Anxious performer

Dangerous, Especially For Himself

 

 

The last warm sunrays were the coldness of the buildings around. The wind was chilly and grabbing fallen leaves only to push them into my pockets and behind my collar. I calmly pick every single leaf and send it flying on the strong wind somewhere else. I´m too tired to get mad over things like bad weather. And it´s not even that bad in the first place. There is still the beautiful light from the red setting sun and that nostalgic autumn feeling all around me.

I smiled for myself a little when my bangs flew up and then fell into my eyes. I wanted to cherish moments of calmness like these because life was for me there to enjoy. I smiled wider when I saw a girl push her skirt down with embarrassment. Who said that autumn wind wasn´t fun? I passed her pretending to not notice the colour of her underwear and continued on my way home.

I came to a crossing and stopped on the red light. I was humming a song while watching the people on the other side of the road. Older woman, mother with a child, a couple and a weird guy. The person caught my attention right away. He was short and looked dishevelled with not matching clothes and a nest instead of a proper hairstyle. I frowned because he seemed somehow nervous and my intuition proved to be true when all of a sudden the guy sprinted over the crossing on the red light.

“Careful!” A guy next to me yelled at the person but it was too late already as a truck appeared dangerously close to the clueless guy.

But the luck was on the man´s side. When it looked like he would certainly get hit, he stumbled and somehow avoided the car by making a weird turn before slamming down. Normally it would be impossible to escape but because he slipped, he unconsciously saved himself. Everyone on the pavement was amazed and the moment the green light blinked, people began gathering around the shocked man on the road.

“Are you really alright?” I asked him the same question as everyone else. The brown haired man nodded and gave us a small crooked smile. Then he picked himself up and bowed. I watched him walk away on his wobbly legs and wondered, what was going on in his head right now.

The street lamps blinked when the sun lost the power to light the streets. I picked another leaf from my shoulder and began walking faster. It´s only ten minutes of walking from the bus station to my apartment building. I live alone, actually with my dog, right now because I wanted to be independent. I have a job with decent salary and a bunch of friends from high school. I don´t have a lover but that doesn´t really bother me because right now I´m pretty busy with my life and don´t feel alone at all. There is always somebody around when I need a company.

I pushed the key into the hole and could already hear my dog bark. I opened the door and, indeed, it was standing in the hall and waving its tail. I patted the dog and cooed for a while until I decided that it was enough and that I was hungry for some nice dinner. This having said I put off my coat and shoes, throwing the bag on the ground, I went to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and pulled out a few plastic boxes with a smile on my lips. I know I said I wanted to be independent but I wasn´t yet prepared to give up on my mom´s cooking. I would visit my parents often on Sunday and my mom would pack me enough food to survive the week. I would leave her some money of course, I wanted her to see that I could afford eating well, just that I preferred her meals.

I sighed in comfort after returning from a walk. I had a good meal, refreshing shower and hot green tea. I was lying in my bed with my small dog and looking into the ceiling. The moonlight was interrupted by the shadows of the trees that were still being abused by the cold wind. I watched the dramatic shadow theatre on my ceiling and my mind wandered to the strange guy from today.

It´s dangerous to cross the street when it´s red light shining. He looked young, maybe he was late for a date? Nah, he didn´t look dressed properly for that. Even if he was in a hurry, it was pretty risky to just storm into the road. My heart stopped when I thought that the young man could die right in front of me. Things like these just scare me. I have a weak stomach for violent sights. I frowned and closed my eyes. I hope I won´t have any nightmares tonight.

The next day I woke up in a weird mood. I didn´t know, if it was because of yesterday´s incident but I had a bad feeling. As if something really bad was going to happen. I tried to shake off the nervousness and prepare for the day. I cleaned myself and put on some random clothes. Usually I would care a little more about my appearance but I wasn´t in mood. I even yelled at my dog for being in the way and had to apologise. What´s with me?

I walked out of the house and my eyes lingered on the place, where the young brunette almost lost his life yesterday. I gulped and rushed to the bus station. I took the bus to work and tried to relax a little. I was way too antsy and the feeling refused to let go, instead it jabbed on my guts like an insect. I shivered at the thought.

