A few miles downstream, Group 1 sat huddled on the shoreline with fishing poles in hand. All of them had the same, dull expressions on their faces as they stared with half-lidded eyes at the water.

“It’s been hours…” Donghae whined. “I’m bored~”

Leeteuk let out a sigh. “A little bit longer, and the fish will start biting,” he repeated robotically.

“You said that two hours ago,” Zhou Mi pointed out.

Heechul shot to his feet. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” He looked around, his eyes wild. “YAH! It’s all your fault!” he shrieked, pointing at the pot. He lunged towards the innocent object and picked it up. In one smooth motion, he hurled it out into the lake.

“NO—!” The others yelled.

Sploosh. In a large cloud of bubbles, the pot sank out of sight for the second time.

“You..!” Siwon choked on his words. “I forgave you once, but this is double homicide!”

Heechul glared at the younger member. “That thing is cursed! I’m doing the public a great service here!”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Leeteuk hurriedly interrupted, fearing the outbreak of World War III. “We’re wasting daylight, and we haven’t caught anything yet. We need to regroup and make a new plan.” A dismal silence descended on the group.

Sungmin raised his hand. “I have an idea.” Everyone turned to look at him expectantly. “What if, instead of standing out on the shore, we went in the get the fish ourselves?” he suggested.

“You mean we chase them?” Kyuhyun clarified.

Kibum frowned. “Wouldn’t they be too fast for us?” he pointed out. “The fish would have the advantage in the water…”

“Well, they seem to have the advantage when we’re on land, too” Kyuhyun remarked.

Sungmin shrugged. “I don’t know. I only suggested it so you guys could figure the rest out by yourselves.”

Leeteuk, who had apparently revived his MC spirit, excitedly turned to face the imaginary cameras. “Super Junior’s Fishing Challenge…” he announced loudly. “ACCEPTED!”

Zhou Mi leaned over to Siwon. “I have an ominous feeling…” he mumbled. The Korean nodded emphatically.

“So who will go first?” Kibum asked the group.

“Donghae?” Leeteuk suggested. “Maybe he’ll have some positive effect on the fish…?”

“No, no,” Kyuhyun disagreed. “Let’s send Siwon first.”

“Good idea,” Zhou Mi approved.

“Eh? Why is it always me?” Siwon asked.

“Because we really want to see your well-kept pride crash down,” Heechul muttered.

“Off you go~” Donghae cheered, and pushed him into the water.

“AHHH!!”

“I think this is the first time we’ve ever heard Siwonnie scream,” Leeteuk said pensively.

“What’s the matter?” Sungmin asked, concerned.

“I-I-I…”

“I?” Leeteuk asked.

“IT’S COLD!”

“Oh…”

“Donghae, I’m proud of you,” Kyuhyun beamed. “I have taught you well in the ways of being evil.”

“Yes, it’s very heartwarming,” Heechul agreed. With one well-placed kick, he sent the evil maknae tumbling into the water as well.

“GAAAH! C-COLD!”

Heechul cupped his hands around his mouth. “Yah! Maknae! Don’t forget who the original evil one was, okay?”

The ever-mysterious Kibum smirked. “You mean me?”

SPLOOSH.

“YAH! KIM KIBUM! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!” Heechul roared, splashing around in the ice water.

“I knew there was a reason they called it a killer smile…” Zhou Mi commented. Kibum turned towards the Chinese man, who shrunk in fear. “Oh, look!” Zhou Mi hastily exclaimed, pointing out towards the lake to divert attention from himself.

“Huh? What is that?” Sungmin squinted.

Donghae sidled up to the older member. “I think Mi was just saying that to save himself,” he explained.

“No, really!” Sungmin insisted. “There’s something out there! What is that?”

“It’s floating on the surface, so it’s got to be some sort of driftwood,” Leeteuk surmised.

“No, it looks kind of reflective,” Siwon argued, crawling out of the water. He turned to pull

A wide smile appeared on Donghae’s face. “No way…”

Heechul, who had just emerged from the water as well, turned to stare at the object. “I-Impossible. Metal doesn’t float.”

