Double update.

Enjoy.

-

Yuri’s phone rang incessantly but the lady was too sleepy to open her eyes. She answered without hesitation; her eyes were still close shut.

“Hello?”

Her drowsy groggy voice ensued.

“Baby!”

“Tiffany?”

Yuri could sense something wasn’t right because f Tiffany’s quivering voice.

“Are you crying?”

“Yuri ah, it’s madness here in Korea.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Jessica?”

“She’s hysterical. She kept crying and screaming. She was crying because Yoona said goodbye in her dreams.”

Yuri was fully awake by then. Honestly Yuri felt helpless too. She read the reports on the crash earlier on. She knew Yoona could have perished together. For some reason, Yuri felt at peace when she knew she had to let Yoona go even though reluctantly.

“Fany ah, you know it could be the truth.”

“Yuri ah, Yoona’s your cousin! Don’t you think you should still believe in the fact that she could be alive?!”

“Tiffany, listen. I wished I could believe in that. But the whole plane crashed into the sea. And her name was on the list. She checked in together with the other victims. Even if she’s alive, she’s out in the sea, Tiffany.”

“She could be saved by some fisherman or something.”

“I hope she did. But I don’t want to put my hopes high. I’m trying my best to keep myself together.”

Tiffany sobbed softly; realizing that Yuri was right.

“But on the good side, I found Soo Young.”

“OH MY GOD! I TOTALLY HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT YOU WENT SINGAPORE TO LOOK FOR HER!”

“You do realize that I’m in Singapore, right?”

“Dear god, what was I thinking of, baby? It has been a big mess here. Irene was crying non-stop and Taeyeon kept blaming herself. But did you really find Soo Young? Is she still alive?”

Yuri told Tiffany everything. Tiffany was stunned to learn the truth.

“You mean that heart was Professor Choi’s ex husband’s heart?”

“Yes, he had died due to illness and he implored Soo Young to donate his heart to Taeyeon. He knew Soo Young loves Taeyeon.”

“Oh god..”

“This is really insane. And you know what Soo Young said to me? She didn’t want me to tell Taeyeon that I’ve found her.”

“Why is Professor Choi’s so selfless? She really cares about Taeyeon.”

Yuri sighed.

“Everything revolves around Taeyeon. I wonder if that woman knows how lucky she is.”

“I understand what you mean. So are you coming home soon?”

“Fany ah, I’m thinking of looking for Yoona.”

“You’re going on your own?”

“You need to stay there to accompany Jessica. She needs you and Irene definitely needs you to be around. I’ll call you every day to update.”

“Please be careful, Yuri. I cannot lose you too.”

“I will never leave you, Tiffany.”

-

Wendy came over in the early morning. Irene scared her last night. She was crying on the phone non-stop and Wendy was concerned. She bought breakfast and made her way to Irene’s house. Tiffany was at the door.

“Wendy?”

“Hi, Aunt Tiffany. Is Irene around?”

“Yeah, she is. Did she call you last night?”

“She scared me. She was crying non-stop.”

Tiffany sighed.

“Thank you for coming over. Maybe you can accompany her today.”

“I’m going to. I told Mama and Momo that I might stay over tonight.”

“That’s great. I’ll call her.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go up and look for her. I bought breakfast. Maybe Aunt Tiffany can eat first. I’ll take care of Irene.”

Tiffany was grateful for Wendy’s presence. She nodded and took the packages from Wendy. Wendy then quietly walked up the stairs. Irene’s room door was slightly ajar. She took a peek and found Irene sleeping soundly on the bed. Jessica was next to her.

“Are they awake yet?”

Wendy was startled by the sudden intrusion. She looked over her shoulder and found Taeyeon smiling at her.

“Oh! Good morning Aunt Taeyeon!”

“Good morning, Wendy. Are you here to visit Irene?”

Wendy nodded.

“But both of them are still sleeping.”

“Then let them sleep in. They were crying so much last night.”

