(Tiffany's POV)

This is my chance. I keep complaining about our time that seems never matched. And now there is just the two of us in my room. Even better, she's just indirectly saying that she missed you today, Tiffany! 

It's now or never.

"Tae, may i ask you something?"

"Sure." She nodded and shifted a bit to face me.

Don't look at her eyes. Don't look at her eyes. It will only make you get more nervous. I told myself.

"Remember when i was in the hospital, i was asking you something." I paused and wait for her response.

"Go on." She encouraged me to continue.

"I asked you, d-do you love me. And you said yes. Right?" Please say yes or else i will just kill my ownself because of this embarrassement.

"Yeah, i did."

"A-are you being serious, Tae? I-i mean i always thought you hate me. Well at least, didn't really like me."

"I used to. But not anymore." She calmly answered.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just do."

"So you really love me?" 

"I do. I love you as a friend, Fany-ah. And i like you as a person."

There goes my heart..

We're not in the same boat, Taeyeon-ah. I should have know it.

You like me as a person, and love me as a friend. While me? I don't like you. I love you, not as a friend, but as a person. I love you in the way you will never could understand. Because you will never love me that way. I'm such an idiot. How can i expect you to love me the way i love you? Too good to be true, Tiffany Hwang. Wake up now. Because your sweet dream is over.

*****

Ever since that night when Taeyeon indirectly rejected me, indirectly because first i didn't confess but she already made herself clear and second, because she didn't even know that she had break my heart that night.

Now not that only my sweet dream has over, i also had to face the thing i fear the most.

Taeyeon and i become close friends. She became too comfortable around me like we're old buddies. I can't pushed her away this time because i know it will be fruitless. She already liked me, as a person and care for me, love me, as a friend, as her member. I can no longer running away from her. It will only make her hate me for real this time if i did that and i'm not sure if i want that to happen.

So i decided to throw away my mask and let her love me, again, as her friend. I mean, how bad it would be, right? Even though she can't love me back, at least we're good friends now. We talked, we joked, we bickered, we did almost everything together. Sometimes it scares me because when she's obviously enjoying our new built friendship, i in the other hand, find myself keep falling for her. This is exactly why i wanted her to stay away from me. So everything will be easier for me to take care of my fragile heart.

"Fanyyyy~" She knocked on my bedroom's room.

"Come in, Tae."

Soon i saw her face, grinning like a kid at me. She looks extremely happy and i'm wondering why.

"You look extremely happy, leader-nim." I said and grinned back at her. I can't help it, her smile, her laugh, everything about her is just so contagious. 

"I am, Fany-ah. I am." She plopped down herself beside me and then proceed to hug one of my arms, make it as her bolster.

Ah, right. She becomes clingier too. Not that i complain.

"Wae? Something good happened?" I asked as i closed my eyes, trying to focusing on anything else but her soft hand that now playing with my fingers.

"Remember Dean?"

"That solo singer who collaborated with us in our upcoming comeback?"

"Yeah. Him." Taeyeon said and smiled wider at the mention of his name. Now i start to have a bad feeling about where this conversation might lead to.

"What's with him?" I braced myself and asked her.

"He texted me last night. And we kinda talk until late night. We only stopped when i can no longer keep my eyes open. But we continue texting each other today." She happily told me.

"You like him? I mean like, atttacted to him?" I'm not stupid and i hate to beat around the bush. Even though at this rate i can already feel how my heart painfully clenching on the inside.

"I-i think so. I-is that a bad thing, Fany-ah?" She nervously stuttered.

"No. It's not." Hell yes. It's a very bad thing for my heart. But if it makes you happy, then no, it's not a bad thing.

"Fany, you're the only one i can talk to. I can't talk about this kind of things with the other member because they are our dongsaeng. they are younger than me. How could an unnie bothers her dongsaeng about her love life, right? That's just ridiculous. And surely i can never talk about it with our manager and management because they will kill me right after i told them about what i feel toward Dean." Taeyeon chuckled.

"Yeah. You can always talk to me." I weakly replied. Don't cry, Tiffany. Don't cry. At least not now. Not when Taeyeon is still here with you.

 **********

It took 3 months, 3 months of secret meetings, 3 months of constant daily non stop texting and late night phone calls, before Dean officially asked Taeyeon out as his date. 3 months of courting before Taeyeon said 'yes' to him when he asked her to be his girlfriend and make their relationship officially. Officially for the two but they will hide it from the management and public because dating is still forbidden for both of them.

And guess tonight will be another night i have to cry myself to sleep.

"Unnie, you're going out again tonight?" Hani asked Taeyeon who just came out from her room, look stunning with her make up and pretty one piece that she wears.

"Yeah. I'm meeting a friend." Yeah friend. Boy-friend.

"Okay then. Stay safe, unnie." Hani told her.

"I will, Hani-yah. See you guys later." She ruffled Hani's hair a bit and then walked to me to give me a quick goodbye/seeyou(?) hug. I don't know whether she realized it or not, but i di