Chapter Two

 

 

                                                         

{Listen to Amber Run - I Found}

 

Caution: Some swearing in this chaper. Words in italic are flashbacks.

 

 

I remember the first time it happened. It started of with the constant headaches. Then there was the nauseas, dizziness and vomiting. It has been going on for months so I knew it wasn’t normal. I finally had the guts to tell Manager hyung and he immediately drove me to the hospital.

 

That was where I met Dr. Kim. Brain Tumour. That’s what I had been diagnosed with. It was located at the cerebellum. After that day I had appointments every two weeks with Dr. Kim, where they helped me to the road of recovery. I remember making Manager hyung promise me not to tell the boys. Even Dr. Kim.

 

The car ride was silent. I gazed at the car window, watching the rain peacefully run down. So I have Brain Tumour huh? I didn’t really know what to feel. Sadness, anger. So I was emotionless. What’s going to happen from now on?

 

“We’re here.”

 

I turned towards Manager hyung who was staring at me with a look of concern.

 

“Manager hyung, will your promise me one thing?”

 

“What is it Jimin-ah?”

 

“Please, don’t tell the boys.”

 

“Jimin, they have to know. I can’t keep it from them. They will get suspicious anyways from you missing a day every two weeks for your appointment.”

 

“Please hyung, I never ask you for anything. Please just keep this one promise.” I begged, tears now streaming down my face.

 

“Fine, I won’t tell. But the company has to know, okay?” I nodded.

 

“Now don’t cry anymore. You’re a strong boy Jimiin-ah, do you know that?” Now hyung was crying as well. I hugged him while crying, drenching his shirt.

 

“They’re living their dream, I can’t bring them down. And for the suspicions, just make up an excuse. Like I’m homesick or something. I’m sure they’ll understand. They are my brothers after all. And so are you hyung.” I smiled while hugging hyung again before getting out of the car.

 

After that day, I had my appointments. The boys did get suspicious like hyung predicted. However, I think afterwards they started to get annoyed with me. I was okay with it, I mean anything than them knowing about it. Ever if it means they start to hate me. I simply couldn't come in the way of their dreams.

 

It first started of with the sudden small arguments, but the more appointments I went to the angrier they became. Their words started to become harsher, actions rougher. I wasn’t as close to them as before. Even Taehyung was being cold to me and he was supposed to be my best friend. Only Hoseok stayed the same with me. He still cared for me and understood me without having to explain myself and I was truly grateful. 

 

Jungkook stared at me the same way as he did on the first day we met. Honestly, since I joined the group last I was scared I wouldn’t fit in. Fortunately, I did. I was forever grateful with that. I felt like I only had Manager hyung now who I could really be myself to. I didn’t have to fake a smile. A lot of the time, hyung would come downstairs and we would sit in the car and talk and laugh for an hour or two. The guys thought I was off being immature and not really caring about my career or them. In other words being selfish.

 

I let them say everything in their heart. Even when Yoongi said that maybe Bangtan wasn’t the group for me. I listened to it all. That night I remember crying myself to sleep, I had to do this. This was far more better than them finding out about it.

 

Luckily, two months ago I had my surgery and the tumour was removed completely. Or so I thought.  It was pretty stupid of me to think everything would go back to the way it was. 

 

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I kept a diary since high school. It was a gift from my mother, because she knew I had issues going on. She knew I wouldn’t tell her because I didn’t want to annoy her with my problems when she already had a lot on her plate. So I sang to vent out my frustration, my sadness and anger. I let out everything into the song. I even wrote a couple of songs. It really did help me.

 

Even when I became an idol, I still kept the diary. After I found out about the Brain Tumour I started writing again more frequently. I was hurt by them, but I had to do it. So instead I wrote down my feelings in my diary. I wrote about feeling invisible, my feelings for Jungkook and losing my best friend Taehyung. I wrote about how I always cried myself to sleep and how I’m still dragging these boys down with me.

