warning: swearing, homophobic slurs, 

Jungkook had a lot going through his close minded head. He was angry at Taehyung for insulting his supposed friends, but he was also hurt at the lack of security Taehyung held in their friendship. He was frustrated because he knew deep down that Taehyung was the only person that truly understood him inside and out, but he just couldn’t stand the constantly clingy Taehyung.

Constant reassurance, the constant consolation that their friendship wasn’t forced was just overwhelming because it really wasn’t. Jungkook wasn’t really sure why those words spewed from his mouth at the time, Jungkook didn’t have to be his friend. It was solely his choice and their parents had nothing to do with that fact. Now, Jungkook wasn’t sure if the frustration was due to Taehyung or his own idiotic antics.

He kept fighting those contradicting thoughts as he briskly walked over to the spot he was supposed to meet Namjoon, Yoongi and the rest. When he arrived near the student parking lot, he noticed that two figures were involved in a heated argument.

“Seriously Namjoon! Why are you doing this to the poor kid? Taehyung hasn’t done anything to you and for you to do these disgusting things is going too far.” Jungkook, who had stopped to take cover behind another parked car, saw that the heated voice belonged to none other than Min Yoongi.

“Why do you even care Yoongi? I thought you didn’t care about that stupid , did you know that he likes Jungkook like that? It’s repulsive and Jungkook deserves better.” Namjoon retorts, scoffing in the elder’s face.

Jungkook just stood in shock. Had Taehyung really had feelings like that towards him? For how long? Jungkook wasn’t able to develop on the thoughts as he heard a loud smack and he quickly turned to view the sight.

Yoongi had just delivered a powerful slap to the other’s face, a distasteful grimace upon his face. “You !” he yelled, “Is that how you threatened him?”

Jungkook stood in awe, had Namjoon really taken matters into his own hands and said something to his best friend?

“Oh yeah I did,” Namjoon starts, pride seeping through his voice, the slap seemingly painless to him, “I told that that if he didn’t stay away from Jungkook, I’d let our little secret slip; I gave him so many chances to, the should be grateful to me. Every time I confronted him, man you should’ve seen the look on his face, it was golden. His eyes were tearing up like a sissy, he was shaking like a leaf- oh and that one time we were in the dinner and he ran away? Priceless! It’s not even my fault, Yoongi. This is what Jungkook wanted, I just used some of my… special persuasion techniques,” he laughed, not noticing the looming shadow coming from behind him.

Yoongi’s eyes only raised in curiosity at what was about to occur and if Jungkook wasn’t about to do it, Yoongi gladly would.

“It was just so easy,” Namjoon carried on, oblivious, “If Jungkook can leave behind that bastard, and he’s set! He’s gonna rule the school, he doesn’t need that garbage with hi-“ he’s cut off, as a shoulder pulls him around and a swift blow is delivered to his jaw.

“Don’t talk about my best friend like that,” Jungkook growls, voice laced with malice as he glares at the shrinking figure below him.

“What the hell Jungkook?!” Namjoon bellows, clutching his jaw, “This is what you wanted, to be popular, to be in the ‘it’ crowd. What are you doing? You deserve better.  You’re almost there, forget about that !”

Jungkook sees red as he kicks Namjoon over and over in the stomach, “Don’t talk about Taehyung like that! He’s the most loving person in the world, if anyone deserves better, it’s him because I’m a ty friend!”

It takes Yoongi’s strong arm wrapped around Jungkook’s torso to stop the vigorous kicks. “That’s enough,” Yoongi says sternly, “Go to Taehyung, I’ll take care of this trash” and pushes the younger away lightly.

Jungkook takes off sprinting as pouring rain cuts through his clothes, mind set on one thing, Taehyung.

--

It’s a long sprint to his home with the never ending rain blurring his vision. Jungkook hadn’t stopped until he made it one house away from Taehyung’s only to see his own mother’s car pull into the driveway, before dragging herself out of the car and collapsing.

“Mom!” Jungkook yells, taking off towards his sobbing mother, taking her into his arms and pulling her inside to their home. He sets her on the couch quickly before grabbing her hands and questioning, “What’s wrong mom?” anxiously.

“Hye Soo…” she sobs out, ‘Taehyung’s mom?’ Jungkook thinks, before turning full attention to his mother. “Sh-She’s gone..”

