To say I was hurt would be understatement. I was ing depressed after what Donghae told me. Friday night I was sprawled on the sofa and drinking soju all by myself. Choco was hiding under my bed because she hated when I reeked of alcohol. So even though the dog wanted to cheer me up, it was scared to even come out of the bedroom.

I didn´t know Donghae´s words would bug me to this extend. Even if he didn´t enjoy the show, there were many things he could have said instead of it being a waste of time. I might have not danced many times and I rarely opened my mouth to sing but I was sure that I was good. I didn´t do a single mistake and I looked cool, didn´t I? It was seriously disappointing that Donghae couldn´t even praise me for something like that. Just a little would be enough. Being honest is nice but a white lie here and there wouldn´t hurt, would it?

What am I saying… The truth is that I´m not actually angry at Donghae but at myself. The reason I wanted Donghae to see me dance so much was because I wanted to show off. I hoped he would say things he doesn´t usually say. I tried to make him like me. I hoped he would say that I´m not a good for nothing after all and that there are things that even someone like me can do. In the end I was just selfish. I tried to use Donghae to boost my own ego.

My personality might be as rotten as Donghae´s. Or worse! Donghae must have suffered a trauma perhaps that turned him into a desperate suicide. I couldn´t imagine what could have happened to him but the fact was, that nothing happened to me. I had a nice family with loving parents and mischievous older sister. Two interesting jobs, a small house and cool bicycle. I had Choco to welcome me at home instead of long number of my ex-girlfriends nowadays and bunch of good friends that were there for me whenever I needed them. I was being spoiled my whole life and now came the moment when I had to realise my luck. Donghae was completely right, I shouldn´t have taken everything for granted and overuse the protectiveness of my friends.

“Damn it!” I cursed and fisted my hair.

But when I was about to pull even harder on my scalp, the doorbell rang. Choco rushed out of her hiding place and took a stance in front of the door. It was barking and raising the front legs into the air. I sighed and stood up. I wasn´t in the mood for guests. I opened the front door and commanded Choco to retreat.

“Hyukjae!” Kangin was standing by the door with a pack of beers in one hand and somebody´s collar in the other. I followed the collar and realised that it was actually Donghae levitating in the air.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I blinked looking at both Kangin and suffocating Donghae.

“Oh, this?” The big actor let go of the brunette and grinned. “I came to visit you and found this guy lurking around your house so I brought him with me.”

“I see,” was the only thing I could say and opened the door wider. It´s not like I could close it into Kangin´s face. That would be dangerous so I let him in. My boss, though, once again grabbed Donghae´s collar and tugged him inside against his will. I stayed quiet.

“Give that to me, I will put it in the fridge,” I offered and took the pack of beers.

I rushed to the kitchen to take a breather. I was so afraid of many things. That Kangin would see right through my depressed mood and that Donghae would get into a fight. I was still too ashamed to even look into Donghae´s eyes. My confidence was at the lowest right now and I could barely register the surroundings with the alcohol in my system. I haven´t eaten and drank a lot in a short time. It was no good even for a good drinker like me. I took a deep breath but then the doorbell rang again. What now?

“So rude, Hyukjae!” Was the first thing Yesung said after I opened the door for him. “I walked my girl home just so I could get back here and give you nice scolding.”

“I´m sorry,” I apologised because I realised  like a hundredth mistake I´ve made today. Yesung came to watch the musical but I didn´t even go to greet him in the confusion, I didn´t answer my phone and after the performance I rushed home like a bullet train.

“Sorry my , you are treating me to dinner tonight!” Yesung roared and invited himself. “Oh, you already have guests?” He stopped in front of the living room.

“You are Yesung, right?” Kangin smiled. “I´m sure, we´ve already met a few times in the theatre.”

“True, Hyukjae introduced you,” Yesung returned the smile, “Kangin, if I´m not mistaken.”

“No, you are right and this is-“

“Donghae, I know that kid already,” Yesung then interrupted Kangin´s speech and frowned at Donghae.

This was the worst thing that could have happen. I was one hundred percent sure that both older men came just because I was acting weird. No matter what they would say, they are here out of worry. What a great timing to bring Donghae too. What was he doing in front of my house anyway? Just a coincidence?

“Where´s the supper, Hyuk, huh?” Kangin then turned to me and I ran off to the kitchen again.

I put out three glasses and soju. Chewy snacks to go with it and while I was at it, I called for a delivery. Some chicken would be good, I should at least treat them to a good food. That´s the best I can do at the moment. I just hope everything ends quickly because I feel like crying right now.

I brought all the prepared stuff to the living room and found there the three men having fun. I already expected that Yesung and Kangin would go along well, they were the same age too but I would have never predicted that Donghae could be having fun too. I placed the food and drinks on the coffee table and sat down on the carpet.

“So you were having a party here by yourself, huh,” Yesung smirked and pointed to the empty bottle of soju I forgot to clean. I didn´t know what to answer and only laughed awkwardly.

“You should have called, you knew I was free tonight,” Kangin slapped my back painfully and I almost made a caterwaul. Still I couldn´t but let out another chuckle, Kangin was just like that. Making me feel good by pretending to be mad.

“I forgot, sorry,” I apologised and filled a glass for him. “And I´m sorry for rushing without even talking to you,” I then turned to Yesung and filled his glass too. Then I quietly without raising my stare prepared a drink for Donghae.

“It´s okay, I just wanted to say that I liked the musical very much,” Yesung smiled. “Was the final scene your doing too? Because it looked awesome!”

“Yeah, of course. The whole choreography is always done by Hyukjae. The kids only take care of the background and less important scenes since Hyukjae doesn´t work in the theatre full time.” Kangin began explaining while I secretly kept refilling my own glass with soju. “I was surprised with the final scene too, it was incredibly professional.”

“Yeah, that´s why I was asking,” Yesung chuckled.

“So Hyukjae isn´t an actor?” Donghae suddenly interrupted the conversation with his out of place question.

“Well, he is but he´s more of a dancer than singer,” Kangin then chuckled at something that was an inner joke of the troupe. Yeah, I couldn´t really sing you know.

“But for what I know he´s one of the main creators of your plays, right?” Yesung turned to Kangin.

“Yeah, he does the full choreography and then he teaches it to others. He also leads the dance during the show, he´s quite a useful chap,” Kangin hit my back again.

But that was a very wrong move because my stomach jumped up and then fell down. I drank too much, way too much. I felt my insides churn and quickly jumped up on my legs. I sprinted to the bathroom and bent over the toilet. When I managed to empty my stomach, somebody massaged my shoulder and gave me a wet towel. I cleaned the sweat and spit and balanced myself to the basin. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth. But when I raised my head and looked into the mirror, I found the person standing behind me to be Donghae. For the first time tonight I looked into his eyes.

Fanservice:

140828 Inkigayo pre-recording:

Fan said to Hyukjae that his hair look like a wig.

Eunhyuk didn’t hear properly so he went “eung?”

So Donghae translated for him: ”She said your hair look like dog’s hair".

HI! Quite a fast update, huh? I have two more chapters pre-written so I will see, if I have time to proof read them and update soonet than the next week. Let me know, if you are curious. Whenever I open the document with stuff about SJ, I feel so nostalgic and never know what to choose. So I usually go for funny stuff. Anyway, thank you for reading, guys. Take care! - PandaHero