When I go to the cafeteria I often forget to grab utensils and napkins, but Hanbin always brings extras and sets it down neatly on the table without a word. If I break my pencil on the day of a test, Hanbin hands me one before I need to ask. If I get a paper cut while flipping through the pages and pages of notes, Hanbin reaches into his bag and grabs a bandaid. He remembers my mother’s memorial and sends me the lecture notes.

When I need to, he silently lets me cry and scream and vent.

That’s the kind of person Hanbin is.

-&-

“Have a good night.” Bobby tells me with a little smile, taking off my purse and gently placing it over my shoulder. He glances at Hanbin and there’s a weight to the silence as Hanbin gives a slight nod. Bobby laughs without humor and waves before making his way back down the street.

Hanbin clears his throat as I watch Bobby get smaller and smaller until moving from out of sight.

“You didn’t answer your phone.” Hanbin says simply as he looks me over as if to inspect for any damage.

“Ah.” I lift up my purse, taking out my phone. Eight missed calls. Five unread messages. I look up at him, feeling guilty. And confused. “Sorry, it was in my bag… Why did you call?”

“You called me!” He says more loudly than I think he intended, raking his hands through his hair out of frustration. “You told me asking me to come get you and then you hung up… Your roommate finally texted me asking to make sure you got home alright. What was I supposed to think?”

I close my mouth, not realizing it had been gaping open. I didn’t remember calling him. Had I?

“Hanbin, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine now.” He brushes it off, grabbing onto my arm quickly as I stumble.

“Do you want coffee?” I ask quietly, not sure what else to say. I wonder how long he had been standing out here. He holds onto my hand as we walk up the stairs to my apartment, his fingers feeling like icicles.

This is the kind of person Hanbin is.

Always helping others, always letting them hurt him with a smile on his face.

I silently brew a pot of coffee as Hanbin sits down at a small table in the kitchen. He’s been to my apartment more than once, but tonight feels uneasy and strange. He feels more like a guest than a friend. I pour coffee into a mug with cream and sugar and set it in front of him.

He nods in thanks before taking a sip. He cringes and his lips, before setting the mug back down.

“Is it too sweet?” I ask in apology, sipping my own black coffee. “Sorry, you know I’m bad at making coffee.”

He sighs and takes another sip without answering me. We sit in silence for what feels like an eternity. I look anywhere but at him.

Right. We’ll ignore this, too.

“Hayi.” He says suddenly, wetting his lips as he pauses again. “Just because I don’t ask doesn’t mean I don’t want to know.”

“What?” I blurt out, surprised and irritated. “What about me, Hanbin? I want to know, too! Why do I just have to watch you get hurt without knowing why?”

He rubs his temple with his hand, eyebrows knit together as he stares down at the table.

“I’m sorry.” He says finally but it feels like he’s just trying to stop us from fighting rather than meaning it. “It’s just hard for me to talk about it. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you. Did Bobby tell you?”

“No.” I answer softly, not sure if I want to tell him I’d heard from Jisoo anyway. I watch the way his face contorts. He looks uncomfortable. “Hanbin, I want to be Bobby’s friend. I like him and I think he’s funny.”

“Okay.” He nods reluctantly. He takes another sip of coffee, opening and closing his mouth several times before finally speaking. “I’m not like you, Hayi.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” He exhales, a pained expression on his face. “I didn’t get into medical school like my dad wanted... So, I went into the psychology program like my mom wanted. I’m not like you, I don’t want any of this. It’s just the way it’s supposed to be.”

He turns his face away for a moment but I still see the glassiness in his eyes. Like he’s about to cry. I don’t ask him what it is he really wants, because I know better. I don’t tell him it’s okay, because it’s not.

“Hanbin.” I murmur, not sure what else I could say to him. I reach across the table without thinking, placing my hand on top of his. His hand is still cold in contrast to mine, warm from holding onto the hot mug. “When you’re in pain, you can tell me.”