The significance of this moment wasn’t lost on the leader. “Atten~TION!” Leeteuk barked. The members formed a straight line facing the lake.

“Salute!” The leader commanded. The members snapped their arms up and froze with their fingertips brushing their foreheads in a solemn salute. Water dripped off of Kyuhyun’s elbow.

“What are you doing?” Heechul asked, at a total loss for other words.

Donghae turned to look at Leeteuk. “Permission to answer, Sir!”

“Granted!”

The fish turned to look at the older member. “We are welcoming home our lost member,” he said gravely. “He has suffered a lot, and we will honor that.”

“Who—THE POT?! How has that thing suffered? I’M THE ONE WHO’S SUFFERING!”

“Actually, I’m the suffering one,” Zhou Mi moaned. His arm was trembling slightly. “Can we stop saluting now? My arm’s falling asleep…”

Kyuhyun gave a large snort. “How is it possible to be this weak? You weight-lift with shopping bags every day!”

Sungmin turned back towards the lake and startled. “Ah! The pot’s floating away!”

Leeteuk sprang into action. “Go get it, Siwon!”

“Why me~?”

“That’s an order!”

Siwon sighed, saluted, and gracefully dived back into the icy depths. Leeteuk nodded approvingly. “Okay, now all we have to do is catch the fish.”

“Yeah, but you still haven’t really come up with a plan,” Kibum pointed out. “Even if we did start chasing the fish around in the water, we wouldn’t be able to hold our breath long enough to get very far…”

Kyuhyun frowned. “So basically our problem is needing to breathe underwater?”

“I refuse to kiss any of you!” Sungmin quickly announced.

Donghae suddenly seemed to remember something. “I’m not sure if this helps, but I brought a bunch of straws with me to blow bubbles with. Could we use them?”

Leeteuk beamed. “That’s perfect!”

“Ah… So we could use them like snorkels?” Zhou Mi asked, catching on.

“That idea’s not bad,” Heechul commented. “Who goes first?”

SPLOOSH. “KIM KIBUM! YOU’RE WORSE THAN THAT STUPID POT!”

Kibum waved cheerfully from the shore at Heechul treading water. “How’s the water?”

“YOU—!”

“I heard that suddenly going into cold water makes you feel alive,” Donghae commented. “Is that true?”

Heechul glared at the younger member. “Just come over here and let me show you how alive I feel right now,” he threatened.

Sungmin carefully removed his socks and shoes. “I don’t think it’s fair for just Heechul to be in there. I’ll go too,” he offered generously. Donghae, inspired by his kindheartedness, joined him.

Kyuhyun backed away. “No way I’m getting back in tha—“

SPLOOSH. “KIBUM!”

Kibum grinned and cannonballed into the water himself. Siwon, who had swum out pretty far to retrieve the pot, lazily backstroked back to the others and tossed the pot back to the two remaining members on shore.

“Leeteuk, Zhou Mi!” Siwon called. “Why don’t you join us?”

 “Never really learned how to swim,” the Chinese man admitted.

“Ehhh??”

Zhou Mi shrugged. “And until they make an underwater mall, I probably won’t learn either,” he finished. The others nodded in understanding.

“That’s okay, we need someone on shore to give the fish to,” Sungmin said.

“What about you, Leeteuk?” Donghae asked.

The leader opened his mouth to reply, but was beaten by Kyuhyun. “Aw, don’t ask him to come here,” the maknae said. “Don’t you know that it’s bad for senior citizens to experience too many shocks?”

“YOU LITTLE—!” The old man jumped up and began hurling clumps of weeds at Kyuhyun’s head. The evil one laughed and ducked his head under the surface.

“I wonder if these will work…” Siwon said, giving the straws an appraising look.

“Let’s try it all together!” Donghae cheered.

“On three?” Sungmin suggested. The others nodded in assent. “One… Two… Three!”

The six members submerged. Leeteuk and Zhou Mi leaned forward to get a better view of the amateur scuba divers. A few seconds passed.

“I think it worked!” Leeteuk exclaimed happily. He spoke too soon. About a second later, all six jerked their heads up, spluttering and gasping for air.

