No words are given

The first thing I feel is nothing. The bed is cold and there is no sign of life. I roll onto my back as I remember. 
"He's gone." I whisper to myself.
My love is gone. However what is that smell from the kitchen. Putting a shirt on I walk into the kitchen and see a blond haired boy without a shirt on. The boy turns as he hears me walk into the room.
"I see your awake sleepyhead." Chuckled Gongchan.
Walking closer to him I touch his face then hug him. Gongchan makes a noise. Both of us have grown taller. 
"I thought you were gone." I mumble into his neck.
Gongchan looks at me then hugs me tighter.
"Had a nightmare again?" He mumbled into my hair.
I looked at him and kisses his lips.
"Yah you had a heart attack after you explained your story to everyone."
Gongchan became quiet as he remembers the incident from two years ago. He sighs and kisses me. Looking deep into my eyes he my hair.
"I may be loosing my memory but I'm in great health."
"I know." I mumble against his lips.
He smiles and kisses me again. My hand is up his back when the door bell rang. I groan then I open the door. 
"Gongchannie!" Yells the small idol.
Kyungsoo tackles Gongchan to the ground. Jongin walks in and smiles at me. I smile back and close the door.
"I'm starting to think you love him more than me." Jongin grumbled as he picked Kyungsoo off of the shirtless Gongchan.
"I love him like a friend. I love you as a boyfriend." Chuckled Kyungsoo ad he kissed Jongin.
I pick up Gongchan right as the door opens again and everyone comes in. Sandeul, Baro, Mark, Jackson, Taemin, Minho, Hongbin, CNU, and Leo.
"Ah did we interrupt something?" Asked Jackson as he pointed toward Gongchan.
I groan as I look around the room. Gongchan looks at my face and kisses it away.
"I love you hyung." Mumbles Gongchan against my lips.
I kiss him again.
"I love you too Channie." I mumble against his pink lips.
Then I hear the oohs of the bandeul couple and I through a pillow at them.

    The death of Mark was the worse. It crushed everyone. Jackson was in and out of the hospital. Taemin wouldn't come out of his room. Kyungsoo just sat motionless in his dorm. Hongbin didn't talk anymore. Gongchan would lock himself in our room. Everyone was scared for them. His death reminded everyone of those months. I could tell that Gongchan wouldn't believe it. He started to recreate events. His memory became even worse with this. Even his sanity was questioned. I remember walking into our bedroom and him talking on the phone.
"I can't wait until you comeback from America. We are all going to have ice cream just like you promised right? I miss your voice. Jackson is busy so he can't say anything but he says to say he loves you. We all do. Make sure you come home save."
When he hung up he looked at me and jumped into my arms. I had to pretend to not know about his death. The doctors said it was the best. 
"When will Mark answer his phone? Is he busy?" Gongchan had asked.
I could only smile and say that he was very busy. We would cuddle and I would tell him how when he gets better we would all go to a place where no one could hurt us. I knew he never was going to get better but only one could hope.

    The death of Gongchan was the most painful. I remember walking into the house calling out his name. I had just gotten done with a MC gig that I had and I was going to give Gongchan the ice cream he had always wanted. The house was dead. The scariest thing about it was how everything was set for dinner. Everything was clean. Then I heard the bath. Then I saw the water. I had ran toward the bathroom and opened the door. That was when I saw his pain body on the floor with water making him damp and his hair move. The blood was coming from his chest set me off. I had turned him over to see the word 'mine' on his bare chest. His eyes were open and he looked at me. 
"H-h-hyung." He had painfully said.
"Don't talk Channie. I'll call an ambulance."
He had grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me down. He struggled to but he kissed me with his last strength. He became limp in my arms so quickly. His eyes were closed and with a faint smile on his face. I had cried out and hugged him but it was no use. He was gone.      

The tears are real