He looks back up, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face, as if searching for something. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and smiles. It’s the kind of smile that takes a lot of strength. The kind of smile that covers up pain just by lifting the two corners of your mouth. This is the kind of person Hanbin is.

-&-

Ding.

Ding.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

I pull a pillow over my head, the loud chime of the doorbell making it impossible for me to sleep. I scream out in frustration as the person as the door starts to knock. I jump out of bed, slamming my bedroom door open as I stomp to the front door.

The knocking stops.

“Jimin, how are you sleeping through this?” I scream.

I peek into her room, and the ding-ing starts back up again, but there’s no Jimin.

I sigh, ruffling my hair as I walk up to the front door. I look through a the keyhole and swallow before quickly smoothing my hair down and untucking my shirt from my sleep shorts. I unlatch the deadbolt and turn the knob, slowly opening the door.

“You smell awful.” Lee Chaerin greets me with a sneer as she steps past me into the apartment. She takes a seat at the kitchen table as I follow behind, cleaning up the mugs from last night. I still have coffee left over, I wonder if I could reheat it. “But you’re not supposed to drink with your medication, right?”

“You tried to call before coming here, right? My phone didn’t charge last night.” I tell her as I decide to boil water for tea, instead. I sit down across from her. She smells nice, like something expensive and floral. “What brings you here, sis?”

“Don’t act all grumpy, dad woke me up with a call at 5:00 in the morning.” Chaerin smiles prettily but there’s somehow no warmth in it. “He asked wondering what we’d be doing for the holidays and said he was sorry he wouldn’t make it back to Korea in time. I’m working on a music video filming, what are your plans?”

“Why is he sorry when we never expected him to even come?” I grumble, getting up as the kettle hisses on the stovetop. I drop the tea bags into the mugs and pour the water in before bringing them back to the table. I sit back down with a huff. “I’m going to spend the week at the Kim’s house. Tell Professor Lee we won’t be lonely without him.”

“Tell him yourself. He tried to call you, too.” Chaerin takes a sip of tea before nearly spitting it out. She covers up , gingerly touching her tongue. I try not to laugh.

I get her a bottle of water, pushing it toward her.

“Did I have to tell you to be careful not to burn your tongue? You’re the big sister.” I sigh, pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

“I am the big sister, so talk to me like one.” She bites back, drinking her water. She caps it and leans forward, flipping her perfectly curled hair over her shoulder. “So, I heard you met my kids.”

“That’s right.” I frown. I wished she wouldn’t have found out but I should have known better. “Good job, you really are a choreographer. I wasn’t sure what that actually meant.”

“I’m twenty-six and make more than our dad, don’t talk badly about my career.” Chaerin laughs cheerfully and I hate her a little bit. More than his salary from the university, probably, but not when he counted his speaking fees and publishing royalties. I snort. “Anyway, I have to be somewhere for lunch so I’ll be leaving now. Thank you for the tea, Hayi.”

“Ah, goodbye.” I stand up, giving her a little bow as she rises from her chair looking more elegant than I want to admit. I walk her to the door and slump against the frame as she leaves. Why?

Why did she have to come here?

I don’t actually hate Chaerin. If I hated her then I would have stronger feelings than I do. We’re strangers that happen to come from the same family and have to occasionally meet. She’s the kind of person that makes it hard for others.

Hanbin couldn’t get into med school to please his parents but Chaerin dropped out three semesters before finishing her medical degree.

To become a choreographer.

A dancer. A performer. An entertainer.

She threw away four years of education because she loved to dance.

To follow her dreams.

I put my phone on the charger and fall back into bed.

There are people like that.

People who get the world handed to them just by asking.

---

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone for reading and subscribing! I'm so happy everyone has shown this story so much. I wanted to give you a quick, short chapter before some real drama~ starts up! I'll be busy for the next two weeks with projects and exams so I hope these two updates will hold you over for a bit! Thank you, I love you! <3

Also, here is a playlist I made with music I listen to while writing this story!