“Kim. Jong. Woon.” Leeteuk’s sharp voice punctuated each syllable. He peered through his sunglass lenses at Super Junior’s pitiful new captive. “You are aware of the wrongs you have done us?” He paused for dramatic effect. “Grave, indeed,” he murmured.

Yesung gazed through tearful, pleading eyes at the Super Junior members. “Please! I didn’t know—“

“Shut it, punk,” Kangin grunted threateningly. Yesung snapped his mouth shut. The fire crackled in the silence.

“Now,” Heechul stood up and began circling the prisoner. “Do you know what we do to traitors like you?” Hangeng solemnly banged a wooden spoon against an empty pot. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

Yesung gulped, “…You’re going to eat me?”

Kyuhyun raised a finger. “No,” he replied silkily. “That would be a kindness to you, wouldn’t it, Yesung?” Eunhyuk chuckled darkly.

Yesung shivered. “I… I—“

“Quiet.” Donghae demanded, narrowing his eyes. Sungmin cracked his knuckles.

“We’re going to do exactly what you planned to do to us,” Siwon explained.

Kibum smirked, “An eye for an eye.” Hangeng banged the spoon against the pot again. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“Tell us, Yesung. What inspired this betrayal?” Shindong asked in a low, dangerous voice. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“I—“

“Who cares?” Henry interrupted.

“Our Canadian brother is right,” Leeteuk declared. “It doesn’t matter what you say now. Your fate…is…sealed.” CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“CAN YOU STOP WITH THAT INFERNAL POT?!” Heechul exploded. “Do you know how hard it is to stay in character with you making that racket?!” Hangeng sulked and reluctantly put his beloved kitchen utensils down.

“Kids, I swear…” Leeteuk muttered, massaging his temple. “Where were we? Ah, right. Your fate is sealed, Yesung.”

“What will you do to me?” He asked in a tremulous voice.

Fourteen pairs of eyes gleamed. “All will be forgiven…” Sungmin began in a deceptively sweet tone, “if you eat three Jolokia peppers~”

Yesung gasped in horror. “No!” He protested. “Anything! Anything but that!” He glanced around in desperation. “What do you want? My solos? I’ll give them all to you!”

“That sounds reasonable,” Zhou Mi mused.

“Take the deal,” Ryeowook pleaded. “Don’t make him suffer anymore!”

“Hah. You think we’re so weak?” Kangin sneered.

Yesung’s eyes filled with tears. “Please,” he whispered. “I have pet turtles to feed. A family! They’re waiting for me to come home!” He looked around at the slowly softening expressions on the members’ faces. “Heechul! You have a cat! Don’t you know the bond that pet and master share? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Heechul grunted, “He has a point.”

“Should we let him off?”

“Well the price is right… Solos~”

“I’m getting tired of being a gangster anyway…”

 “Seriously! So unfashionable!” Zhou Mi snorted. He looked down at his jacket in disgust. “Black leather? With a brown belt?” He shook his head. “No wonder gangsters are the scum of society.”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with my jacket!” Eunhyuk protested. “Return it, then, if you feel that way about it!”

“Guys! Focus!” Kyuhyun called. “Remember? We were making him suffer?” He looked around, but it seemed that most of the members were now too hungry to care.

“Let’s figure out what we’re going to eat first, then we can think about that.” Leeteuk suggested diplomatically.

Kyuhyun let out a huff. “We’re going to eat the instant noodles in the other food crate, right? So can we please just get on with being evil?” There was a pause. “There’s… another food crate?” Shindong ventured.

“Yeah. DBSK gave us two. It said so in the note.”

Siwon frowned, “And you didn’t think to tell us this…”

“Before I had to change into these horrible clothes?” Zhou Mi finished with narrowed eyes.

“Well I thought being evil would be more fun…”
“Yes, because chasing Yesung around for hours is so entertaining,” Donghae remarked.

“We’ve wasted hours doing this. Hours.”

The evil maknae began to quaver slightly under the apocalyptic looks the others were giving him.

Yesung brightened, “Am I off the hook?”

“Yes, Yesung.” Eunhyuk affirmed. “Because it looks like Kyuhyun has just taken your place.”

“Guys?” Kyuhyun asked in a small voice. The others began to advance slowly on him.

“Guys?” he squeaked again.

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT STUPID POT, HANGENG?!”

Would you guys mind doing me a small favor?(I don't know if anyone reads these notes anyway... -__-) Do you know anywhere that could make a good poster for this story? I've seen that most of the shop rules say "No more than 3-4 people per poster" so... that wouldn't work very well. I'm actually in the process of making one, but it is taking me FOR-FRICKIN-EVER. Curse you, ancient Photoshop format. But if you guys happen to be able to reccommend any poster making service, I'll be a very happy person :)