 

Monday 16^th June 20XX

 

Dear Diary,

 

I was scolded by Yoongi hyung again. Recently I’ve been thinking about telling the truth because the guilt is killing me inside. They are my brothers. But that’s the problems. They are my brothers. So how can I be selfish enough to hurt them? I can’t do that to them. We recently had a fan meeting, and they all looked so… happy. They’re living their dream. I can’t ruin that. Sometimes I think what I did was the best decision. Honestly, I know they hate me. That’s better because if I do die they won’t be as hurt. They won’t feel my pain. They will still be able to live their dream… and that’s all that matters to me.

 

Jimin.

 

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 {Listen to Morgan Page - Open Heart ft. Lessie (Acoustic Version)}

 

Third Person POV

 

When Jimin fainted, the dorm was full of chaos. Namjoon and Hoseok were screaming, telling the others to call 999 (911) and their Manager. Fortunately, their Manager happened to be coming by to drop off some things, so he arrived in 10 minutes. What he saw made his heart drop. He was shocked, confused. Wasn’t Jimin supposed to be better by now?

 

“JIMIN! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?! JIMIN! JIMIN WAKE UP!” Manager yelled, slapping Jimin’s cheek in the process.

 

“Hyung, the ambulance is on their way.” Taehyung hiccupped while sobbing.

 

“What happened to him?” Manager whispered.

 

Right then the paramedics barged in and questioned who was in need of help. They carried Jimin away, with Jungkook because he was begging to go with them. The others went with the Manager into the car and followed after the ambulance.

 

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Currently, they were waiting outside Jimin’s room, everyone praying for Jimin to be alright. Tension heavy in the air. Everyone was so confused. Why did Jimin suddenly faint? Was it because they made him overwork? Did they cross the line? The boys felt guilty after they realized how much hardship they put Jimin through. There was something he was hiding. They couldn’t be mad at him after what they’ve done to him.

 

“Now tell me, what happened?” Manager ordered.

 

“W-we don’t know. One minute he’s annoyed at us for disturbing his sleep. The next he looks so weak like he’s about to faint. Hoseok found out he was burning up and he just shrugged it off and was going to back to his room.” Taehyung answered.

 

Hoseok cutted in, “The weird thing was that Jimin looked dazed, distracted and kept shaking his head when we asked him why is he like that. He didn’t make it to him room because on the way he just… fell. We were taken by surprise. He started crying saying he’s in pain and kept clutching his head. Hyung I was scared. I didn’t know what was going on. H-he was shaking so much a-and I just stared helplessly. What kind of brother am I?” Hoseok cried.

 

Jungkook rubbed Hoseok’s back, trying to calm him. While four of the members were sobbing from guilt, two members sat in silence. The guilt they felt was so strong they couldn’t even cry. They were blaming themselves. They were disgusted with their actions.

 

“It’s all my fault.” Yoongi whispered.

 

“What?” Manager questioned.

 

“It’s all my fault! Because of me! Because of me our Jiminie is lying on that hospital bed and we don’t even know if he’s alive! It’s all because of me!” Yoongi was a crying mess. He punched the wall in anger.

 

“It’s because of me.” He whispered, voice cracking.

 

“It’s because of me… because of me.” He repeated, slowly sliding down the wall.

 

“What kind of brother am I? Being the eldest as well.” Seokjin chuckled bitterly, breaking the silence.

 

“I treated him like . I even stopped waking him up in the morning. I don’t deserve to be called ‘hyung’. With the way I’ve been acting shows how I’m not right to be the eldest. Jimin… why did I do that to him? Even though I was always so rude to him, he never did the same. He respected me, still smiled at me and cared for me like nothing ever happened.” A tear rolled down Seokjin’s face, his hands tightening into fist.

 

The waiting room was met with silence. They boys sat there motionlessly, too deep in thought. They thought of all the time they treated Jimin harshly. 

 

“What does that make me then, huh?” Taehyung spoke lowly.

 

“I was his best friend. I noticed all those times he would fake a smile. But I was so blinded by my mind to let my heart free. Whenever I looked at him… I thought of all the time he was annoying. But really I was trying to prevent my heart from caring. I’m a ty friend. I don’t even deserve to be called his best friend. He was always there for him and what do I do? I hurt him… I ING HURT HIM!!!”