Taeyeon’s gaze fell to the floor. Wendy somehow understood the current situation. Sunny told her this morning.

“Aunt Yoona is still missing?”

Taeyeon gestured her to close the door and Wendy followed her to the kitchen. Tiffany was busy preparing for breakfast. Wendy joined the two older ladies at the dining table.

“Are they still sleeping?”

Tiffany asked and Taeyeon nodded.

“They must be tired of crying last night.”

“I guess so. I never heard Irene unnie cried so much before.”

“She called you?”

“Yeah, she called me and cried. She said her mommy is going crazy.”

Tiffany and Taeyeon looked at each other. Both of them were there last night. They knew how bad it was.

“Irene is worried about Aunt Jessica.”

Wendy added on. She knew how much Irene loves Jessica.

“Wendy, can Aunt Taeyeon ask you for a favour?”

“Sure, just let me know.”

“Please look after Irene for us. I mean keep her accompany. She might need your support. I’m just afraid she might break down soon.”

Tiffany looked on and nodded; agreeing to Taeyeon’s suggestion. And Wendy readily agreed. Her Momo implored her to do so anyway.

“I will. Momo told me that I should be there for Irene unnie. Don’t worry, Aunt Taeyeon, Aunt Tiffany. I will keep an eye on her. But I’m worried for Aunt Jessica too.”

“We will take care of her.”

“Yeah, Aunt Tiffany will keep an eye on Aunt Jessica so you can concentrate on Irene.”

“No problem.  I’ll always be here for her.”

-

Tiffany was doing the dishes when Taeyeon stood next to her. Wendy was already making her way up to Irene’s room. The girl decided to leave the pair alone.

Taeyeon gently took over and Tiffany shifted to her side as she wiped her hands dry. Both stood there in silence; both were emotionally exhausted. Tiffany looked on; her eyes gazed on Taeyeon’s face. She was inclined to agree with Yuri’s words – the whole mess was somehow evolved around Taeyeon.

She wondered if Taeyeon ever felt guilty. Taeyeon was probably feeling the worst right now.

“I know what you’re thinking of. Are you blaming me indiscreetly?”

Taeyeon suddenly spoke up. Tiffany was taken aback but quickly shook her head.

“You know all these wouldn’t happen if I had returned back 20 years ago to find my way back to Jessica’s heart.”

“But it has been 20 years and there was nothing you can do about it.”

“I regret it so badly now, Fany.”

“But regrets just hurt.”

“Yeah, and I’m so desperate to turn back the hands of time.”

Taeyeon finally finished with the dishes. She then proceeded to wipe the dining table. Tiffany followed her. She sat on the chair.

“Do you hate me, Fany?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really even know what I’m feeling inside.”

“You must have been halved between Jessica and Yuri. Jessica’s your best friend and Yoona is your girlfriend’s cousin. I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time.”

Tiffany sighed.

“Do you think Yoona’s dead?”

Tiffany had to know. She needed to know Taeyeon’s thoughts.

“I’m not going to believe in that.”

“Why? Because you’re feeling guilty?”

“More than that. Yoona’s like a sister to me. She has been by my side for so many years and it hurts. It really hurts for me too. It’s like someone pulled the raw flesh after your wound has been exposed. That kind of pain; and I kept wondering why her. Why not me.”

Tiffany nodded.  Taeyeon then added on.

“All these years living with her; I’ve always thought she was not the kind who would be serious in a relationship. But her love for Jessica made me felt small and stupid. I don’t think I can ever be like Yoona; giving up on her love to give me and Jessica a chance of a family reunion. How selfless can she get?”

Tiffany kept her silence. Taeyeon was oblivious on the fact that someone else did the same for her. If only she knew what Professor Choi had done for her.

“Tiffany, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can I know who gave up the heart for me?”

“How would I know?”

Tiffany feigned ignorance.

“I thought you might.”

“What made you think I knew?”

“I saw you with Dr Shim and Yuri together. I was walking around the hospital when I saw you chatting with Dr Shim.”

