoongi pushes him back to sleep.

"So, I'm leaving," He lets his shoulders drop. "I don't think me being here is going to help anyone; you'd hate me so much, right? For making you get into that crash?"

No, he'd hear from the still air around him. Yes, his inner self told him.

"That-That's why I'm leaving. I hope you get well soon, Jimin. And... I'll just leave the letters here"

He keeps the letters in his hands, a last grip on it. "Don't send me letters again,"

And he freezes.

There is was, a weak, barely felt grip on his hand, but it was there. He could see the boy's eyes roll under his eyelids, almost afraid to open and look before him.

He wants to call someone, even Jeongguk, but his throat feels like it's stuck to the sides. He can't even breathe.

In his peripheral vision, he could see Jeongguk get up from his position, eyes wide as saucers and jaw dropping to the floor.

The boy finally, finally opens his eyes, and lets out the smallest smile.

That wax when Yoongi noticed how think Jimin actually was: his face was almost sticking to itself, unnaturally pale.

He blinks, motioning Yoongi to come closer, and in comes his strained, raspy and broken voice:

"M-My project?"

To Yoongi, it sounds like salvation.

A/N: HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA im glad this is over :)

feedback pls? also updates from now will be, like, really slow bc im trying to manage all writing sites otl