KAISOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 I'd rather forget about those events. People always ask me how I got kidnapped. How did the devil's child get kidnapped? Easy. I was hit over the head when walking to the van. I had an acting gig and was going back to the dorm when I was hit. There was blood, my left shoe, and my phone. I remember waking up in that place. The chains to my hands and the stank in the air. I looked across the room to see a pale Taemin. He had been kidnapped in that same area. I curse at myself for parking there. My company had been super careful about going by ones self ever since he was kidnapped. We had actually gotten a list of a bunch of idols that were to be kidnapped. Such as, Gongchan from B1A4, Mark from Got7, Hongbin from VIXX, and others. I was also on the list which freaked out Suho and everyone else. Jongin was the most scared for me. He would never leave my side even when we were sleeping. It was cute but going to the shower and toilet wasn't. I always augured with him about that. If only I let Jongin come with me then I wouldn't be in this situation. Or would I? They could have hurt or killed Jongin. I froze at that thought. How long had I been in that place before the door opened? I didn't keep count. A bloody Mark was thrown in. Taemin and I just looked at him then closed our eyes. I could hear the chains jingle then a grunt. What felt like another year the process was repeated but with broken tall boy. The blood completely covered his face. He seemed to be dead when they tried to chain him up. The men scared all of us but we didn't show it. Well most of us. Mark in his sleep would yell out in english to one of his bandmates Jackson. I knew that all of us thought of one person here. Taemin is was probably Minho, Mark it was Jackson, Gongchan was obesely  Jinyoung, and I thought of Jongin. His sun toned skin and rock hard abs. Don't ask me I felt them in the shower when I helped him with the soap. Every time I had to shower Jongin would always follow. I would ask him and he would smile and blush. I knew he me ever since we were trainees but I didn't care until now. I stared at the wall as I thought about him. I thought about what he was doing at that moment. If he wasn't eating I was going to kill him once I got out of that place. If I ever did.

    The next place was smaller. I had the pleaser of being chained to a lamp. I thought that they could at least get a better place but they did kidnapped us so I kinda expected worse.I can't really remember who saw it first but Gongchan's chains were broken. Mark signaled toward him and Gongchan lifted his hands. Soon we were opening the door. There was screams and then a man walked up the staircase. We closed the door and I held the door with Gongchan. The door bursted open and everything became a blank in my mind. 

    The next thing I remember was me waking up in a parking lot. I remember looking around and seeing Gongchan. I rushed over to him because of his knife in his side and bullet wounds in both shoulders. He seemed paralyzed. I know we talked because tears were in my eyes as I turned to see the police. That happiness grew even wider as I saw Jongin in one of the cars. I cried even harder but the Gongchan closed his eyes. I shook him but then stopped as I saw that girl lifting a gun toward us. Everyone stopped as they saw this. Taemin was by me, Mark stared at everyone and Hongbin stared right at the girl. I felt Gongchan rise then heard the guns go off. I think I screamed stop as I saw to who they were shooting at. When Gongchan hit the ground I saw a golden haired run toward him. I then felt the arms of Jongin. I looked at him and started to cry. He was the first warmth that I felt in forever. Then I heard four gun shots. At the last one I felt it enter my side. My tears stopped and the last thing I saw was his beautiful face. My hand touched it and then it dropped.

    I was the third to wake up. I woke up to a pair of lips on mine. Opening my eyes I saw who they belonged to. His chocolate eyes were so warm. He lifted his head and smiled with tears in his eyes.
"Why are you crying?" I had asked.
He cried even more and kissed me again.

    The first time that I had heard of the trial was on the news. Everyone was gone from the dorm. I had the TV to see the picture of Gongchan going to trail. I turned it off and ran into Jongin. He grabbed me in his warm arms. His hands traveled lower as he stared at me.
"How is Gongchan one trail! He didn't kill anyone!" I had yelled at him.
Jongin sighed and kissed my jawline.
"Answers Jongin. I want them."
"I know. The family of that sasang sued him."
"But she beat us! She shot us!" I yelled again.
Jongin sighed again and kissed me. His kisses always made me kiss him back even if I was mad. 
"Don't worry I'll find evidence." He whispered against my lips.
Right then the door opened and the other members walked in. 
"Ooh look what they do when we aren't home." Teased Chen.
Xumin hit him on the head.

    I pestered Jongin to go to Gongchan's dorm for weeks and he finally went with me. When he opened the door he looked pail. I knew that he was wearing more shirts that covered his wrists but seeing him this pail scared me. We walked in and I was on the couch when Gongchan walked toward his room. I looked at Jongin and he went after him. I heard the door open then pained laughter. I was worried but once I reached the door it turned into terror. Gongchan laid on the bed so still. I ran over to him and he became limp and still.

