The first thing Leeteuk noticed was the noise. Were those… birds? He squeezed his eyes shut, and promised himself five more minutes of sleep. Then he’d go yell at whoever brought the birds into the dorm. Yesung, most likely. He felt a large weight next to him roll over, and someone’s breath tickled his face. He scrunched his nose in revulsion. Another thing on the To Do list: Yell at Kangin about oral hygiene. The twittering of the birds grew louder and louder, and Leeteuk began to worry about how much damage they’ve probably caused already. Are the floors okay? The sofas? Manager was already mad at them about last week’s accident with Donghae’s experiment with the chairs and fish tank (“My brothers feel lonely!”)…

Well, time to get up! His eyes snapped open, and he was greeted with the tan wall of the tent. Wha--? Oh, yeah. Camping. Suddenly, he felt much more refreshed. He stretched lazily and crawled out of the tent, taking care not to accidentally awaken the slumbering grizzly.

As he clambered out into the campsite, he was surprised to see that he wasn’t the only early bird this morning.

“Sungmin? Why are you up this early?” The leader rotated his neck to get the kinks out.

The pink-lover gave a small wave. “Good morning! Actually, I’m out here because I want to be as far away from Zhou Mi as is humanly possible when he wakes up,” he admitted seriously.

Leeteuk rubbed his eyes. “Kyuhyun?” he guessed. “Oh, Hangeng! You’re up early too!”

The Chinese man gave a sleepy smile. “Heechul kept kicking me. Besides, we need to figure out what to do for breakfast.”

“Ah, I see… Is anyone else up yet?”

“Hmm…” Sungmin thought for a moment, “I think Siwon is.”

The leader frowned as he looked around the campsite. “Where is he?”

“I think he’s holding Mass with the squirrels,” Hangeng said solemnly. “Oh, and those two zombies are up as well.” He pointed to the space behind the leader.

“What zom—AAHH!”

Behind Leeteuk were two people who had clearly just risen from the grave. They had ruffled hair, creased clothes, pale faces with dark rings around their eyes, and their mouths were sagging open. “Hi…” they croaked.

The leader’s eyes widened in fear and disbelief. “Eunhyuk?! Donghae?! What happened to you?”

It took a minute for the words to float through Eunhyuk’s ears up to his brain for processing. “Eh… You know how it’s a stupid idea to talk about death and ghosts when you’re in the dark at a sleepover?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, it’s worse when you’re camping,” Donghae finished. They swayed sleepily on the spot.

Hangeng sighed. “Come here, you two. Let’s see if I can find come coffee for you.”

“Okay…” They shuffled lifelessly after him.

“Good morning!” A soft voice greeted them.

“Ah! Kibum! You’re up too?” The quiet member simply shrugged in response.

“You look a bit tired. Did you stay up late?” Sungmin wondered.

Kibum nodded. “Stargazing,” he explained.

“Stargazing? In your tent?”

“Kangin installed our tent upside-down. There’s a giant hole in the top,” Kibum clarified. “I woke up because leaves kept falling on my face.”

The other two nodded sympathetically. “Do you have any idea what we should do about breakfast?” Leeteuk asked the younger members.

“Well…” Kibum hesitated. “When we were walking in the forest before, I noticed some chestnut trees. Would those work?”

“Ah! That’s perfect! Nice work.”

“I’ll go gather some!” Sungmin offered immediately. “I mean, who knows when ZhouZilla will wake up?” He skipped off happily.

Leeteuk consulted his watch. “Half-past seven, he noted. “Time to get the others up?”

“Okay,” Kibum shrugged.

“I’ll help too!” Hangeng reappeared. “The two zombies are recovering by the fire,” he added.

“Alright, let’s start with the easier ones,” Leeteuk suggested. “Yesung and Ryeowook~” He grabbed a water bottle and quietly approached their tent.

“Um… what’s the water for?”

The leader merely winked and response and pressed a finger to his lips. “Shhh…” He stealthily crept inside the tent and hovered over his two sleeping members. Due to lack of space, only Hangeng’s and Kibum’s heads were sticking through the flap of the tent, but they were watching the oldest with curious eyes.

“Return of the Water Screen,” Leeteuk whispered dramatically, “In three… two…” He filled his cheeks with the water.

PBBBBTTTT!!

Mist went flying out Leeteuk’s mouth and landed all over the two member’s faces.

“AAHHH!”

“Get it off! Get it off!” Yesung flailed his arms in a panic. “I’m drowning~!”

The leader flashed them a bright smile. “Morning, you two! Greet the day!”

“Urrrgh…” The first victims of the water screen let out a groan and flopped back into their sleeping bags. But because Leeteuk began to threaten them with duct tape, they slowly got up.

“We’ll be out in a second,” Ryeowook yawned.

Deciding that their work was finished, the other three left the tent.

“I guess I’ll go get Heechul,” Hangeng proposed. Leeteuk’s and Kibum’s faces turned somber, and they stood at attention to salute him.

“We’ll never forget your bravery,” Leeteuk gravely stated. “You were one of our best and brightest.”

Hangeng bowed in acknowledgement and gave each a final salute as well. “I’m off,” he said simply. Without another word, he walked stoically back to his tent.