Tiffany was stunned. Taeyeon saw them together before.

“I was asking about your condition. I mean, Jessica needs me so I need to know how I can help to ease your pain if there are any complications.”

“Oh.”

Tiffany was hoping Taeyeon would buy that.

“Then I’d like to thank you in advance for your thoughtfulness.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You just need to do what’s right now. I don’t even know if Yoona’s alive or not. But I’d like to know what you would do for Jessica now.”

Taeyeon looked on blankly. Honestly, Taeyeon had thought of it the whole night. She knew she had to step up. She had to fill in the shoes quickly but Taeyeon was not going to hope for anything.

“Tiffany, I’ll tell you this and I’ll promise you that I’d honour this promise until the day I die.”

Tiffany stared at her blankly.

“I’ll assume all the responsibilities and take good care of Jessica.”

“What if Jessica doesn’t love you anymore?”

“She doesn’t need to love me, Tiffany. I’ll still take good care of her. I’ll become responsible for her and my daughter, Irene.”

Tiffany smiled and nodded.

“You know this promise – you have to keep it well. I’m going to give you this one last chance to prove me that you will never ever leave Jessica even though in her heart, there’s no you.”

Taeyeon smiled widely.

“This promise I will.”

-

Jessica was awake and made her way back to her room. Taeyeon was waiting for her. But Jessica looked on blankly. Her towel and clean clothes were prepared neatly on the bed.

“I’ve prepared for your bath.”

Taeyeon smiled but Jessica was still as blank as ever. Her eyes were completely red and swollen. God knows how much she has cried last night. She didn’t move an inch. Taeyeon went up to her and held her hand tightly.

“Please don’t cry anymore. You know a dream is just opposite of reality. Perhaps it’s telling you not to give up.”

“She said goodbye and told me to give up on her.”

“Jessica..”

“I didn’t even get to show her how much I love her. I didn’t even express it out to her. I just assumed that she knew and I took her for granted.”

Taeyeon kept silence.

“I’m not blaming you but I blame myself. I let her slipped away from my fingers; from my grasp and now I don’t even know if she’s coming back to me at all. Why, Taeyeon? Why must this happen?”

Taeyeon didn’t dare to interrupt. And Jessica didn’t let go of her hand either. She held on tightly till her knuckles turned white.  The pain inside her heart was excruciating. Jessica wondered if she could handle another round of hurt and grief.

“All these years I thought I was strong enough. 20 years of waiting for you; 20 years of ignoring Irene and 20 years of living my life alone; cold and bereft; I thought I could weather through it all. But... Yoona.. Yoona lifted me off the ground and took the weight off from my shoulders. She was so patient; so loving and even gave you a chance to win me back.”

Jessica started sobbing. Taeyeon’s eyes were wet too. But she couldn’t find any comforting words to say.

“Was this my retribution? Was this my punishment?”

Jessica cried.

“No, this is not.”

“Then why did God take Yoona away from me?”

Jessica pulled her hand away and grabbed Taeyeon’s collar shirt instead. She was so desperate; and devastated enough.

“Maybe I’m not destined to be with you or Yoona.”

“What are you talking about, Jessica?”

“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve Yoona. And perhaps I don’t deserve Irene either.”

That last sentence was extremely painful to hear. Taeyeon closed her eyes tightly and let the tears fell. This was wrong. This was so so wrong. This was not supposed to be like this. Jessica wasn’t supposed to doubt herself. Taeyeon needed Jessica to know that all that happened was never her fault. She held Jessica’s shoulders tightly and urged the latter to look at her. Jessica looked up slowly and their eyes met. Taeyeon spoke softly.

“Irene is our daughter. You carried her inside of you. You love her to death. If you don’t deserve Irene then who else does, huh? Irene loves you so much. She’s worried to death that you might lose yourself all over again. She was there in the room; desperately holding on to you. Doesn’t she deserve something, Jessica? Our daughter Irene deserves more than what we had done for her.”

Jessica kept her silence this time.

