EPISODE 26

 

Please listen to Super Junioe K.R.Y - Coagulation or VIXX - Error ( Instrumental Ver) ..when you read this episode . 

 

LEE YA NA   The moment I enter the operation room the heart monitor machine produce flat line beep and Dr.Cho was busy massaging a kid's chest . He's trying hard save the children's life and I would do the same thing too if I'm in his shoes.   " Dr.Cho..." I murmured. When I knew that my service was no longer needed, I decided to leave. I can't wait to bake a Strawberry Cheesecake for Minguk. Today would be the happiest day in my life as I get to see my sister and Minjoo back. I've texted Woohyun to buy some grocery because we would cook together for Minjoo's family.   Not even two steps I took , I heard a lie.   " Nam Minguk , death time is 3:59 "   " Nam Minguk , death time is 3:59 "   " Nam Minguk , death time is 3:59 "   "Wh.." No! I must have heard wrong. It is not my Minguk . It is not my baby ! It was someone else. No ! It has to be someone else.   " Dr.Song ,I'll meet his parent and announce his death. So please bring the body to the hospital morgue" I heard footsteps come towards my back and then he said while putting his hand on my right shoulder.   " I'm sorry " sorry for what ?!!! I want to ask him a lot of question but my mouth don't let me so. I want to say something but it was voiceless. I saw his back view fading away and never come back.   " Dr.Lee , you may want to look at your son for the last time"   " No !!" it is not my Minguk . There must have been some mistakes. Minguk is...   " Omma , I want to eat strawberry cheesecake . Can you make it ? "   Yes..Minguk is waiting for me in the house.   " Anyeong omma ... muahhhh "   Minguk is...   " Dr.Lee...I know it must have been hard for you but please for Minguk's sake just ..... "   " Shut up !!! It is not Minguk "   " Then look at the body by yourself !!! "  I have to confirm it using my own eyes. Each step that I took was heavy like a big stone tied up around my leg but I have to move on. I don't know what should I do if he was indeed my baby..The reason is I'm not ready to lose anyone. I'm not ready to lose someone that I love anymore.   " Fine!!!! I'll prove it to you that ..... "   " Omma !! Saranghae "   " No way " I murmured and breath heavily when I saw my baby laid on the  operation table helplessly . His body was fragile, his lips turned blue and he stop breathing.   " Dr.Lee !! " Hee Jun manage to catch my body before I'm collapsed.   I felt dizzy.   I can't breathe.   I feel lost.   " Min..minguk-ah ..." my lips shivering when I called his name. What is happening ? How can he be here ? How can my baby can be here ?   " Minguk-ah , wake up please !! You are sleeping right ? " I shake his body repeatedly and he showed no response. I try again.   " Minguk-ah , omma is here. You have to wake up. Min Joo is waiting for you . Everyone is waiting for you ...please" I talk to him more and usually he will answered but not now. I cried so hard until I don't see his face so clearly.   " Minguk-ah , please " I clasp his hand tightly and kiss it repeatedly.   "Dr.Lee , enough " Hee Jun try to pull me but I'm not stir. I won't let Minguk go.   "What is happening????!!!! " I'm shouting loudly and then continued with low voices.. " how can my baby was here ? "   " His allergic "   " Allergy ? "   " . .. what do you want to eat ? "    " Egg roll ? "   " Yeobo , I will pack him a piece of egg roll . Eating one won't hurt him "    " I..I..I just give him one egg roll ...is it affect him these much ? " I asked Dr.Song but she didn't reply me. His wrist that I clasped tightly just now , I release it slowly. So , everything is my fault ?   " Dr.Lee..."   " Minguk-ah..." I look at Minguk back. This time I walk backwards step by step as I realized slowly that Minguk is gone ! He's gone because of me . He's gone because of my negligence. After I lean against the wall , I turn back and knock my head hardly against the wall while saying;   " Omma mianhae ...omma mianhae .. I'm stupid mom !!! "   " Dr.Lee you may hurt yourself !! " she's stopping me but I knock my head harder than before .   "  I'm a stupid mom !!! I should just be dead !!! "   " Dr.Lee !! Stop!! "   " I should die !!! You don't have to die like this !! I'm a bad mom !! “   “ Dr.Lee please stop!!” she hugs me tightly until we fall on the floor together. Then only I realized that Hee Jun also crying with me and hugs me tightly. Her condition cause me to cry more because I know her daughter was dead last year because of car accident.   “ I know the feel of losing someone . I know “ she said while sobbing on my shoulders.   “Don’t worry because I will ask Ha Ru to take care of Minguk “ thank you Song Hee Jun. The blood from the accident earlier flow slowly and then only I felt the pain.   “I’m a bad mom, am I?”   “ I can’t stop blaming myself since the accident. But then only I realized that this was destiny. We all will die but the matter here is time”   “But why Minguk has gone so sooner!!!! He supposed to leave when I’m gone!!” I cried harder.   “ Ya Na-ah, cry all out . Cry until you won’t feel the pain anymore”   “Nam Woo Hyun is my father and Lee Ya Na is my mother . So there’s no one would take that from me , forever”   NAM WOO HYUN   I lean my head on the wall helplessly while looking at the entrance of operation room hoping that my son will run to me and said he was okay. Min Guk is a boy that loves to run every time he wanted to say something important. For instances , “ Appa!! I got five stars from teacher today!!” or “ Appa! I’m not crying . I’m a strong boy!!” or “ Appa , my friends said I have a handsome father” .   " Minguk-ah , please be strong " I send the message to him through telepathy. No matter how much I tried to think positive things , the negative thought would merge in other ways.   " Twinkle , twinkle little star ( Minguk) , how I wonder what you are  ( I really hope you’re going to be okay ) . Up above the world so high..( even though , you’re just 20 metres apart , why I feel you’re so far?) " I sing the exact same song that Minguk loves to sing but with different feelings. I have never thought that this song was sad to sing at the first place.   " Minguk-ah , we're stronger when we are together right ? So please don't leave your dad . I love you so much " after that the operation room door slide and a doctor appeared from it. His expression is not something that I hoped for. It is full of agony and sorrowfulness.   " Mr.Nam , I'm sorry " he gave me Minguk's wooden bracelet and my eyes fall onto it. What he meant by that ? Why he said sorry to me ?  He wouldn’t said that unless he…   " Minguk-ah hold this bracelet until the end of his breath so it must be meant something to him" he pat my back twice and leave.   " the end of his breath ? " I kneel down pathetically while holding the wooden bracelet tightly. I feel sad but I don't cry because it feels like a dream . It feels like Minguk was at home right now and I'm ready to go home. Minguk cannot leave me like this. He can’t…   Kring Kring Kring   The call was from home.   “ Hello”   “Appa! Where are you ? Minjoo , Omma , everyone was here . Why you didn’t come home yet?” it was Minguk’s voice but the doctor told me that..   " Mr.Nam , I'm sorry "   “Ne?” is this really a dream?   “Appa, please be faster. I’m so hungry right now”   " Minguk-ah hold this bracelet until the end of his breath…”   “ Ne, I’ll go home right now”  I hang up and keep the phone on my pocket.   " Hahahahahah " I laugh loudly after I realized that it's all a dream .   " Stupid namu ! " I should go home right now. Ah, why I’m here at the first place? Ya Na and Minguk must have been waiting for me for a long time.   Minguk-ah, honestly I feel scared to death when you said ;   " Appa , today you do not have to wait for me in front of the apartment anymore "   My institutions said that there must be something bad will happen to you. Every time, you act weird from your usual self, I’ll be the most worried person.     " Woohyun-ah !! " Ya Na's sister ran towards me and I feel weird when she is here.   " What are you doing here ? " I ask her.   " Ne ? You called me and tell Minguk was at the hospital . How was he ? "   " He's okay and he is not here . I'm going home right now" Ha Na grab my clothes and staring at me.   “I’m from your house and no one was there. Woohyun-ah,what happened?”   I look at her blankly.   I’m confused.   “Woohyun-ah, tell me something please” she keeps shaking up my body but I won’t budge. I’m in daze. I kept thinking what actually is happening and suddenly I was in front of hospital reception desk.   " Hello nurse , patient name Nam Min Guk, how was he ? " Ha Na asked her. I can’t look at anyone’s faces right now because I don’t have energy to do that. I’m scared.   " Nam Min Guk ? "   “ Ne”   “ Do you mean Dr.Lee’s son?”   “ Ne”   “He just passed away and supposedly he was at the hospital morgue right now” less than a second , I stare sharply at the nurse because I know what I have heard is wrong. Minguk called me just now and he said he is waiting for me.   “ Omo omo omo omo Minguk-ah” Ha Na cupped tightly.   “ Please check it again nurse..it must have been some …”   “I’m sorry Ma’am. I’m sorry for your lost”   “Woohyun-ah…” she turn back and cried hysterically on my shoulders. Seeing her reaction caused me to fall a tear. One drop, two drops , five drops and until I can’t count anymore.   I cried.   I cried my eyes out.   This is so painful and I can’t take it anymore.   “ Be strong Woohyun-ah” when she said that suddenly I felt someone hug my thights. It is happened to be Minjoo who was also crying sadly.   “ Minjoo-ah , you don’t have to cry. Minguk-ah, will feel sad if he saw you like this” because of I cried too much, my voices turned so husky.   “ Woohyun ahjusshi , should I accompany Minguk at heaven ? He must feel lonely” instead of replying her question I grab her shoulders and hug her tightly . I’m so touched when she said that. I ask her not to cry but I can’t do the same thing I asked her.   “ You don’t have to do that.Minguk-ah is a strong boy so he can keep up with this alone” my mouth said that but my heart is not. My heart still can’t let him go. My heart still can’t let him go ….. yet.   +++   Morgue room , is a place for the dead. I’ve never been here before because my parents still alive and I don’t have close friends who is dead. Never once crossed my mind that I’m here because of my precious son.I’m so anxious but Ha Na shows her stoic face. Probably, this situation is com