Why was it so difficult to make amends, but so easy to break relationships?

Jieun stared at the flat ceiling, hugging a doll that a fan gifted her. Her eyes were wide open, and she hardly blinked at all. She was absorbed in her own little world, trying to come up with a reason for her question. It wasn't like she was asking herself anything difficult, but it was still hard for her to come up with a good excuse.

She began throwing the doll in the air, watching it fly in space for a brief moment before coming down to be caught by her two pale hands. Narrowing her eyes, she continued to stare at the doll, as if she was hoping for it to answer her. She finally let out a sigh and dropped the doll besides her as she slowly got up. She glanced at the clock, noticing that it was four in the morning.

Today's another busy day, she reminded herself. She rubbed her eyes and sighed once more. I'll be seeing Yoongi again at the music show.

It was a bit weird. A part of her didn't want to see him at all. He became a rude jerk, and she didn't want to associate herself with the new Yoongi. On the other hand, she was also hoping to catch a small glimpse of him. Even though she knew that he hated her for whatever reason he had, she liked making those short eye-contacts and exchanging ugly faces. Every time she saw those little moment in Yoongi, she could remember all the old memories—the good old times when they were best friends rather than enemies.

But he broke me, Jieun thought grimly. He doesn't deserve me anymore. Not with the words he spat out that day.

A familiar ringtone echoed in the small room. She glanced to her side and picked up her phone, noticing that her manager was calling her. Naturally, she picked it up and rested the phone besides her ear.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Jieun? We're canceling today's schedule," her manager informed her.

Jieun widened her eyes. "What? Why?"

"They called last-minute and said that they had to replace you with some other group. Apparently one of the bigger groups is making a comeback and pushed it to today," Junghyun said.

"W-Well, what do I do?" she asked. "Are all my gigs replaced?"

"No, just for today. If you made any idol friends, why don't you hang out with them for today? Remember, if they're guys, make sure you're in a group," her manager said.

"This dating-ban is ridiculous. Who would I date?" Jieun asked, getting up to look out the window.

"It's for your sake, Jieun. If you start dating, then you're going to ruin your image." Junghyun paused for a second. "Looks like I'm getting another call. I'll contact you a bit later."

"Okay," Jieun murmured, "but I really have nothing else to do."

"You'll find something to do," Junghyun assured her. "Okay, it's a really important call. Bye!"

"Thank you for all the hard work," she mumbled. The phone clicked, ending their conversation. Jieun looked down at her phone, then groaned.

What am I supposed to do? she asked herself. Idol friends? I don't have any idol friends! Yoongi briefly crossed her mind, but she quickly pushed away that idea. No. Yoongi is not a good option. That is a terrible idea.

She stopped her thoughts and glanced at the guitar leaning against the wall. Slowly, she approached the guitar, tracing her fingers across the smooth surface. She pressed her lips and plucked a string before cringing.

"It's off tune," she whispered to herself. It had been a while since she picked up the guitar. The last time she played the guitar was for her instrument lessons prior to her debut. She had to practice over and over again, thickening her fingers as she held down the chords and strummed the strings with a guitar pick. A small smile displayed on her lips as she remembered the guitar instructor yelling at her for not being able to sing and play at the same time. Now, she had no problem with it, but the company didn't see the need for to use the guitar if she was going to debut as an idol.

Her smile disappeared when she slowly remembered the reason why she decided to play the guitar in the first place. Her initial reason for playing the guitar was to play a song for Yoongi. He had always shared his musical abilities with her, and she wanted to share her musical interest with him, too. A deep frown appeared on her face as she remembered how disappointed he was with her first composition on Valentine's Day.

It was the last time we ever spoke, too, she realized. She let out a sigh and looked back at the ceiling. 

She could only imagine how happy she would be if she was still friends with Yoongi. What would the two be doing? Yoongi would've probably made fun of her for not being able to attend the music show, but he would've probably said a thing or two to cheer her up. She could picture him offering her a couple of minutes to just talk or to hear her rant about how hard it was to be a rookie idol. Maybe he would've invited her to just hang out at the waiting room, even though she wasn't going to perform.

But that wasn't the case. She wasn't friends with Yoongi. Yoongi wouldn't even do something like that, especially since he didn't look like he wanted to get along with her. She didn't even have a friend like that, and she probably would never meet someone like that.

Why is it so difficult to make amends, but so easy to break relationships?

Jieun couldn't answer such a simple question.

• • •

"Jieun isn't here today?"

Yoongi's ears perked up. He looked away from his phone and stared at Jimin, who was talking to their manager.

"Yeah, not today," their manager said. "I heard that her spot is going to be replaced with some other big group. She'll be here next time, though. This was a last-minute thing."

"What about our slot?" Namjoon asked.

"Our slot is the same. They just sent me the new order, but it looks like we managed to keep our slot." The manager looked at the group before leaving the room. "You guys are second to last. Remember that."

"Just hope that the girls still have their voices for our performance," Taehyung said playfully after the manager was gone.

"Well damn," Jimin murmured, sitting next to Yoongi, "I was going to ask Jieun if wanted to have dinner with me today."

Yoongi scoffed quietly to himself while he absorbed himself in the article he was reading. However, he started to widen his eyes when he replayed Jimin's words in his head. He quickly shot him a look of surprise, grabbing the younger boy's attention.

"Is there something wrong?" Jimin asked him.

"Since when did you call IU 'Jieun' publicly?" Yoongi inquired.

"Since a while," Jimin answered casually. He smiled to himself when he remembered the tingly sensation he felt when he had asked her to repeat his name several time. "We just decided to cut the act and now we're acting like we're best friends."