“Heechul?” He poked his head through the tent. “Get up~” He crawled over to where his tent buddy lay buried in his sleeping bag. “Heechul~ Chullie~ Heenim~ Heesica~ Paaaaaboooooo~” At that last nickname, Heechul’s face twitched.

“Get up,” Hangeng wheedled, poking at the inanimate lump.

“NO.” The lump growled. “GO AWAY.”

“Shindong will eat all of your breakfast if you don’t get up now,” the Chinese man tried again.

“Don’t care,” the other mumbled.

“HEECHUL! Get up! It’s seven thirty!” Hangeng said in a more authoritative tone.

The prickly Korean’s face gave another, more defined twitch of annoyance. “Seven thirty?” he asked in a dangerous voice. “SEVEN THIRTY?” His eyes snapped open and glared at the one he would shortly be murdering.

“Yep~ Rise and shine~” the naïve one added brightly.

“Rise and shine? RISE AND SHINE? IT’S SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING, YOU IDIOT! YOU RISE, YOU SHINE!” He squeezed his eyes shut again in defiance, mumbling incomprehensibly.

Now it was Hangeng’s turn to frown. “Heechul,” he began in a poisonously sweet tone, “don’t make me do this.”

“Do your worst. Che! Seven thirty in the morning.”

“Alright, but remember that you asked for this~” With a triumphant smile, Hangeng pulled out his trump card.

CLANG. CLANG. CL—

“Oof!” Hangeng was tackled mid-clang. Heechul stood over him with a wild, maniac look in his eyes.

“First thing I’m doing after I brush my hair,” he vowed, “Is melting down that thing into a club to beat you to death.”

Meanwhile, Leeteuk was about to embark on an equally dangerous mission. “Kangin~” he gently shook his tent-buddy. “Up and at ‘em!”

“Hrrrmgg.”

“Kangin~ You can’t sleep all day, you know. Come on, get up.”

“HRRRGMMPH”

Leeteuk, feeling a surge of bravery, picked up a stick and began poking repeatedly at the atomic bomb. “UP!” he commanded. “UP!”

“AAARRGH!!” Kangin sat up and took a blind swing at his assailant. Fortunately, years of practicing this dangerous task had given Leeteuk uncanny self-preservation instincts. He nimbly dodged.

“Okay, last chance!” The oldest threatened. After getting no reaction from the other party, he sighed. “Three.” He crawled out of the tent. “Two.” His voice was slightly muffled.

Kangin frowned. What is he…?

“One.” With an audible FWOOSH, the leader detached the roof, exposing Korea’s raccoon to the rays of the rising sun. “Good morning~” he sang.

“GAAAH! MY EYES!” Kangin was definitely awake now. “You—“ With fumbling movements, he started toward his new victim with fire burning in his eyes. “YOU!”

“Oh gosh.” Leeteuk began backing away hastily from the specter of death that was quickly approaching. “Oh gosh. Ohgoshohgoshohgosh I’M SO SORRYYYYYY!!!” He did a 180 and sprinted for his life, with the enraged beast just inches behind him.

“AAAAAAAHHH!” Donghae and Eunhyuk glanced up from their coffee mugs.

“Oh good,” the fish commented breezily. “Kangin’s awake.”

“KYAAAAAA!”

“…And that would be Zhou Mi,” Eunhyuk surmised.

“KYUHYUN! I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU AND BREAK ALL YOUR LAPTOPS AND KILL YOU AGAIN!”

“Henry did it too!”

“Hey! Don’t be a tattle-ta—“

“I WILL KILL THE BOTH OF YOU! SO HELP ME GOD, I’LL HANG YOU WITH MY NECKTIES AND SCRATCH OUT YOUR EYES WITH MY CUFFLINKS! AND WHEN YOU’RE DEAD I’LL BURY YOU IN A PLAID SUIT WITH A POLKA DOT TIE!”

“Good morning,” Shindong appeared, patting his face dry. “Did you guys get the water-screen treatment too?” The monkey and fish shook their heads. Eunhyuk opened his mouth to say something, but was drowned out.

“—AND STUFF YOUR HEADS WITH EUNHYUK’S SOCKS! THEN I’LL FLING YOU INTO THE OCEAN FOR DONGHAE AND HIS SIBLINGS TO FIND!”

“Hey guys! I got breakfast!” Sungmin reappeared, carrying buckets full of chestnuts.

“Oh good. I’ll start cooking them,” Ryeowook volunteered, crawling out of his tent.

Sungmin dutifully handed the food over to the cook. “So…” he said. “How’s Zhou Mi taking it?”

“—YOU WORTHLESS, MOUTH-BREATHING CANKER-BLOSSOMS!”

Sungmin winced. “That bad?”

“Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum,” Eunhyuk muttered.

“Aaah!” Ryeowook dropped one of the chestnuts. “Bug!”

Yesung poked his head out of the tent. “Bug?” His eyes fixed on the six-legged creature. “Aww… Come to Daddy,” he purred.

He gently lifted the insect to eye level and gave it a loving stare. “Hello, beautiful. My name is Yesung. Let’s be friends.” The bug blinked.

“—BOOTLESS, BEEF-WITTED, FOUL CARBUNCLES!”

Thanks for all the get-well wishes, you guys <3 Good news: I'm finally better ^^

Bad news: FINALS STILL EXIST T^T whyyyyyy....