I wondered, if it was a bad joke. It had to be, right? I was sitting at home in the evening and sipping from the cold can of beer. The TV was on but I couldn´t focus on the show at all. Donghae´s words kept ringing like some kind of spell and I was unable to stop gripping the armrest of the brown sofa. Donghae wanted me to kill him.

I finished the beer and put the empty can on the coffee table. I picked up my phone and opened the browser. I tried to look up some articles about suicides but no description actually fit Donghae. And to be honest, I wasn´t ready to neither kill him nor save him. I wasn´t a psychologist or unconditionally selfless person. On the other hand I was a pacifist and in no way I would be able to live with the guilt, if I really killed the guy. What I´m afraid of the most is that he would somehow force me to hurt him.

I didn´t have any shift tomorrow and even that was scaring me. Would he wait there for me? Should I leave at least a message for Donghae? The calm me was becoming anxious for no reason. I groaned and threw the phone on the carpet, then I closed my eyes and reclined my head. I didn´t practise at all for the past three days. Should I do it now? But it´s late already. Nah, I will wake up earlier tomorrow before I go to the studio, that´s what I decided and it somehow calmed me down. I stood up and disappeared in the bathroom.

The next morning I really woke up earlier and took Choco on the leash. We ran out of the house and headed to the park. Choco was a little dog so after a few meters, and a leak, I had to put her into the backpack that she was by now very much used to. Like that I continued across the bridge and into the supermarket. I bought myself small breakfast and a bottle of cold water. After the refreshment I headed back to the park.

“Hey, Hyukjae!” I stopped running and raised my head. In front of me was standing Donghae. He was wearing long autumn coat and blue scarf. He seemed surprised.

“Where are you going? The zoo is this way,” he gestured to the right.

“Oh, I work only three to four days a week actually,” I said although I knew that he would have something stupid to say.

“And you pay the bills with what, apart from your charm?” Donghae of course snorted and raised his brows.

“I have two jobs,” I spat, “and somebody who isn´t doing anything at all should stay quiet.”

“I do have a job for your information and it´s better paid than all your useless part-times,” the brunette bastard was visibly annoyed by the fact that I´m not going to the zoo today. “And what´s the other job you do?” He added casually.

“Not your business,” I told him and realised that I was getting once again worked up by this guy. “Have a nice day, Donghae,” I said with a forced smile and passed him without turning around once.

I returned home, where I fed Choco. I took a shower and dressed up. Putting on a black jacket and scarf, I grabbed my bag and locked the door. I realised I forgot the headphones but I could still hear Choco´s lonely barking and decided to not give her false hopes that I´m already back. But I regretted not having the way to completely shut the outside noise with some good music.

“That was fast, so where are we going?” Donghae was waiting in front of my house.

“What are you doing here?” I barked right away. He´s seriously going overboard.

“Hyukjae, think, please,” Donghae rolled his eyes at me, “of course I followed after you because we´re going to your other job together.”

“This is illegal! I don´t want you to go!” I was about to get a panic attack because this man was becoming scary.

Instead of being terrified of killing him, I began worrying, if it wouldn´t be in the end me, who would get hurt. Is Donghae dangerous? I can´t know. I have no idea, who this person is in reality. Maybe he isn´t a suicide at all. Possibly, is this a trap? Did I fall into some kind of fraud or bad deed that would cost me my money or even life? Neven in my life I´ve felt as insecure as now at this moment.

“Perhaps,” Donghae smirked, “are you doing some shady job? Is that it, Hyukjae?”

“W-What? N-No way!” All my previous feelings got completely shadowed by embarrassment. How did he come up with something like that? “I have normal job!” I protested and my heart threatened to escape from my chest.

“Well, if you want me to believe you, then you should show me,” Donghae said with uncertain expression.

“Fine,” I mumbled in defeat. I was worried that if I declined, my heart would have to go through more stress.

We walked to the bus stop and took a bus towards the city center. Donghae was throwing one question after another, sometimes with hurtful remarks in between, but I ignored him. I said I was tired after the morning exercise and leaned my head against the window lifelessly. We got off after twenty minutes and from there it was only a short walk.

“This is it?” Donghae glanced at me weirdly. “Cleaning again?” He added.

“Yeah, something like that,” I answered him pissed because I was all the more aware that I hated the guy.

We entered a small private theatre and walked through the dark foyer. Today it was only practice so except for the backstage the lights were turned off. On the familiar grounds I was slowly gaining back my confidence and my step became faster. I almost felt like if I managed to get backstage, I would be saved.

“Yah, wait for me!” Donghae called and rushed to me. But by then I already managed to open the door and the light and ruckus enveloped me.

“Hyukjae, hello!” First of many greetings once I stepped on the busy hallway. People were chatting or being on the phone, the studio was also full of people that were snacking or going through the script. The present noise and liveliness was like my second home. And apparently the opposite for Donghae.

I turned around, if I was still being followed and caught a glimpse of the very much shaken brunette. Donghae was trying to avoid any human contact by pretending to be a liquid and slipping in between the people. His stare was desperately fixed on my shoes and I was only itching to run away into the crowd. Yet I stayed in one place and waited for the anxious man to get to me. Once Donghae stopped in front of me, his expression changed.

“Get me out,” he said angrily as if I came to this place just to annoy him. Nevertheless I was glad he wasn´t fond of the theatre because I didn´t want him to follow me here on usual basis too. I would feel guilty, if he started annoying my friends from the troupe.

“Nobody´s holding you, just go,” I answered confidently. It was suddenly very easy to set Donghae straight because I was on my territory and every single person in this building would be on my side, if the brunette would open his rude mouth. But Donghae was only aware of his own status quo and was oblivious of mine. That´s why he made a fatal mistake.

“Don´t act like you are something more than a good for nothing and do what I say!” Donghae´s stress reached its limit and he flared up. But the sudden quietness in the room finally warned him that around him wasn´t just an anonymous crowd, that this was a community into which he, unfortunately, didn´t belong.

“What are you yelling here for?” Handsome face scrunched roughly as the strong man walked closer to us.

“I´m not afraid of you,” Donghae pretended to be brave. He probably hoped that nobody would dare to hurt him because that would be against the law.

“You don´t have to be afraid, only quiet,” Kangin said and knocked Donghae down in one blow.

fanservice:

Fan: Eunhyuk oppa’s xylophone playing is great!

Eunhyuk: this xylophone was originally mine. I am the best player in all of KBS!

Hello! Some new characters in the game! Also after like a year or more I´m adding some fanservice to every chapter for you, favourite quotes. Enjoy and have a nice day. - PandaHero