Chapter 9
InseparableTaehyung couldn't stand all the overwhelming feelings flowing through his body.
The feeling of hate, the feeling of worthlessness have never been so strong in his fragile body.
He had craved many lines onto his forearm hoping to block out the pain but it only made everything worse. In Taehyung's mind, everything was crumbling and even those kind words uttered by Hoseok were repressed to the back of his thoughts.
But Taehyung couldn't give up.
He still held a sliver of hope that the beloved friendship he had held for such a long time would continue. He hoped this was just a phase and would just pass by. That their friendship would always triumph.
Even as he was filled with ambition, he couldn't will himself out of bed. The lines he had craved burned and were a mess. The throbbing pain would stick with Taehyung throughout the day and would distract him from doing any task.
Maybe that's why he cut. The physical pain dulled the emotional one-- at a cost.
He was unaware at how deep he was falling. Deeper and deeper into a dark place, one that would be incredibly hard to come out of.
--
After his emotion breakdown, Taehyung decided to trudge out of his bedroom. Now noticing the note placed on the table in the kitchen, he picks it up and reads 'Taehyung, your father and I are taking care of some business at your grandparents house, will be home Saturday - love mom & dad'
Of course. The one time Taehyung needed supervision and it wasn't there. Not that he wanted it, but deep down he knew that things would end up taking a turn for the worst.
Since he had one to watch him, Taehyung skipped school. "It's not like anyone cares" he said to no one in particular and even though he spoke with a casual tone, he knew he wanted someone, anyone to stop him.
Due to the fact that Taehyung knew that no one would visit him for several days, he decided it was irrelevant to clean up. Signifying that a short sleeve shirt and a blood stained razor in his room weren't a bother.
For the entire day, Taehyung had just sat in his room, tv on an inapplicable show while every once in a while Taehyung would add extra lines onto his wrist, distracting him whenever he thought about Jungkook. He just didn't want to think anymore.
But there was always that shred of hope, that maybe, just maybe, Jungkook would worry for his friend's absence and come by his best friend's home.
Taehyung still hadn't his phone from last night and was unaware of the many texts he had received from a certain someone. Maybe Taehyung didn't want to be disappointed, nevertheless he decided not to turn it on. There it sat, right across the razor Taehyung was using to paint a picture.
The day progressed slowly with Taehyung blanking out at many times, not thinking about anything in particular, his body was just numb.
He had spent most of the night before spilling countless tears, so he couldn't cry anymore. His voice was hoarse from the sobbing and slight screams of agony he had emitted the night before.
Taehyung didn't want to be weak anymore. Unfortunately, the one person how had been his rock for so many years vanished into thin air.
So there Taehyung sat, blank, a few drops of blood falling onto his bed thanks to a fresh cut marked across his now red forearms.
His deafening silence was crushed by the sudden knocking and bursting open of his door.
Park Jimin.
--
Jimin was worried. Beyond worried.
After Taehyung's dash from the restaurant the day before, Jimin felt a pain in the pit of his stomach.
The pain of guilt.
He saw Taehyung's look of anguish on his face, once confronted with weird stares and laughter. He remembers the look of panic along with a slight hint of disappointment and while his eyes were trained on Jungkook, the gloss of unshed tears was evident in his eyes.
Jimin felt nervous when his friend didn't show up to school but then again, who would? Coming to school meant confronting the people who had hurt you the most, but even so, Jimin couldn't help but feel anxious.
He knew Taehyung tended to have dark thoughts and while he hadn't told him how deep those thoughts went, the boy would shut down for days at a time; refusing to speak to anyone but Jungkook.
Speaking of Jungkook, Jimin glanced to the boy sitting two desks away from his, seemingly at peace with he friend's absence. Jimin's anxiety soon grew to rage, he told Jungkook not to do this. Not to break the boy who he had built. Not to abandon the boy who seemingly blossomed around him.
But Jungkook didn't listen. He was too engrossed with the concept of popularity, even if it would lead him no where.
While Jimin was slightly fuming at anger towards the brunette, Jungkook sat, a blank look on his face. Many would interpret that look as one of disinterest and unconcerned but deep down it was Jungkook trying to control his emotions, fighting the overwhelming thoughts swarming his mind.
Jungkook was distressed as well.
Of course, the only one who could see through the blank mask he puts on at times is Taehyung. His best friend Taehyung. The one he left behind.
Taehyung was--and still is--a big blessing in Jungkook's life, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. The boy is the only one who can figure him out, and probably knows Jungkook even better than he knows himself.
