Seungkwan was not impressed. The showcase venue was hot with so many bodies packed into it. Sure, the weather was getting cool, enough so that he'd worn a long sleeve shirt, but lots of bodies in a close area meant heat. Was that kid with the duck hair's studio so dodgy they'd have a showcase in a venue without air conditioning?

Seungkwan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and fanned his face with the programme he'd found on his seat in the second row.

"Seungkwan, it isn't that hot. A little warm right now, but they'll turn on the aircon soon," Vernon told him from the seat to his left, Seungkwan puffed out his cheeks.

"But I'm hot now!" he whined, flopping against Vernon's shoulder. Vernon let him be and just took Seungkwan's programme. He opened it up in front of him so they could both see. Seungkwan scanned the list of performers and times to check when Duck Hair was on stage, so he knew when to distract Vernon. He needed to make enough of a distraction that Vernon wasn't completely focused on the kid, but not so much that he would be upset at him for making a ruckus.

Chan wasn't listed. Seungkwan scanned the piece of paper again in case he'd missed the name, but still no Chan.

"Is it just me or do we have the wrong event?" Junghan spoke up from the seat on the other side of Vernon.

"None of these performers have normal names, and I definitely can't spot 'Chan' written anywhere on here. I see a The8, a Hoshi, and a Dino, among a bunch of other weird names," Mingyu agreed from Seungkwan's right.

Joshua stood up. "I'll go ask someone, I'm the only one who bothered with a dress shirt."

Vernon pushed Seungkwan off of him and got up, too. "I'm the one that got given the tickets, I'll come to."

Joshua paused. "Your jeans have holes in them and you're wearing a black t-shirt. No."

"I bought them with the holes. At least I'm not wearing a tacky shirt with a tux printed on." The two turned pointedly to Dokyeom.

"The flyer Vernon got sent a picture of said smart casual! And my jeans are black!" he protested.

Joshua sighed. "That isn't what smart casual means, Dokyeom." He turned and started walking throw the row of chairs to the aisle. Vernon followed, and Seungkwan heard a "But you're ruining the aesthetic!" from Joshua.

Seungkwan felt his right arm get slapped lightly, and turned to Mingyu.

"You sure you can handle being at Vernon's alone tonight?" Mingyu asked in a whisper.

Seungkwan nodded. "Why wouldn't I, he's my best friend."

Mingyu snorted. "Because you're basically in love with him? And he's too blind to see it."

"It's just a crush, it'll pass."

"You've said that for four and a half years now. You're in love with him; all you ever do is talk about him at home and pretend he's your boyfriend."

"You take that back right now, Mingyu! I do not!" Seungkwan ordered, offended.

Mingyu shrugged. "You do. 'Oh Vernon, it's so hot! Oh Vernon, let's go buy low fat ice cream. Oh Vernon, I'll pick you up from class so you can't talk to that guy I think likes you! Vernon, pay attention to me! Let me read your messages over your shoulder like a possessive boyfriend, Vernon. Sit next to me everywhere. Vernonnie, let me lay all over you while you're focused on something else so you always know I'm right there! Vernon, let me breathe on your neck and in your ear whenever I can make it seem casual. Vernon, let me backhug you while everybody's looking!"

Seungkwan's eyes started tearing up. He didn't appreciate his behaviour being thrown back at him all at once. It made him realise how desperate he must seem to everyone else. Mingyu had seemed so casual as he'd done it, too - his voice had hardly raised above a whisper. Seungkwan was so obvious Vernon probably did know about his crush. A few tears slipped loose.

Mingyu's eyes softened. "I didn't mean it like that, Seungkwan. I'm just worried he'll say something not knowing it'll hurt you like he did Wednesday. I'm worried you'll hurt yourself playing pretend, or that Vernon'll notice you like him and do somethimg stupid."

Seungkwan raised a hand to wipe away the escaped tears.

"You promised yourself Wednesday afternoon you'd stop being like that Seungkwan. Stop stringing yourself along and pretending he likes you back."

