Very rudely and unusually for myself I pushed people out of my way. Dropping my bag and shoving a guy in front of me so strong, he almost fell over. Once I arrived on the spot, I spread my arms and looked above my head. I was standing straight under Donghae.

“Is this what you wanted?!” I yelled and the suicide grabbed the frame again to take a proper look at my scheme. “Jump down but I´m not moving!” I said and reclined a bit to emphasize my spread arms.

“Move!” Donghae for the first time spoke up but only one sight and I felt already much more sure this plan would work. Donghae´s eyes weren´t empty anymore, instead they were furious.

“No! I will stand there right under! Jump and kill me!” I screamed as tears streaked from my eyes.

“Take him away anyone!” Donghae tried to use the crowd and confused people wondered, if they should save at least one of us and move me aside.

“Don´t even think about it!” I span around and even hit somebody in the face. Nobody is taking me away. Just try and kill me, Donghae. Becoming a murderer, how does that feel? Forcing me to become one but at the same time not being able to bear the guilt himself. How selfish. “I´m not moving until you take me away yourself!”

“Just you wait, Hyukjae!” Donghae screamed and I raised my head to see him climbing back inside.

My chest was swelling with stress. Who knows, what he was planning now. I didn´t dare to move. I had my arms still spread and tears refused to stop sliding my cheeks. I was holding my breath, barely inhaling oxygen. Every second felt like an hour, time was too slow and my body couldn´t handle it.

“You!” And then I saw him. Donghae came running out of the main door of the building. He was furious, I could almost see the flames seeping through his body. His eyes were dark and his teeth clenched. He rushed to me and I thought he would hit me. And he would have perhaps done it, if I didn´t react on impulse.

“Dear God,” I breathed and my previously spread arms captured Donghae in an uncalled for embrace.

It was an urge my desperate mind couldn´t deny. I hugged Donghae over his shoulders and rested my head on them. The body that was previously frozen by anxiousness at that moment melted and turned into a jelly. My wobbly legs gave away and I ended up crashing against Donghae´s torso. I heard him speak to me. I didn´t know what he was saying but I guessed it were just curses. I managed to screw another of his suicide attempts after all. I wanted to chuckle but I didn´t even have the strength to do that. Yeah, you are allowed to call me a wimp. Even I myself feel embarrassed because, indeed, I fainted in Donghae´s arms.

It´s been a while since I had such a hard time waking up. But the horrible stench in the room, that wasn´t allowing me to breathe properly, managed to force me to open my eyes. Once I did, I found myself in a foreign room that was foggy like an autumn morning. But the fog didn´t feel in the least refreshing because it was more like smoke. I coughed and sat up. My muscles hurt from the week full of exercise and horrible experience connected to Donghae. I wonder, if I´m in his house.

I stood up from the bed and limped to the door. But once I opened it, more smoke blew into the room and I had to cough again. I heard somebody curse and followed the voice carefully. For a second I even hoped that I was in a burning house, which could be probably easier to endure than the reality. But to my sadness I was with Donghae, angered to nowhere, trying to take control of his own kitchen.

“Are you trying to commit suicide again?” I asked from the door, I didn´t want to come closer in case he decided to hit me after all.

“Funny,” Donghae frowned. “If you feel good enough to joke around, do something about this,” he spat and threw the pan into the sink.

“I can´t cook,” I answered.

“That makes us two, apparently,” the angry man leaned against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. Donghae closed his eyes and sighed, then he opened them again and looked at me with his usual sad expression. “How are you feeling?” He asked quietly.

“Better,” I shortened the story of my pained muscles, hurting throat and burning eyes.

“Mm,” Donghae hummed and stayed quiet.

Silence overpowered the busy kitchen and I wondered how to describe the atmosphere. It was a little bit tense, a little bit awkward, somehow sad and maybe even regretful. I watched the male in front of me looking at his feet and thinking over stuff I couldn´t possibly imagine. I was kind of attracted to the mysterious shadow enveloping Donghae but at the same time I was terrified of getting consumed by it too.

“Let´s order chicken,” I cut the thick air in the room with my statement and served it to Donghae with a small smile.

“Sounds good,” was what I received back from Donghae, unfortunatelly without any raise of his lips.

Ventilating the apartment took enough time for the delivery boy to come with the chicken. I took the chance and escaped to wash up so I wouldn´t have to pay for the food. Speaking the truth, Donghae was surely much better off than me, by stooping around I found some new stuff. The apartment looked expensive and totally not bad for a guy his age. Donghae worked as a programmer. Which explained the possibility of earning big money from the young age and also bunch of free time to follow me. He could amend his schedule and didn´t have to work on shifts like me. I wondered about it with envy as I was finally enjoying my hot shower.

Dressed into Donghae´s clothes I dropped my on the leather sofa. The situation was very much similar to the last weekend. We were sitting on a sofa and watching TV, eating take out food and pretending to be close enough friends to lend each other pyjamas.

“I must say, you caused quite an uproar over there, fainting like a girl,” Donghae couldn´t help but remark with his mouth full of chicken.

“I don´t know who caused a bigger scene,” I rolled my eyes, “and for your information, I had been already groggy before I met you.”

“Why?” The brunette naturally asked but I could feel his curiousness.

“Because tomorrow is the premiere of our musical, I was practising hard,” I told him proudly and bit into my chicken.

“Oh, should I come and see your role of a guy number two in the crowd?” Donghae smirked and his fingers. What a jerk.

“Do you want to come? I do have a free ticket that I intended to give to my landlady,” I ignored his jab about my role. “My friends are busy so I don´t really have anyone to give the ticket to and honestly, I wanted to take one to not seem idiotic.” I admitted that it was quite embarrassing not having even one person to give the ticket to.

“Tomorrow?” Donghae stopped eating and thought for a while. “Well, if your landlady wouldn´t mind.”

“I´m sure she wouldn´t,” I chuckled suddenly very happy. I haven´t thought of inviting Donghae but it was a good idea. I wanted him to see that I wasn´t just a good for nothing.

“Hyukjae?” Donghae then asked and his seriousness made me want to look at his face. “Do you plan to keep stopping my attempts to kill myself?”

“Uh,” I was caught off guard by his question, especially since it was sincere. “If I catch you, of course I will try to stop you. That´s natural, I don´t want you to die.”

“I wonder,” Donghae then said just above whisper, “if it´s worth. You getting hurt in the process I mean.”

“Well, it´s not like I really think too hard, Donghae. I just act without preparation,” I admitted and couldn´t take my eyes off of that confused face.

“No, I meant, that I don´t want to risk it,” Donghae glanced at me and them quickly away, “involving you.” He then cleared his throat.

“I should probably stay alive for the time being.”

Fanservice:

Hyukjae gave cookies from Chocolat Bonbon to all fans during KBS recording.

Hyuk: ”For people who ate Chocolat Bonbon Cookie today, please leave 1500 won before you leave!” 

Good morning! Finally what you were waiting for. Donghae is becfoming influenced by Hyukjae. Thank you for reading, commenting and have a nice day! -PandaHero