“20 years – I lived like a coward; you lived like a dead soul; Irene lived in despair. And all of that boiled down to me because I was the reason for everything to fall apart. As much as I wanted to turn back the hands of time; but I just couldn’t. And if I knew that my presence would result to this; I’d give up everything and let you and Yoona live happily together. But it’s all written in our life story. And I’d accept all this even if your heart is no longer with me; it does no longer love me; I’d still take all this with me and give you the best of me.”

Taeyeon went on her knees; wrapping her arms around Jessica. Jessica watched her as her gaze fell to the woman she used to love so much before.

“I promise to you. I’d look after you. Even if you think you cannot love me anymore, I’ll stay by your side. I’d assume Yoona’s role and I’ll continue to provide for you and Irene. I’ll take over the responsibility until Yoona returns.”

Jessica’s tears fell immediately. She slowly went down on her knees and held Taeyeon tightly. Taeyeon pulled her closer and tucked her under her chin.

“You believe Yoona will return?”

“I’ll assume that she will. I’m not going to ask you to take me back. Let me just be there; be your pillar of strength and I’ll take good care of you. Irene is our daughter; you told me before to get well so that we can share our responsibility of Irene. You can lean on me as much as you want, Jessica. If you need to pretend that I’m Yoona, please do. I’d take everything in.”

“Taeyeon..”

“I’m not going to lose you to despair; desperation or even pain anymore. And I’m sure Yoona doesn’t want to see you wallowing in pain. Let’s live our lives like as though we owed it to Yoona.”

Jessica nodded.

“Let me just be the pillar for you to lean on, Jessica. I’ll do everything for you.”

-

Irene hugged her bolster tightly. Wendy sat next to her; looking at her worriedly. Irene hasn’t spoken a word; neither did she have the appetite to eat her breakfast. Wendy needed to find ways to cheer her unnie up.

“When can I hear your voice again?”

“Hmm?”

“You have been keeping quiet for an hour now.”

Wendy pouted her lips slightly. Irene saw it and gave a weak smile.

“That’s the weakest smile I got from you.”

“At least I did smile.”

“I know but I’m demanding.”

“You’re forever demanding.”

“But you’d always give in.”

Irene looked up to find Wendy grinning at her. She knew Wendy was trying to cheer her up. She rolled her eyes instead.

“Uh huh! I got something more than just a smile! Keep it up!”

That put a smile on Irene’s face immediately. She threw her bolster at Wendy.

“You dork.”

“Whatever, you love me.”

“Shut up.”

Wendy stuck her tongue out and picked the bolster up. She sat in front of Irene and took the older girl’s hand. She squeezed it tightly.

“You will always have me. You’re not alone anymore. For the last 20 years, you might be dealing with this all by yourself but I’m not allowing that anymore. You have me.”

Irene was grateful. Her eyes were watery.

“I promise you. I’ll not run away. Just lean on me for as long as you can. I’ll catch you.”

“Thanks Wendy.”

“Now, let’s eat something.”

“I don’t have appetite.”

“You need to eat. Your Mommy needs you. She needs you the most right now.”

“Do you think Yoona Omma is dead?”

Wendy shook her head.

“She’s never gone, unnie. I’m sure she’s lurking around the house right now. And she’s never far. She’s always in your heart.”

“Will she know how much I miss her?”

Wendy nodded and put her arms around Irene.

“She knows. She knows you miss her so much.”

“Then please tell her that I love her.”

Irene blushed when Wendy pulled her nose gently.

“I’ll send a message through telepathy.”

“I thought you said she’s lurking around the house.”

“I cannot see her. So I must send signals.”

Wendy put her forefingers to the sides of her forehead and squint her eyes.

“What the heck are you doing?”

“I’m sending messages.”

“What?”

Wendy smiled.

“I told Aunty Yoona that Irene Jung misses her.”

“And what did she say?”

“She said she misses you too.”

Irene finally smiled.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Wendy is Irene’s wall.

-