Seungkwan nodded. He heard the loud whirring of what was probably the air con, but barely registered it. He had told himself he'd stop pretending Vernon liked him back, but then Vernon'd bought over food (low fat and sugar, even!) and wanted to make sure he was ok. Vernon made his heart sing, and his stomach soar with how many butterflies were always in it, and his dreams resembled a Girl's Generation music video.

Seungkwan couldn't quit being the way he was with Vernon cold turkey, he craved the other boy's now usual and constant affection and attention after just a couple hours away from him. Also, Vernon would notice and think something was wrong. He'd be completely frantic trying to figure out what was wrong with Seungkwan, what he'd done wrong to make his best friend act so differently towards him. It'd give Seungkwan even more to pretend with.

So Seungkwan had decided to ease into a normal friendship. He'd stop with the whispering into Vernon's ear and breathing all over his neck whenever he could get away with it. Then, he'd slow down with the constant touching and pandering for Vernon's attention. Finally, he'd let Duck Hair chat with him. If Seungkwan couldn't get anywhere romantically with Vernon after four and a half years, Chan definitely couldn't.

He'd planned to squash his feelings and shut them in a box deep in the depths of his heart, maybe find somebody else to distract him.

But then Vernon had invited him around for a sleepover, just the two of them. No Mingyu, no Dokyeom, no Junghan. Had seemed so excited for it, that Seungkwan thought maybe he did feel something for Seungkwan. Maybe all the little things Seungkwan thought meant something, like recently getting all "you're my best friend, let me take care of you" when he found out Jihoon had given him sachets of sugar, had meant something.

"It's the right place, everyone just has stage names," Joshua announced, pulling Seungkwan from his mind.

"Where's Vernon?" Mingyu asked casually.

Seungkwan found himself worried he was backstage with Duck Hair. Who knew what he'd try with his dancer friends around to egg him on.

"He went to the toilet. The first performance starts in ten."

Seungkwan dismissed the thoughts of Chan trying to mack on Vernon. The younger boy seemed too timid - he backed off trying to flirt with Vernon whenever Seungkwan glared at him. And Vernon definitely regarded him with platonic intentions, it would be funny how oblivious Vernon was to the poor boy if he wasn't equally as oblivious to Seungkwan.

Seungkwan blotted his eyes with his sleeve.

"You ok, Kwannie?" Vernon asked as he sat down. Of course Vernon would come back when he was trying to remove evidence of crying over his own stupid emotions for the clueless idiot. Luckily, he had a failsafe excuse.

Seungkwan nodded. "Yeah, just Mingyu sneezing in people's faces again."

"Hey!" Mingyu shouted, faking indignance. He was used to being thrown under the bus in situations like this.

Vernon cringed, no doubt remembering all the times he'd been the target of Mingyu's unhygienic habits. "Yup, ok. There were snacks, but I didn't get any because all of them looked fatty and sugary and it's unfair for you to miss out."

How? Could? He? Resist? Vernon did so many little things Mingyu, Junghan, and Dokyeom just wouldn't. Seungkwan was supposed to believe Vernon didn't feel something special for him?

Mingyu clapped Seungkwan's shoulder as he stood up. "I'm not missing out on food just because of your self imposed diet. I'll be back."

See, proving my point, he thought with all his sass.

The lights dimmed. Someone blonde appeared onstage and started talking. Seungkwan zoned out. He'd had three hours sleep between getting the week's homework done, packing to spend the next night at Vernon's, and deciding whether to wear suspenders or not with his chinos and light blue polo. He'd gone with a pair of suspenders that matched his faux leather shoes.

He was vaguely aware when a dancer appeared that looked like Duck Hair minus the duck hair. Seungkwan couldn't bring himself to care.

Who knows how much longer later, Vernon was shaking him awake. "I'm gonna go say hi to Chan, ok? Wait in the lobby with Joshua, mum'll be here to pick us up in fifteen."

Seungkwan nodded, still waking back up. Vernon left, and the group filed out into the lobby. Junghan and Dokyeom left together, after Junghan and Joshua exchanged cheesy goodbyes, kisses on the cheeks, and promises to text later.

Seungkwan sighed dreamily. "I hope I can be like that one day."