 

Taehyung was sobbing so loudly, his body shaking. He screamed at the top of his lungs. He screamed for all the time he hurt Jimin, for not being there for him and for treating him like . Everyone was silent, the only thing that could be heard was Taehyung crying, breaking down.

 

After the room was calm, Manager decided it was time he confessed even if it meant he would be breaking Jimin’s promise. The boy doesn’t deserve all this, he’s been through so much.

 

“Brain Tumour.”

 

The boys turn their heads towards Manager with confusion.

 

“Minnie promised me not to tell you guys but you would’ve found out sooner or later.” He sighed deeply.

 

“A few months ago, we found out Jimin had a brain tumour. That was the cause for him always feeling sick. He made me promise not to tell you guys, he begged me while crying. He had appointments every two weeks and told me to lie to you guys. He was hurt when you guys hated him. But I’m at fault too… I should’ve done something.”

 

“What?” Jungkook whispered.

 

Taehyung started crying even harder than before. The boys were shocked. Their little Jimin had brain tumour and dealt with it all by himself while they treated him like .

 

“H-hyung you’re joking right? Right? Please tell me you’re joking.” Jungkook finally bursted.

 

“I’m sorry for not telling you.” Manager cried.

 

“WHY?! YOU SHOULD HAVE STILL TOLD US! H-HE-“ Jungkook fell to his knees. He felt like his was stabbed in the heart.

 

“I’m sorry! I promised him I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to make him cry anymore so I accepted. I’m sorry.”

 

“!” Yoongi yelled. He didn’t even know what to feel anymore.

 

“But two months ago he had surgery and the tumour was safely removed. He was supposed to be getting better. I don’t understand…”

 

The boys sat there patiently waiting for Jimin to wake up with heavy hearts. The guilt was slowly killing them.

 

---

 

“Park Jimin’s family or guardian?” The doctor spoke.

 

The boys turned their attention to the doctor and immediately ran to him.

 

“YES THAT’S US! IS HE OKAY?!”

 

“IS HE AWAKE?!”

 

“Please speak softly for it can affect Park Jimin as he is still asleep. He is fine for now, however there is some bad news." The doctor sighed.

 

"We have examined his brain and found another tumour that we have not seen before. It’s likely to have been there from the start but was hidden away so we could not identify it. However, this tumour must be removed immediately for he is in danger. The tumour will slowly start to take away Jimin’s control slowly making him paralyzed until his heart stops beating. In other words, there may be a chance of him dying."

 

“P-please save him.” Rapmon bowed repeatedly. 

 

“We will do the best we can.” The doctor patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Can we see him?” Jungkook spoke softly.

 

“Yes you may, but not for too long. He still needs to be treated.” The doctor smiled in sympathy.

 

With that the boys ran to Jimin’s room and held in the breath after seeing the condition Jimin was in. He looked so lifeless lying there. There were dark circles underneath his eyes from lack of sleep and his skin looked deathly pale. The boys cried even harder, looking at the state of their brother. Despite looking so fragile, that was the first time in so long they saw Jimin look so peaceful.

 

“Jimin-ah.” Hoseok whispered slowly walking towards the said boy.

 

He held onto his small hands, squeezing it tight. Jungkook walked to his other side and held his other hand repeating what Hoseok did. Jungkook slowly run his fingers through Jimin’s soft chestnut brown hair. Slowly Jimin’s fingers twitched, surprising the two boys.

 

“Jimin?” Namjoon asked full of hope.

 

Hearing his name, Jimin slowly fluttered his eyes open. His vision was blurry. He could see figures but could not see their faces clearly. The blinding hospital light burned his eyes making him close the shut before cautiously opening them again. His throat was parched, his body felt heavy and his head was pounding loudly. He sighed deeply. The hospital slowly felt like his home from coming here so often.

 

“I’m back here again.” He chuckled bitterly before shutting his eyes, welcoming darkness with open arms this time.

 

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THEY KNOW! OMG! 

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Poor Jiminie:( 

Please do comment:) 

Saranghae~