The same question popping up in Jungkook's 'Is it worth it?' He wasn't too sure anymore. He tried to forget that look of anguish that graced Taehyung's face the day before. Jungkook had only seen it a few times before, when Taehyung's dog passed away, when his favorite toy broke, when he lost his passed down bracelet from his grandfather, but those times were very rare.
Jungkook was still unaware at the circumstance. That he was completely breaking his best friend apart, and it was going downhill at a supremely fast pace.
The bell then rang to release for the day, Jungkook silently began packing up his things, slowly turning to glance at the empty seat next to him.
'I promise to make it up to you on Friday Tae'
--
Jimin on the other hand, still felt perturbed at the growing feeling of guilt in his stomach.
The red head decided to go visit Taehyung after school, after grabbing the handouts given for the day to take to his friend's home.
As he walked out of the classroom, he was met by a short statured figure, Yoongi.
Seeing as Jimin was uneasy, Yoongi asks "Ya Jimin, what's wrong?" Yoongi had gradually gained feelings for the red haired boy, he had always managed to make his cold heart warm but seeing him this uneasy made Yoongi want to hurt whoever made him feel that way.
Jimin, slightly flinching, responds, "Oh nothing... I'm just kinda worried about Taehyung..."
At the mention of Taehyung, Yoongi gets slightly agitated. 'That kid always causes trouble and now with Jimin? Stupid brat'
"Why though? Just because he ran out like an idiot doesn't mean anything, he's just weird."
"No don't call him that!"
"What?"
"Taehyung hadn't done anything wrong! Why don't you like him? He's one of my best friends Yoongi! If you don't stop talking about him like that, I can't be your friend anymore, he means too much to me."
Yoongi, surprised, replies, "Jimin.. Is he really that important to you?"
Jimin without any sort of hesitation says "Yes Yoongi, he saved me from bullies, helped me through tough times and has never given up on me, I'm ashamed that I tried to give him up. So if you excuse me, I'm going to go visit him. I don't care what you think or do. Tell Namjoon for all I care, Taehyung is like a brother to me and I refuse to leave him behind; screw popularity, I'd rather be happy with Tae" and with that Jimin slightly pushed Yoongi out of the way and continues onward to Taehyung's home.
--
When Jimin reached Taehyung's home, he knocked on the door as usual but once no one answered, he looks back and notices no cars in the driveway. However, Jimin still has the odd feeling that Taehyung was coped up inside the house. Therefore, Jimin fished the spare key from under the potted plant next to the front door and unlocks the door.
Once inside Jimin notices that it's deadly silent. Not a sound was heard from any part of the home. Feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, Jimin continues on, slowly trudging upstairs towards Taehyung's room.
What he does notice as he walks up the stairs is the state of disarray the house is in. Upstairs, pillows strewn around, drawer ajar and even a broken plate on the floor, from the decorations hung around the walls. Seeing the condition of the upstairs part of the house is in, freaks the red head a bit, as he wonders what could've occurred in the home. The nightmare of a possible robbery flashed in his mind.
Jimin quietly steps to the closed door of Taehyung's room, he decides to knock, not hearing any response, he decides to open the door.
The sight that greeted Jimin was much, much worse than a nightmare.
ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ
Hello beautiful readers ^^ I'm so so so sorry for the late update, this past week was finals, I was planning to write this chapter on the bus to a football game but my friend kept trying to read what I was writing. I didn't want her to see all the stuff I was writing, she somewhat knows about my depression but I can't will myself to tell her anything. Things have gotten better though. My last football game was yesterday ^^ my team went to state championships and ended up winning!! 56-0 it was pretty amazing and fun to watch, albeit bittersweet that it's over.
Also, I didn't cut!! I tried to keep my promise to you all, and I succeeded. And as you can Taehyung is not going through a great time right now but I'm hoping he will soon. Maybe I'm just writing about how I feel, but I can't live. Sometimes I just stay in my room alone, thinking of ways to end my life but I manage to find hope in your comments. Maybe things will get better, I try to keep your words in my mind to counterbalance my dark thoughts. This chapter was also delayed because I honestly didn't know what to write >.< I have a very loose construction of how my stories go but it's not detailed and I stayed up for nights trying to figure how I was gonna write this, hopefully it lived up to you expectations! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it makes my day brighter and happier, I can't imagine where I would be without all of you. ^^ thank you!!!
until next time! ❤️
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