“Wh-What do you mean mom?” Jungkook questions, stomach knotting painfully.

“She d-died today Jungkookie.. She’s left us... There was a car ac-accident” she chokes out, “Taehyung’s father and grandfather were in it as well, they’re barely alive. Oh my god Jungkook, Taehyung! Taehyung’s alone, go get him right now! That p-poor child he must be suffering” His mother then proceeds to weep into her hands, shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Jungkook stands from his crouching position slowly, letting the words sink into his mind. Tears well in his eyes knowing that Taehyung’s mother, his fondly named, ‘second mom’ had left the Earth. If his own heart was slowly breaking at the news, imagine Taehyung.

‘Taehyung!’ Jungkook snaps out of his stupor and proceeds to dash from inside the house, run across the street and to the door of his friend.

Jungkook knocks like a mad man once he arrives, only to notice the door is unlocked. He then steps inside the darkened home and yells out, “Tae! Where are you? Please Tae, I’m sorry!”

Seeing as no one was on the first floor, he sprinted upstairs and to Taehyung’s closed door. He quietly tapped on the dark wood. “Tae… I’m sorry for everything, I know I’ve been the worst friend these past few days… I don’t even deserve to have the title of your best friend. I was blinded, Taehyung. I didn’t mean any of what I said,” he whispers softly.

Not hearing any response, he turns the door knob and enters the light ridden room. Jungkook notices the upturned state the room is in but no sign of Taehyung. He turns a bit to notice light slipping from under the bathroom door connected to Taehyung’s room. Jungkook let out a sigh of relief and proceeded to walk to the door.

However, when he opens the door he is met with a gruesome discovery.

There lays his best friend of fifteen years, looking as pale as a sheet, skin emitting a ghostly pale but what really stands out is the glaring scarlet staining his thin wrists. Once white bandages covered with the pain of abandonment; a bottle once filled with a temporary sleep aid, now becomes a permanent one. Dry tear trails down hollow cheeks, once filled with laughter and joy. Eyes shut, ones that once held a boy’s dreams and aspirations, now void of their sparkle.  

Jungkook drops to his knees, tears falling at a steady rate, “No Tae… Why did you do this Taehyungie?” he whispered childishly, pulling the limp body to his own, cradling Taehyung into him, “Taehyung.. please say something. D-Don’t leave me, Tae… You promised!” He yells out, unable to control his feelings at a devastating time like this. “You said you would never leave me! Tae…Tae!” Jungkook begins to lose all rationale and starts shaking the inactive body, begging for any sign of life.

Unbeknownst to Jungkook, panicked footsteps are trailing up the stairs, dashing into the solemn room; once taking in the traumatic scene, the figure clumsily dials 911, pleading from them to help the love of his life.

--

It smells like clean linens and antispectic, like organized and monitored death.

White sterile walls surround two shaken teens. Hoseok had received a text from Jimin that he had left Taehyung alone due to a family emergency but had an awful feeling at what was going to transpire. Hoseok had also felt it, the same premonition and after sneaking out from his home, ran to Taehyung's and he was indeed greeted with the worst. Hoseok had been quick to call the police with their arrival being less than three minutes after the call, but to him, it took an eternity. Watching Jungkook crumble around his seemingly dead best friend was pitiful. Hoseok did not have the heart to watch as the paramedics ripped him away from Taehyung’s limp body in order to offer aid. The harrowing wails emitted from the young boy brought tears to everyone’s eyes, but the focus was on Taehyung. It had been around forty minutes after he had swallowed the pills so the paramedics needed to work fast. They quickly got him on the stretcher and sped for the nearest hospital.

They had to leave the two boys behind but Jungkook’s mother gathered them and brought them to the hospital. On the way there, Jimin was called and told of the situation by Hoseok, quiet words were exchanged as the short male said he would arrive as quickly as he could. They all bolted inside to find out that Taehyung was in ICU as the pills he swallowed were suppressing his breathing and, in turn, could not breathe himself. They needed to pump his stomach as well and give him several blood transfusions after all the blood loss he suffered. Seeing as Jungkook’s mom was the only adult that had supervision over him, as Taehyung’s mother specifically asked Jungkook’s mother to keep an eye out for Taehyung, she was brought into a separate room to discuss Taehyung’s condition and state. This left a sobbing Jungkook and somber Hoseok outside.

