“Ah, Hyukjae! I was looking for you!” I turned around and saw Yesung running to me in the big rubber shoes. His green padded jacket was flailing and he had a wide smile on his lips.

“Is something the matter?” I asked with the shovel in my hands.

Cold Monday morning felt refreshing after the previous busy week. Although my hands were freezing and the tip of my nose could match probably Rudolph´s, I felt really eager to work hard this week. Maybe a little too eager.

“You tell me, wasn´t the premiere of your musical on Friday? How did it go?” Yesung asked once he caught his breath after the furious running.

“Fine,” I answered curtly.

“Oh, you are still mad I couldn´t come, right?” His face then made a very guilty expression and I had to hurriedly cover for my mistake.

“Of course not! It´s not like you can go anywhere else but on a date when it´s your girlfriend´s birthday,” I chuckled. I loved to for being so whipped.

“I already bought tickets for the next showing, we are going, don´t worry,” Yesung was still wearing that guilty face which made me feel really bad.

“I told you, I´m not mad,” I smiled, “on the other hand! I´m happy you are coming this weekend, thank you.”

“If you aren´t mad at me, is something going on? You don´t look as hyped as usually after a premiere,” I managed to erase the guilt from the taller male´s face but the worry was still there. I hated his character. He would always feel obligated to care about me. These days I was becoming sensitive towards my protectors. Yet it was my fault in the first place for making them worry and so I had no right to lash out at them for invading my private life. I sent them an invitation after all.

“Just tired,” I answered and tried to create a big smile but of course that kind of charade wouldn´t work on him.

“Liar, spill it, Hyukjae,” the tone was suddenly commanding and exactly as Donghae always complained, I pulled my tail between my legs and blabbered it all out.

“Everyone was busy to come and then I met Donghae by chance,” I took out the part where he was trying to jump off of a building, “so I invited him to the premiere and he seemed to be interested.”

“That suicide Donghae?” Yesung frowned. “Let me guess, he didn´t come.”

All I could do was to nod my head. I was foolish to expect he would come. There were so many reasons for him to not see me but I was for some stupid reason too blind to see it. He had better things to do, hated the theatre and especially the troupe. Maybe he was afraid of Kangin or just simply didn´t feel it was worth coming just for the second guy in the crowd. And in the end he didn´t fancy me that much.

“You are so dumb, Hyukjae,” Yesung sighed and this time it was me frowning at him, “because you are too kind,” he finished and patted my shoulder friendly. “You think I don´t see it? No matter how much you try to shake that bastard off, it´s no use because deep down you keep being worried. You are just that type of a guy.”

“That didn´t sound like a compliment,” I huffed.

“Oh, but it definitely was,” Yesung made me look into his eyes as if I was a small child being comforted by a grandpa or something. “Being gentle requires as many efforts as being strong and I respect you for that.”

If I paid more attention to his words and not the embarrassing pose we were sporting in the middle of the zoo, I would have taken those wise words to heart. And maybe, if I accepted them, my future would have less hardships. But at that time I was too distracted and too unprepared for Yesung´s salvation. Life is a little more complicated when you live it.

“Thanks,” I answered him nevertheless and he let go of my shoulders.

“Let´s get back to work and cheer up, I´m sure you were awesome,” Yesung ruffled my hair to add the last point to the ridiculous scene and walked away.

“Yeah,” I sighed and wiped my nose into the sleeve.

The rest of the day passed by way too slowly. I was deep in thoughts all the time and had to redo my work that I kept ruining. Unfocused and annoyed by everything that came across me. I decided to avoid Yesung and others for as much as possible because I didn´t want to be rude to anyone. I wasn´t in mood for absolutely anything except being angry at myself.

Even Choco wasn´t able to help me cheer up. When I took the puppy out for a walk in the evening, I felt only tired and cold. Where has the warm autumn gone to? Didn´t they say it would be nice weather this week? So why is it so cold and gloomy? Stupid forecast. I tsk´ed and kicked a stone on the ground.

“Not in the mood?” I jerked when I realised there was somebody close to me.

“Donghae?” I breathed out in relief but Choco´s reaction was completely different as the dog began furiously barking at the brunette. “Quiet!” I hissed making the fluffy ball go silent in a second.

“It always amazes me how you have that fellow tamed,” Donghae smirked, “if only you could do that even when speaking to humans.” He teased.

“I´m going home,” I announced not wanting to react to his remark. Because, after all, I was the most angry at Lee Donghae.

“What´s with you? Are you ignoring me?” He said as I turned to walk home. “It´s not like you.” That sentence made me stop abruptly.

“And what am I like?” I snapped. “What do you know about me, Donghae? Have you ever tried to even find out anything about me?” He opened his lips but I wasn´t going to let him speak. “Not! But why, right? It´s not like I´m that important. It´s just enough you remember my name so you could call me whenever you wish!”

I didn´t know, why I was being so emotional. Yesung and Kangin were both right, I should have abandoned Donghae long time ago. Now it´s only bringing troubles to me. How am I supposed to handle the guy when I have such a hard time coping with myself? I was being naïve when I hoped I could stop him from hurting himself. I should have avoided him and just let him die. But I wasn´t even capable of that. I was going to destroy myself for a foolish reason. And you know what? I feel super bad now. I feel bad for yelling at Donghae. Idiotic, isn´t it? Yeah.

“Hyukjae?” I raised my head. I knew I was crying again and I expected Donghae to get mad over it at me but instead he walked slowly closer. “Have you eaten? Let´s stop by the vendor on your street. They sell delicious noodles.”

“Uh,” I was unable to comprehend because I was really exhausted. And so I just blindly followed behind Donghae.

We really bought the noodles and sat down by the stall. Choco was tied to my chair and begging me for some meat which I couldn´t deny the poor animal. I didn´t give the dog a single pat today. When I raised up from under the table, I noticed Donghae looking at me weirdly. He was thinking and sometimes it even looked as if he would speak up. Did he have something to say to me?

“I think that something happened but I wonder, if you would tell me,” he in the end gathered enough courage or whatever it was and asked me.

“Yeah,” I muttered, “I don´t have any reason to tell you,” I sipped the thick broth from my spoon. “And it´s about you anyway.” I added and that made Donghae let go of his bowl.

“Tell me,” he ordered because as we both knew, I would listen.

“You didn´t come,” I said frowning. Luckily the food was delicious and my mood stopped swaying. I calmed down as my body warmed up.

“Ah, the theatre,” Donghae realised, “it´s not that I didn´t want to come, Hyukjae. I was writing a project and time slipped through my fingers, it happens sometimes. When I looked at the clock, it was already too late.”

“Whatever you say,” I didn´t try to guess, if he was lying or not.

“It´s the truth,” Donghae was for some reason bothered by my passivity, “trust me! I will make sure to see you on stage, Hyukjae!” I raised my head from the food at the strange fella yelling all over the street. “So stop making that angry face at me!”

Oh, so that´s what it was about?

Fanservice:

If the maknae line goes for the military service next year, the maknae in Super Junior will be, born in 1985, Kangin.

Welcome to Super Junior, where like this happens all the time.

Hello! In this chapter are hidden a few hints of the way the story is going to follow so enjoy. Oh, I´m not sure, if I´ve mentioned this already but I honestly think that Hyukjae looks super hot with his short hair and in that uniform. Especially as the Gunper Junior platoon leader! :D Thank you for reading and commenting! - PandaHero