one month has passed. i have moved out from amber’s house and have been working every night at the convenience store before going home to the rental house that is a few blocks away.

 

taemin has left school for the world tour a few days ago. i video call him almost every night before i sleep, updating him about school and homework.

 

i have not talk to kai much besides practicing our choreography together during dance class. besides that, we never text or even hung out after school. maybe because it was krystal that was always watching us like a hawk. however, today she was sick, so she didnt come to school at all.

 

“hey,” kai finally spoke up. feel like i haven’t talk to him in months despite seeing him almost everyday.

 

“how are you doing?” he asked.

 

i’m not okay. “i’m doing great. why the question? do i look tired?”

 

“no! you look great. i mean i miss you. no! i mean... i miss having you as a friend.”

 

“we’re still friends, arent we? we’re just a little distant now because you have a girlfriend. and it’s perfectly normal.” i gave him a fake, reassuring smile.

 

the bell suddenly ring, signalling that school is finally over.

 

“alright. looks like we’ll have to continue our practice tomorrow?” i took a few steps away from him.

 

“wait. are you free? do you want to eat somewhere together?” he asked.

 

one meal won’t hurt. i really miss being with jong in.

 

“i-“

 

“huang si yoon. there you are!” a familiar but almost forgotten voice spoke up.

 

i turned around and my face lit up.

 

“kris!” i beamed as i ran up and hug him.

 

“how’s my baby girl doing?” he hugged back tightly. “i miss you so much!”

 

“i miss you too! i mean... how could you? i cant believe you’re here. what’s with this surprise? why did you not tell me you were coming?” i bombarded him with questions as soon as i pulled away from the hug.

 

“it’s a school break in china right now. i’m here because i miss you. and why would i tell you when it’s meant to be a surprise?”

 

i smacked his chest playfully. “how did you find me here though?” 

 

“easy. i asked the school receptionist for your class schedule and she told me you would be here for a dance class.” 

 

“oh! talking about dance class. this is my friend-“ i turned around and noticed jong in has left.

 

“oh that boy? he just left. i saw him. is he your friend?” 

 

oh no. i remembered i show a picture of kris and i to jong in and his parents and faked kris as my boyfriend. now that he’s here, jong in thinks that kris is really my boyfriend.

 

a huge part of me wanted to run after jong in... but why do i have explain to jong in when it doesnt matter to him in the first place?

 

“so where are you staying?” 

 

“what do you mean where? my luggage is outside this studio.”

 

“did you assume that i was living alone?”

 

“...yes?”

 

“i was not. but lucky for you, i am temporarily. if not you would be homeless tonight.” 

i brought kris home with me to drop his luggages.

 

“i’m only able to call in sick today okay? i have to work tomorrow. so, where do you wanna go?” 

 

we spend the whole day out. from playing at the arcade, to watching movie at the movie theatre, to restaurant hopping and some souvenir shopping. kris has a huge appetite. 

 

si yoon’s boyfriend surprised her today. why does she having a boyfriend does not feel real until i really met him? now that ive seen him, it feels like reality has struck me.

 

si yoon has a boyfriend. the moment they hugged, i felt a pang in my heart. i couldn’t pretend nothing has happened. i had to leave the room.

 

i have been exercising for the past three hours to get si yoon off my mind. its wrong to feel like this.

 

my phone suddenly rung. its taemin.

 

“hey.” taemin said almost urgently.

 

“hey taemin. how is it going?” i replied.

 

“this is urgent. si yoon always call me at night to let me catch up on school. but today, she didnt. she is also not answering my calls. i’m worried. i need you to find her at workplace or her home. i’ll text you the addresses” 

 

i went to her workplace first.

 

“si yoon called in sick today. she must be at home.” 

 

si yoon’s sick? she looks fine to me just now.

 

i ran to her house and banged on her door like crazy. there was no answer. this means she’s out. but where would she be? it’s already 1.30 am.

 

i tried calling her phone but her phone is switched off.

 

i paced myself along the corridors of the apartment building.

 

“where would she be? come on... think jong in... okay. let’s start again. let’s think logically. should i just call the police?”

 

laughters could be heard at the end of the corridor.

 

as soon as i saw a two figures appeared, the laughter stopped.

 

“jong in...? why... are you here?”

 

it was just si yoon and her boyfriend hanging out late at night. why was i so worried for nothing? it was none of my business.

 

 

“i don’t care if you’re with your boyfriend or not. but answer your ing call when someone’s anticipating for your call. you made taemin so worried, he called me to check on you. i couldn’t find you anywhere. but you were just out here having fun.”

 

i was loss for words. i haven’t seen kris in so long... time pass so fast when youre just catching up.

 

“i-”

 

“nevermind. i’ll let taemin know you’re fine.” he said as i watched him walked away.

 

“he’s not a friend, am i right?” kris asked.

 

“huh?” i snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him.

 

“he thinks i’m your boyfriend. he’s jealous.”

 

“ha? no... it’s true that taemin is worried...”

 

“he’s just using him as an excuse. he’s obviously heartbroken.... and you’re obviously affected by it.”

 

“...how do you know?”

 

“si yoon. i know you so well. i can literally read your facial expression.”

 

“i-“

 

“you’re in love with him. what’s stopping you?” he said.

 

i love jong in. 

 

“sorry kris... here’s the key to the house. i’m going to go after him.”

“jong in! wait! let me explain!” i shouted as soon as i saw jong in from a distance.

 

“what?” he said as i caught up to him.

 

“kris... is not my boyfriend... it was a lie.”

 

“okay. but why are you telling me this?”

 

“because i don’t want you to misunderstand me anymore.”

 

“then tell me what you’re hiding.”

 

“what am i hiding?”

 

“you tell me.”

 

he’s talking about the blackmail.

 

“i’ve already suffered this much. please don’t force me to say it out.”

 

“you’re not the only one suffering. i’m going through so much to just to try and find out what you’re hiding. you doing this is making us more distant with more misunderstandings.”

 

“i know...”

 

“you know...?”

 

“i know you’re fake dating krystal to find out about the blackmail.”

 

“how...?”

 

“when we were drunk. you blurt everything out.”

 

“okay. so you knew that i know. theres no point hiding anymore. what is the blackmail?”

 

i started welling up. i couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

“krystal... she stalked me home one day and took a picture of me walking into your house. she threatened me to stay away from you or else she will tell the whole school that you’re sleeping with me in return for a math tutor.”

 

“and you kept it all to yourself? when it’s this serious?”

 

“no. i told taemin...”

 

“and that loser didn’t tell me either?”

 

“he promised me not to.”

 

“he didn’t bother doing anything?”

 

“jong in! your reputation would have gotten so bad if the pictures gets leaked.”

 

“i don’t care about that. what i care is that she manipulated you and you took in all these sufferings by yourself. is that why you found a place and took up a part time job to pay up the rent?”

 

i nodded my head. jong in sighed tiredly.

 

“si yoon... no matter what happens, she will eventually use the picture as her weapon.”

 

“what do you mean?”

 

“we could have been together for a whole year, but once we break up, she will pull out this picture and blame you for the cause of the break up... it’s unavoidable.”

 

“you’re right...” 

 

“that’s why i have to confront her about this. im sorry you have already suffered this much... but the longer we drag, the longer we suffer.”

---

sorry i mia-ed