    It was warmer then that night. We were all heading to a party for the trail. Gongchan was off the hook. Jongin wrapped his arm around me as we neared the place where I was kidnapped. Jongin is still protective of me even if it has been almost two years. Jongin still follows me everywhere but the bathroom part in more enjoyable if you know what I mean. I look at him as we near the restaurant. That restaurant was the one that I was coming from when I got kidnapped. Jongin looked at me and kissed me before we went inside. Everyone besides B1A4 was here. Jongin made a face when he saw his best friend making out with Minho. I laughed a little and he glared at me. I poked out my tongue and he put his lips around it. I quickly pulled it back in but he kept kissing me.
"And you guys yell at me when I kiss my boyfriend!" Yells Chanyeol as he walks past us.
Jongin smirks a little and kisses me again. 
"Hey at least Beakhyun is in the same country as you. Luhan is still in China." Mumbles Sehun as he drinks out of his cup.
Jongin looks at me and pulls me toward a silent table.
"You know I love you."
I hummed and looked at him. I knew where this was leading. It always did. Everyone was so nice to us that it hurt. They never tried to push us. I knew we all hated it but the trauma was still there. I hated being touched in the beginning. I was the less beaten of everyone so if I hated being touched I could only imagine what everyone else was like. Then B1A4 walked in. Gongchan looked so different. I was so happy.

    I was the one to suggest him to tell his story to everyone. It seemed like the time. It really did. I was so happy for him when he did. When I watched it Jongin sat next to me and I was glad because all the memories came back. I still remember Jongin expression when the show was done. I had never told anyone the extents of those months because I just wanted to forget. 

    When I first heard of Mark's death I laughed and told Amber she were joking. She said she wasn't. I became silent and fell onto the floor. The EXO members rushed over to me and tried to get my attention but I couldn't hear them. I remember starting to call out to Mark then yelling it out as I gripped my hair and cried. I never knew I was going to start cutting myself. I hated seeing blood. I had seen enough of it during those months. It kinda helped. When I showered I could see the large letters on my back. Mine. We all had them. Taemin had it on the back of his neck, Mark all over him, Gongchan on his legs, Hongbin on his shoulders, and me on my back. Gongchan pretended like they weren't there so we never tried to remind him. When ever he was around we would cover where they were. Every memory of Mark hurt so much. I would sit everywhere in the dorm which caused everyone to be freaked out because of how I would stare at any object like I wanted to kill it. Jongin would cuddle with me and whisper into my ears. He would even kiss everywhere and I would just be so out of it that he would stop and walk away like a hurt puppy. 

    Pretending that Mark wasn't gone was the hardest for everyone. We knew that Gongchan's condition wasn't great but we didn't know to the extent. One day Jinyoung called us over and told all of us about Gongchan. After he was done Gongchan had skipped into the room and hugged Jinyoung. You could see how much Jinyoung hurt inside but none of us pointed that out either. We came to the idea that Mark was in America and couldn't be reached until he returned. I remember walking into a phone call to Mark. It always went to Jinyoung and he would delete it. The conversation was so innocent that it hurt. He was talking about the ice cream that Mark had promised about before he was killed. Gongchan was so excited for it. Even back then before Mark died Gongchan was showing signs of what was he going to be like. Mark was his favorite and Mark would tell him of things they would do after Gongchan got better. 

    When Gongchan died it hit me hard. I was watching the news when a call came from the police. 
"We need you to come to the station. It's about Gongchan."
"Did he do something? It wasn't his fault. He can sometimes,"
"No he didn't do anything bad. He's dead."
That was when I stopped listening. I was standing up when the officer told me that. I dropped the phone and Sehun ran in to see what happened. He was the only one to know that I was cutting myself. He had walked into my room when I was changing a bandage. It took so long for him not to tell Jongin. I looked at Sehun and fell to the floor. He caught me and yelled for the other members. I looked at everyone and started to cry.
"G-g-gongchan is dead." I had managed to say before the pain from a cut I made a little to deep started to hurt again.
I uncovered my arms and held the bandage to apply pressure before I out.

    I was on top of a building when it happened. I was looking at the country when someone pushed me up against the railing. It was only a two story building but it still scared me to look down at the ground.
"Kyungsoo!" Yelled the rest of the EXO members as they came back from their adventure in the woods.
I looked at them then behind me to see the figure to push me all the way over the railing. I tried to grab onto something but I kept falling. I remember Jongin's shout the loudest when I hit the ground. My body felt paralyzed so I was forced to look at my other members. I saw them running to me with the blood starting to cloud my vision. Then blackness.

oh god I killed Kyungsoo