Luhan opened his eyes to the blinding light coming from his window, which didn't help his headache one bit. He rarely drank a lot but every time he did he had problems remembering what had happened and felt like dying. This time it was no expectation. He tugged the blanked over his head the instance he felt the sunlight. Groaning loudly he placed both hands to his eyes and rubbed them in hope to reduce the pain, but without any effect.

After a short time Luhan pushed himself of the bed in order to get some water for his burning throat. Stumbling he managed to get a bottle from his fridge. Undoing the cap, he drank half of its contents in one go. Leaning on the countertop he placed a hand on it to steady himself, the other occupied by the water bottle.

He had his eyes closed in an attempt to remember yesterday's events. Drinking the last of the water he started piecing everything together: him feeling insecure about Xiumin, getting mad at him and making him leave, going to a bar, leaving alone and buying more alcohol, finishing the two bottles at home and fighting with Sehun. Feeling his chest constrict and worsening headache pondering harder he crumbled the bottle and threw it in the trashcan.

"Why did all this happened? Can't I be happy for once in my life? Why when things finally looking up they have to go down in flames?" He question to no one, already seated on his bed. The faded memories started to clear making him feel even more miserable.

Guilt built up in him as well as sadness. The emotions overflowed him. They were too much for him, too much to take at once, making him regret drinking so much even more. He was drowning in them. Luhan felt an ugly sob bubbling up in his throat. He hated crying but he couldn't stop it. He tried oh-so hard but failed, it was stronger than him.

Crying made him feel weak and pathetic and he refused to feel like that. Luhan didn't want to feel like that ever again, he had promised himself, but here he was now - curled in a ball bailing his eyes out. He knew he had lost control over his life and now things were starting to move at their own pace and leaving him behind.

No. Luhan couldn't just let things be this way! If he did it would be like admitting defeat. He got up surpassing the cry that was about to escape him. How could he sit there and break his promise. He would never do it. He needed to be strong, he had to be, because if he wasn't would someone just come and save him? No, of course not. He had to pick himself up.

-----

The next day he went to eat breakfast out, brought some ingredients to restack his fridge and went to the library just like a normal university student. On his way there he stumbled upon Chen who practically ran up to Luhan the moment he noticed him.

"Hey. How are you? Is everything alright? What happened on Friday?" Chen bombarded him with questions.

"Wow, wow. Take it easy. What's with all the questions?" Luhan smiled.

"Friday you were acting strange, ran out on me and disappeared for a day. So what happened?" There was concern written all over his face.

"Oh, about that I was just in a bad mood. Sorry for worrying you."

"Are you sure? You didn't look that good."

"I could be moody at times." Luhan reassured the smile never flattering out of sight.

To anyone it would appear as if everything was alright but that was just a mask, it was all just an act. He was not alright one bit, he was practically falling apart from the inside but nobody could know that. He was a shell of a person doing everything on autopilot with a smile. If he smiled long enough everything would be alright, no one would know that he was broken inside.

"I'm going to the library for a project. Do you want to come with me?"

"Nah, I don't want to disturb you if you have work. I am glad that you are okay, tho." Chen waved goodbye and ran somewhere Luhan didn't care about. 'Glad you're okay, my .' Luhan scoffed inwardly.

The rest of the day went like normal, as if Xiumin had never entered his life, with the expectation of Sehun not bothering him.

-----

On Monday Luhan didn't see Xiumin in the hallways, well they were in different departments most of the time, so it wasn't that odd, but it was strange when he didn't see the older in the cafeteria. His friends were there but there was no trace of him.

When Luhan caught himself thinking about Xiumin he mentally slapped himself. Why would he care about him? It isn't like they were friends or something.

-----

On the way to his next class he collided face-first in someone's chest.

"Oh hey, Luhan. What are you daydreaming about?" The boy chuckled.

"Sorry, Tao." Luhan rubbed the back of his neck. Cheeks red with embarrassment for being such an air-head.

"Dreaming about Xiumin I see." The older chocked on thin air.

"What?" Luhan asked in between coughs.

"I haven't seen Xiumin in more than 3 days, so I thought he was with you." Tao wiggled his eyebrows.

"No! No, he wasn't with me." Luhan answered, flustered with even redder expression. "He could have gone home to see his parents or something."

"That's highly unlikely. He doesn't have a good relationship with them." That was a thing Luhan didn't know about, all he could respond to this information was an 'oh'.

"I thought that you knew where he could be since you are basically attached by the hip."

"Sorry, Tao. I have no idea. I guess you got it wrong that we are always together."

The bell rang and both boys had to head their own way. Waving goodbye they separated, Tao sprinted to his class and Luhan walking slowly in the daze of the thoughts that swarmed him after the short convention.

When he got to his class he was scold for being late but he didn't react at all, still occupied by his thoughts. He sat on a free seat and the next moment the bell rang once again, it could have been minutes or even hours since he sat down but for him they went in a flash. Much like his whole day.

----

Hey guy! New (y) chapter!

Sorry it took so long. I was really busy with school and Scholar's cup and other things. There are exams coming up (I always have exams but that's another thing) and a lot at that. I will try writing more. I think I overcame my writing block but my procrastination is still here but... Yeah. I'm gonna try working things out.

A huge thanks for all the support you give me!!!

Have an awesome day/night!!