You know what I'm just going to upload it all together because I can. Even with not all of the story finished. Hey contains suisidal thoughts and actions...also a lot of ship stuff....sooooo yep

 I really didn't know how I ended up in court. I was the victim. They had beaten us for what seemed like years and here I was being held for killing ten people. I didn't even kill those people but the more they argued the more I questioned. I can't remember most of the trial but I remember standing at the witness stand and a person walking up to me. He looked me straight in the eye and I was scared. He looked away then looked back. "The defendant is a monster. He killed ten people and for what? What did they do to him? He is clearly a monster and a murderer!" I think that stunned me. I think I wobbled a little then fell into the chair. Everyone was quiet as the guards looked at my condition. Did the judge silence that lawyer? I can't remember. 

    The worse was looking at the internet. My other members forbid it but I still looked at it. People would say many things about me. I hated that I had brought down B1A4. It hurt me so much. One day when I was looking at it CNU came in. He sighed and sat next to me. He wrapped an arm around me and that was when I broke down. I think everyone heard me crying and came in. Sandeul, Baro, and Jinyoung all hugged me as I kept on crying. Jinyoung kissed the top of my head then sighed. "We know Channie that you didn't kill them. It is just a misunderstanding. Thats all."

    I was so afraid to go outside. There were people that would through stuff at me and yell words that I never want to repeat. Jinyoung would always cover my ears and protect me but they were still there. Late at night when everyone was asleep I would look out into the city. I can't remember when I first cut myself but I did. I would wear long shirts to cover everything however someone found out. 

    It was cold that day. Almost Christmas when Kyungsoo and Jongin came to the dorm. Everyone was out and I was in the bathroom. Blood was everywhere when the bell rang. I locked the door once I was out. It still hurt so I opened the door with the other hand. They looked so happy. I smiled weakly and showed them in. I don't know remember how I got into my shared room with Jinyoung but I was. I was laying on the bed looking at the wall. Everything was fading in and out when I heard the door creak. I saw a tall man walk in and even with blurry vision I knew who it was. He rushed over to me and checked my pulse. He felt the bandage and rolled my sleeves up to see the bloody mess. That was when he started to be frantic. 
"Aish Gongchan how could you do this?" Cursed Jongin as he looked around the room.
I just smiled. I think my pained laughing made Kyungsoo come in. I remember his face well when he ran over to me and I saw black. I heard that howl of a monster. It was the first time since that time that I had heard it and it was even more haunting.

It hurts me more than it hurst you. Plaese comment so I know what the feelz say