January, 25, 2015 (84 days until death).

The days had flown by to Luhan. Between walking on eggshells around Sehun and reevaluating his friendship with Baekhyun, the days didn't have much substance. After the misconducted kiss between the two, communications were strained.

It didn't surprise Luhan that Sehun didn't dote on him as much as usual. In fact, he expected it. In the realistic aspect of things, he'd basically kissed himself. Maybe it was time to add narcissism to the list of things he thought wrong with himself.

“Sehun, are you mad at me?” Luhan had broken down and finally decided to talk to Sehun after a long day of avoidance.

“Are you mad at yourself?”

“Yeah.” Luhan felt his hand being engulfed by Sehun's larger cold hand. He'd almost forgotten how cold Sehun was.

“I'm not mad at you, Lu.”

After sitting in silence for an hour, Luhan spoke again.

“Sehun, do you think I'm crazy?”

“Absolutely.”

“Wha-”

“But, I don't think you're crazy because of me. You have a cavalcade of more concerning screws loose.”

“That's not funny, Sehun.”

“I wasn't joking.”

Another two hours went by in comfortable silence before words were uttered once more.

“Sehun...kiss me again.”

“No, Lu.”

January, 27, 2015 (82 days before death).

The bruises on Luhan's lips have healed, but they've been replaced by a pattern of scratches on his hand.

Though there is still doubt in his mind about Sehun's stability, Luhan remained comforted by the fact that Sehun was with him now. His time spent sans Sehun's company was spent in a daze. New school rumors made their debut and saw their fall. People had even gotten brave enough to personally ask Luhan how he was doing. He knew that each question was less genuine than the one it proceeded, but his dazzling imagination let him feel comforted. His imagination let him feel happy.

In Luhan's eyes, reality was just as intangible as imagination, and happiness was even more so. One could pretend to love, just as one could pretend to feel loved. One could pretend to care, just as one could pretend to feel cared about. Maybe he was crazy. It would make sense. To him, it would make sense if everyone was a bit out of their minds.

In a world of pretend love and intangibility, why couldn't Sehun be real?

He was just as real as the words people spoke on a daily basis.

He held as much meaning as those words.

So, why couldn't he be real?

Moreover, why couldn't it be just as real for Luhan to be in love?

He could pretend.