Heechul was the first to regain his voice. “YAH!” he bellowed. “WHO GAVE ME THIS?! I ALMOST DIED!”

Kibum let out a weak cough. “I think these are a failure.”

“Are you kidding? I saw my life flash before my eyes! This is way more than just a failure,” Kyuhyun croaked.

“It’s a hazard to humankind!” Donghae proclaimed.

Siwon nodded solemnly. “I heard the voice of God calling me…”

The six of them began to rant about their own near-death experience. Zhou Mi tentatively raised his hand. “Ahem.” Twelve eyes turned to him. “Can I suggest something?”

“If you want to tell us to try again, save your breath,” Heechul said firmly.

“Oh.” Zhou Mi deflated a bit. “I was just going to say, if you tried again, maybe you could try leaving the top of the straw sticking up in the air instead of submerging completely…”

There was a long pause as Leeteuk tried to stifle his laughter.

Heechul rounded on the others. “YOU IDIOTS! YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!”

“How is this our fault?!” Sungmin protested.

“You’re the idiot for almost killing yourself,” Siwon pointed out.

Kyuhyun slyly swam over to Donghae. “Besides, Heechul,” he said loudly, “If we were trying to kill you, it’d look more like this.” In one move, he dunked Donghae underwater and held him there for a moment. The others laughed as Donghae struggled with the evil maknae.

“Okay, Kyuhyun, let him up,” Kibum said.

Kyuhyun removed his hand, but Donghae continued to struggle underwater.

“YAH! Fish idiot! You’re free!” Heechul yelled. There was no response.

“Donghae? DONGHAE!” Leeteuk took a running leap into the water and started out towards his younger member.

“Get them out of the water!” Zhou Mi yelled.

“Which one?” Siwon yelled back.

“Does it matter? GET EVERYONE OUT!” Heechul roared.

Kyuhyun tried to pull the still-thrashing Donghae out, but couldn’t. “Someone come help me!” Sungmin reached the pair first. The water was starting to froth and turn white with Donghae’s kicking. Together, he and Kyuhyun dragged the struggling member into shallow water. The rest of the members pushed him out onto the shore.

As soon as his head was clear of water, Donghae began to cough.

Sungmin leaned in. “I think he’s saying something!”

Siwon knelt next to him. “What is it, Donghae?”

The fish looked up at the other’s face. “Get…”

“Yes? Yes?”

“Get… your knee… off… my chest…”

“Ah. Sorry.” Siwon shifted his position. “Better?”

“Yea—AAAHH!” Donghae began to scream and thrash again.

“DONGHAE!”

“Get it out! Get it out!”

“What?”

“It’s—GAAH!”

“You have to tell us what it is before we can help you, idiot!” Heechul said in frustration.

“What is it, Donghae?” Leeteuk said, eyes full of concern.

“THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!”

Kibum frowned. “I’d be more concerned if there wasn’t anything in your pants…”

“GET IT OUT!” Donghae screamed. “GET IT OUT NOW!”

The seven other members hesitated. “Eh… Donghae…” Leeteuk began slowly.

“THERE’S A FISH IN MY PANTS!”

Kyuhyun recoiled. “Is that what you call it?”

Zhou Mi nudged the younger singer. “No, I think he means a real fish.”

Since no one made a move to help him, Donghae leapt to feet and began doing some strange motion that looked a lot like Irish river dancing.

“Donghae…?”

“Eeeeaaauuuchh!” With a final kick, the poor member managed to send a giant lump shooting out the bottom of his pants.

The seven others ran to inspect it. Flopping around in the dirt was the largest fish they had seen all day.

“Nice work, Fishy!” Heechul exclaimed approvingly.

Donghae merely collapsed in the fetal position and began rocking back and forth. “A fish. A real fish.” He kept repeating.

Zhou Mi scooped up the fish in question and deposited it in the half-forgotten pot. “This thing might as well serve some purpose,” he explained.

“I think this fish puts us in the lead for the food competition,” Kibum stated.

Siwon shrugged. “You never know. Group 2 could have found a berry bush or something.”

Leeteuk looked around at s. “Then… should we do that again?”

Finally past my writer’s block! **does Yesung’s octopus dance**