There was a deadly silence between the two, only sniffles were heard as they waited in the empty waiting room. A few moments passed, before Hoseok mutters, “This is all your fault.”

Jungkook’s head whips toward the elder, and lets out a breathy, “What?”

Hoseok’s voice begins to gain strength as he continues, “Taehyung is here because of you, you are so ing blind. How could you let this happen?”

Jungkook could merely stare in silence as Hoseok got up from his seat and pulled Jungkook up by the collar, “Why does it have to be you!” he yells, not caring if the nurse at the desk looks up from her papers. “Taehyung was so afraid of losing you, so scared of being abandoned that he’d rather die than live without you. He loves you so ing much and I don’t understand why. You left him behind for what? Popularity? You’re such a pathetic bastard. He did everything for you. He tried to change himself, he bled for you Jungkook. You saw those cuts right? Those were because of you and your ignorance” He says forcefully, lifting up his fist to punch the boy in the face.

Jungkook closed his eyes and prepared himself for the incoming pain. He deserved it, the punch and more. He had messed up so badly. His best friend was in the hospital because of him, because he was there. He cut him out of his life even though he knew that Taehyung was his everything. He made him smile, laugh, cry without meaning to and quite easily as well. Taehyung was always at his beck and call, always making sure to appease Jungkook, sacrificing his own happiness for the younger one. What was he looking for? People to adore him? Look up to him and surround him? What was the point of that if all those faces didn’t even care about him? He was just another pretty face with an inflated ego that no one would remember or care about after four years. Plus, he had already found that in Taehyung. Taehyung loved him, helped him, he was always there. Always. But Jungkook took it for granted. He’s such a fool.

So as the punch connected with his soft cheek, he could faintly hear the insults Hoseok was throwing, as he was too caught up in the pain of his mistake. He regrets it so much, he would give anything to take back his words and actions. He needed to apologize- no beg for Taehyung’s forgiveness, but the future is unknown.

One punch turns into two and three, Jungkook is now collapsed on the ground, another is about to connect if not for a short male pulling Hoseok off of him.

“Hoseok, stop, that’s enough” Jimin cries, pulling him away. “I know he deserves it, but we can go see Taehyung now, we’ll have to explain this in more detail later..” and lets go of him, only to turn and glare at Jungkook.

Hoseok harsh stare is followed by, “This isn’t the end Jungkook” as he begins to walk towards Taehyung’s room.

Jimin walks over to a now beat up Jungkook, now on his feet. Jungkook, expecting a bit more sympathy from his other good friend, receives nothing but a harsh slap across the face before turning on his heel and walking to Taehyung’s room.

Jungkook clutches his swollen cheek and also braces himself for entrance into his best friend’s room. There he lied, a tangle of needles and tubes, supported by a nasal cannula. A heart monitors tiny patters relays that even though the figure on the bed looks lifeless, he is indeed holding on by a thread.

Tears find themselves blurring Jungkook’s vision once again. It’s hard to lie when the truth is dying in front of you.

This isn’t Taehyung. This is a frail being enveloped in a thin hospital gown, snow white blanket not a far off match from his ghostly skin tone. Well-placed bandages line his arms, as well as secretly lining his torn up thighs beneath the gown. An IV drip providing nourishing fluids for his broken down body. However, a stark contrast to this is the figure’s face. It’s oddly peaceful, while not a smile gracing his lips, it is far from a grimace. Almost at peace with the situation at hand. His mind is clear of the nightmares he was once suffering.

Jungkook trudges to his bedside, not noticing an enraged Hoseok being held back by Jimin once again. He grasps the thin hand and quickly envelops it with his own. He lets out a few choked sobs at the realization. This is Taehyung. This is his best friend. This is the love of his life. This is his fault.

Tears fall onto Taehyung’s hand, Jungkook’s eyes clenched shut. He doesn’t notice the slight movement of the body below him, heavy eyes opening after a long slumber. Taehyung squeezes Jungkook’s hand, snapping open the younger’s eyes.

Jungkook’s mouth immediately opens, “Taehyung! You’re awake, I’m so sorr-“ but is soon cut off by a dry voice...

“Who are you?”