Joshua chuckled. "He'll come around."

"I hope so." Seungkwan let out a dejected puff of air. Mingyu elbowed him. Oh, he was supposed to be removing himself from the idea of dating Vernon. Right. Old habits died hard.

Seungkwan cleared his throat. "We aren't together."

Joshua quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't mention anyone in particular. I just meant, well - you're gay, right?" Seungkwan nodded, he wasn't ashamed to like boys. It wasn't like Joshua would think negatively of him for it like some would, either - he'd just been having an overly drawn out goodbye with  his very male soulmate. "Whoever it is, he'll come around, is what I meant."

Mingyu sat down on the floor against the nearest wall. Joshua went over and leaned against it. Seungkwan followed. Joshua was quite good looking, he mused. He'd been dressed well the couple of times Seungkwan'd seen him. Spoke well, if a little hesitantly. He ticked off almost every point on Seungkwan's checklist from what he'd gotten to know about him. He just wasn't Vernon.

But, that was the point of a distraction, wasn't it?

"So, did you get the marks looked at by a specialist? Are you and Junghan soulmates?" Mingyu asked.

"Yeah, we're soulmates. We had them looked at and they match perfectly."

Well, damn. He could still look though, couldn't he? He didn't want to get with Joshua, so he wasn't doing anything wrong.

Not long later, Mrs Chwe had dropped Mingyu off at home, where Seungkwan collected his overnight bag from, and they'd arrived safely at the Chwe residence. Seungkwan and Vernon had already put Seungkwan's bag in Vernon's room, and were now chilling on his bed watching YouTube videos on his laptop.

Vernon paused the fourth video they were going to watch just as it started. "Seungkwan, I have something I want to tell you."

Seungkwan directed his attention to Vernon. As if it wasn't already.

"I think Chan likes me? And, I don't know what to do."

Sirens went off in Seungkwan's head. "What do you mean?" He forced his tone to remain even.

Vernon swallowed. "He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. Or get something to eat, or go to a pet cafe. They sound like date activities to me."

"Aren't you straight? You like girls, Chan's a boy. Why's this bothering you?" There were only two options, go on a date or don't, one of which was a no-go to his straight friend.

Vernon shrugged. "I kinda never really cared if I got with a guy or a girl. Female's just kinda the default for me, I guess?"

Seungkwan had to force himself to calm down. See, he was never really an impossible dream, a voice in the back of his mind told him. Still doesn't mean he's interested, he had to tell himself. He had to think of something else. Something like...

How had he not know this earlier? He was Vernon's best friend. Best friends talk about their uality, don't they?

"Why'd you never tell me? Why am I just now finding out after almost five years of friendship?" Seungkwan demanded.

Vernon shrugged again. "Never seemed important?"

Seungkwan had spent the last four years crying and worrying because he'd never have a chance with Vernon and Vernon hadn't thought his not caring wasn't important? Really, if Seungkwan had known this little nugget of information, or had just plucked up some courage and asked Vernon out in the last four years (second year of middle school hadn't been a great year for Seungkwan, so he definitely wouldn't have asked Vernon out then) he could be pressed up against Vernon kissing him, or doing god knows what to him, right now. Seungkwan felt cheated. He could have better grades, could've gotten more sleep over the last few years, could have a gorgeous boyfriend to flex his teenage hormones with. Who was Vernon to deny him that?

"Give him a chance then. One date, to see if you like him." Seungkwan couldn't belive he'd just said that. He was growing so much as a person.

Seriously though, Chan really better not get anywhere with Vernon.

Vernon nodded. "I don't see why not. I'll message him now."

Seungkwan facepalmed internally. It had suddenly just gotten much harder to not think of Vernon as a potential boyfriend and to try stop being so jealous.

==========

A/N:

So, interesting chapter, eh?

I decided I'd use my title "Apple Initials and Thumbprint Soulmates", it had pretty good feedback both on AO3 and AFF, so next update this story will be called that. Just wanted to let you all know so you don't get all "what story is this? when did i subscribe to that?" when I update with that as the title. Happens to me, I hate it.