Yoongi continued to look at him. "She's letting you call her by her real name?"

"Yeah," Jimin said. He gave the mint-haired boy an amused look. "Why? Jealous?"

Heat quickly rose up to Yoongi's cheek. He scoffed and looked back at his phone.

"Jealous? Why the hell would I be jealous?" he muttered coldly. He paused, then eyed at him. "You're not dating her, right?"

"Not yet," Jimin said playfully. He smiled with he saw Yoongi scowl. "What?"

It was fun messing around with Yoongi. For years, Jimin was always under Yoongi's wrath. He was never allowed to do anything that would surpass Yoongi. However, when he found his trump card—Jieun, to be specific—he felt like he had the world's greatest power. He was never sure what Yoongi's and Jieun's relationship was, but he didn't really care. Just messing around with Yoongi was hilarious as it is.

What made it even better was that Yoongi knew that he was being messed with, but he couldn't do a single thing. As much as Yoongi wanted to deny it, Jieun had a huge impact in his life. Even if Yoongi wasn't aware of what kind of relationship he had with Jieun, he could always admit that there was something between them.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

"I hope you aren't planning to date," Seokjin said seriously. "You need to check with her personally if there's a dating ban. JYP has a dating man with all their rookie groups."

"But Jieun is in LOEN," Jimin said.

"You should check with LOEN," Taehyung suggested. "I'm not too sure with that company, but I won't be surprised if there's a dating ban."

Dating bans.

Yoongi knew that his dating ban was still in place. Some of the members were free from the dating ban, but they were the least popular members like Jimin. Other members, like him, had a little lengthier dating man. Of course, Yoongi never cared much about his dating ban since he never thought of dating anyone in particular. However, with Jieun's recent appearance, he was starting to feel uneasy with the ban.

It's not like I'm planning to get hooked up with her, he told himself, shaking his head. So why am I thinking of her?

"I think you guys are worrying about nothing," Jimin said.

"I hate to say it, but i agree with Jimin," Hoseok said. He shrugged his shoulders when everyone stared at him. "It's Jimin. Nothing is going to happen."

"Yeah, but he's still part of BTS," Jungkook pointed out softly.

"I'm a BTS member who can't even take part in writing lyrics," Jimin said loudly. He was being loud on purpose; he wanted to make sure that Yoongi heard every little word in that sentence.

Yoongi, completely ticked off, rolled his eyes. "I don't deal with people who write lyrics like a ten-year old."

Jimin narrowed his eyes. "Want to fight?"

Yoongi sighed tiredly. "If you have time to fight, then why don't you find the time to write?"

Jimin opened his mouth, but the words didn't come out of his mouth. Instead, he sealed his lips and only gave him a small glare.

"By the way," Seokjin said, looking at Yoongi. "Did you say your thanks for the birthday presents that everyone gave you?"

Yoongi looked at him. "I have to do that?"

"Well, he did it at the party," Namjoon said.

"Yeah, but you didn't thank Jieun," Seokjin pointed out.

Yoongi cringed. "Whatever. I'll give it back to her—"

"You mean you still didn't open it?" Hoseok asked, surprised. "Wow, how much do you hate this girl?"

"I don't hate her—"

"Well, you have something towards her," Jimin said playfully. Yoongi shot him another glare before he looked away.

"Anyway, I'll just return the gift," Yoongi declared.

"What if it's something she can't return?" asked Jungkook.

"Don't get smart with me," Yoongi snapped.

"He has a point," Namjoon said. "What if it's something that's too late to be returned?"

"I'll pay her back."

"I still think it's better to take the present, accept it, and thank her," Seokjin said.

"Give it to me," Jimin said. Everyone looked at him. "What? If Yoongi doesn't want it, then I want it."

"Are you sure that you two aren't dating?" Taehyung asked Jimin. "I'm totally getting these dating vibes."

"We're not," Jimin said. He smirked at Yoongi. "Or are we?"

"What are you trying to do? Make me worry? Get mad?" Yoongi inquired.

"Nothing. I'm not expecting anything from you," Jimin lied.

"Then stop looking at me," Yoongi demanded.

"I can look at whoever I want."

"Stop," Namjoon ordered. "You guys need to step back and think."

"I am thinking," Yoongi told him. He stood up. "Anyway, I'll give her back the present some other time when I see her."

"Or you can give it to me," Jimin quickly added.

"Returning it sounds like a much better idea," Yoongi said. He faked a smile before leaving the room.

As he stepped outside, he let out a sigh of relief. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small boxed present that Jieun had given him.

He wasn't sure if he was allowed to open it. After all, Jieun had bought this present without knowing who the birthday boy was. To this day, he was wondering if he should've just returned the present to her since he was sure that the gift wasn't meant for him. In fact, Jieun was probably regretting the fact that she got him—the person she hated the most—a gift.

He groaned. I really need to return this as soon as possible.

The door opened behind him. He quickly hit the present back in his pocket. He turned around and noticed that it was Namjoon who was stepping out a bit. Namjoon stared at him in surprise before closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing standing here?" Namjoon asked.

"Um, fresh air," Yoongi lied. "Talking with Jimin is a pain."

"I think you handled it rather nicely," Namjoon said.

"No, I didn't. It's the same as always," Yoongi said, exhausted. "When will he ever shut up?"

Namjoon faked a laugh while patting Yoongi's shoulder. "Come on. You don't mean it."

"Actually, I do mean it. I want him to shut the hell up," Yoongi stated.

"Come on," Namjoon said, pushing Yoongi away from the door. "Let's go get something to drink, okay?"