I arrived to the metal gates and greeted the guard and the lady in the information box. It was still early, the zoo was closed still. Yeah, I work in a zoo but I´m not a zoologist or a vet. My parents were, though, and wanted me to attend the medical school like them. But I refused because I had different things on my mind. But to keep the peace in the family, I at least took the job in the zoo. And it´s not like I don´t love animals or anything. I don´t mind making money this way.

Entering the staff building I began feeling much better. Warm greetings and morning jokes at our tiredness were what brought my mood back. Why am I even nervous? It´s nothing after all. I convinced myself and put on the green uniform. I threw a cap on my head and jacket over my thin body. It was cold today.

“Hyukjae? Could you take care of commentated feeding today?” I turned around after my superior´s voice.

“No problem Yesung, where, tho?” I asked walking to the black haired male. He looks scary and has a quick fist but he cares about us a lot and I like him. “Aquarium?”

“Yup, I knew I could count on you. You remember all the shows by heart,” he chuckled.

“I´m a performer after all,” I joked.

“You certainly are, you clown,” Yesung patted my head lightly and laughed. I laughed too and went to do my work.

About three hours after the opening I was on my way to the aquarium. The feeding was starting at twelve and I had to prepare the food too. When I was passing by giraffes, I noticed a familiar guest. Is that the guy from yesterday? Suddenly I felt lump in my throat and my stomach churned. The bad feeling returned to me with such heaviness that I decided to let go of everything and follow the guy instead. Something was wrong here and I couldn´t ignore it anymore.

The man stopped not far from the giraffes. African exposition was huge so I was glad I didn´t need to ran too far for him. I was about to strike a conversation with him, when he looked around and not noticing my presence climbed on the fence. My eyes widened and my legs sprung in a reflex.

“Idiot!” I yelled with fear in my eyes. “There are lions!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fanservice:

Eunhyuk: It had been said that in some website’s research, for “The Singer I Most Want to Brew Pomelo Tea for” Kyuhyun has won the overwhelming first place… really speechless.
Leeteuk: Lately, websites have been coming up with these weird polls. It’s still okay to talk about who you want to go on a vacation with, but why are there these kind of polls such as brewing Pomelo tea.
Eunhyuk: And why would they want to brew Pomelo tea for Kyuhyun?

 

Hello! so I´m back and with me some eunhae spices! I don´t want to talk about my boys enlisting and all the emotions, especially since I´m no good with emotions. So let´s talk about something else. How was the chapter? I´m still not sure, what this story will bring but I can already see you guessing! Thank you very much and have a nice day! - PandaHero

 

 

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Janusnim08
#1
Chapter 24: Just finished read this one again (just because i need a good cry lol) and subscribing after that one time I stupidly forget to did so


This is one of my fav from your stories here because it hit really close to home and I could related to both hyukjae and donghae so much. You really done a great job here hitting the feels
TripleS_SuMyat
#2
Chapter 24: Now this is officially one of my fav. it's not only beautiful also inspiring me to live life happily. but single like me can't relate having someone to pass the whole life.
Anyway, i am glad you put a a few kissing scenes in there. i love it.
felineminseok #3
Chapter 24: hhhh my chest feels heavy. honestly i thought at first that eunhae's characters were both annoying; donghae's mouth was too unfiltered, he was a jerk. hyukjae was even more annoying because he let himself be treated like the whole time. what's even more annoying is that i could see a part of myself in both of them. but at the last 2 chapters i finally understood?? i uh... /cough/
might have pathetically shed a few tears.

i know how it feels--tiny insignificant bad moments that all builds up into one huge storm until you blow up and then suddenly it feels like nothing matters anymore, everything feels so irritating and tiring all the time, and sleeping /for good/ starts to sound tempting. self isolation is also a constant thing, i'm so glad eunhae figured it out in the end. i only understood the difficult characters at the last chapters.. they were meant to be imperfect. it was realistic. with that said, i conclude that you did a good job at writing eunhae's characters. does that make sense? i hope it does.

i had a lot of feelings for this, i liked reading this. (and sorry if i was too dramatic and for my long rambling.) another amazing work from you, thank you for another great read~ :)