“How is the food? Okay?” Hangeng fluttered around the members, nervously checking up on the reactions to his meal.

“Great!” Ryeowook flashed him a thumbs up.

“It’s salty,” Henry complained, poking at the noodles.

“Shut up. It’s perfect,” Hangeng snapped.

“Kyuhyun? How about your food?” Kibum smirked. He turned to look at the evil one, who had tears running down his face. The maknae could only manage a half-hearted wheeze in response.

“He says it’s spicy,” Sungmin translated. The other man nodded furiously.

“With three Jolokias in those noodles, did he think it was going to be bland?” Shindong asked.

“I think I like this sight,” Eunhyuk commented. “It’s nice to see Kyuhyun suffering for a change.”

At these words, Heechul and Kibum suddenly sat straight up. “Oh, that reminds me…” Heechul cast an innocent glance at the others. “Anyone thirsty? We brought back the water bottles.” Several demanding hands shot in the air.

“Water sounds like a good idea,” Henry mentioned, “since the noodles are too salty.”

“I said they’re fine!”

“Here you go,” Kibum handed out each water bottle to its respective owner. “Remember, this is water from a brook, so it might taste strange…” he cautioned.

Leeteuk bravely opened up his first and took a gulp. “Seems fine.”

Hangeng went to get a plate to get his dinner. Now that everyone had been served, he could eat, he decided. He reached the serving fork into the empty pot. Wait… empty?

“Yah! Why is the food gone?” He asked.

Heechul mumbled through a mouthful of noodles, “I wanted seconds.”

“I haven’t even eaten any yet! I was waiting for everyone to serve themselves first!” The Chinese man complained. He cast his roommate a burning glance. “You’re low!” He declared.

Siwon waved his hand. “Here, Hangeng. I think I took more than I can eat. Have this.” He offered the plate to its grateful recipient. Siwon smirked and leaned over to whisper in Heechul’s ear, “See? Sihan wins. Every. Time.”

Heechul turned to make a snappy comeback when Kyuhyun let out a gargled, choking noise and tumbled backward off the log he had been sitting on.

“Is it possible to overdose on spice?” Zhou Mi wondered.

 “If it is, I think Kyuhyun just did,” Leeteuk reported grimly.

“Three Jolokias…” Donghae murmured in awe.

“Oh, I think I put a few Habaneros in too,” Hangeng mentioned dismissively.

Heecul patted him on the back. “I have taught you well,” he announced proudly.

All the while, Kibum had not taken his thoughtful eyes off the blond rapper seated across the fireplace from him. Finally, it looked like his watching was going to pay off. Eunhyuk raised his water bottle to his lips and took a huge gulp.

The effect was immediate. The anchovy’s face contorted and his eyes bulged out.

PFFFFTT!! Out went the water, right onto Kangin’s face.

“AAAIISH!” Kangin hastily began wiping the liquid off. “YOU! HAVEN’T YOU EVER LEARNED TO SWALLOW?! DISGUSTING!”

“Try having cola spat in your face,” Sungmin reminisced.

However, Eunhyuk was too preoccupied with his own affairs to take much notice. “What’s wrong with that river?” He gagged. “Is it made of acid or something?”

Leeteuk frowned. “The water’s fine, Eunhyuk.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my water either,” Shindong added.

“Or mine.”

“Me too.”

“Of course Eunhyuk is the black sheep,” Heechul taunted.

“Well I guess it is a bit bitter from the natural minerals,” Kibum allowed. “But you can’t handle that, Eunhyuk?” His very pointed question was met with a proud flip of the rapper’s hair.

“Of course! I’m a man! I can take a little bitterness!” He declared. Despite his courageous words, he gave his water bottle a very frightened look. But because all the members were watching him expectantly, he forced his hands to pick up the dreaded bottle and force another gulp of the vile water down his throat.

“MMMGGFFFPHH” He struggle to swallow it, to the vast amusement of several members.

Heechul leaned over to Kibum. “It was a smart idea to bring lemon juice,” he whispered.

“Lemon juice concentrate,” Kibum corrected. “It’s the multi-purpose pranking tool,” he explained.

Heechul beamed, “You have been well-trained, my young apprentice.”

Henry put down his chopsticks with a sigh, “I’m still hungry…”

“We have to save the rest of the noodles for tomorrow,” Donghae reminded him sadly.

Yesung cleared his throat, “There’s a lot of peppers left over—“

“Yah! Do you want to kill him?” Kangin pointed out.

“There’s plenty of bark in the forest for you to eat instead,” Leeteuk offered. Henry cast him an incredulous look. “Believe me, it’s the better choice,” the Korean emphasized.

“Now that I think of it…” Ryeowook began hesitantly, “The peppers weren’t that bad. I think they’d be okay to try again, right?”

“Actually, I’m a bit curious too,” Siwon admitted.

“Same.” Shindong gave the peppers a curious glance.

Kyuhyun reappeared from behind the log. “Go ahead,” he coughed.

“Wait. If Kyuhyun is recommending it to us…” Zhou Mi was suddenly suspicious.

“I think he’s exaggerating,” Yesung stated.

“Well, I’m still hungry,” Hangeng declared, grabbing a pepper. “Anyone else?”

Shindong, Siwon, Ryeowook, Yesung, and Kibum all bravely reached forward.

“On the count of three. Ooooooooone… Twooooooo…..”

“Just eat it!” Heechul barked impatiently. The six guinea pigs obediently took a bite of the pepper. Within seconds, Yesung’s eyes went wide.

“It’s here!” Donghae whispered dramatically.

“I think you’re right, Fishy! And with that, gentlemen, it looks like our first contestant is down for the count!” Eunhyuk reported. He and Donghae began relaying the spectacle like commentators would report a sports event. “And out in the lead, the all-time favorite, Ma Siwon, is hardly showing a flinch of pain. Strong performance, there, wouldn’t you say?”

“AAAARRRGHH!!”

“And there we have it!” Donghae added excitedly. “Kim ‘Delayed-Reaction’ Ryeowook has now let out his roar of agony! Such brilliant technique is used here!”

“Let’s not forget our teary-eyed Kibum, now. No yell of pain, but it looks like he’s breaking a sweat!”

“Look at Shindong! Ladies and gentlemen, look at those tears!”

“But wait! Our Siwonnie is beginning to weep as well!” Eunhyuk reported excitedly. “What an upset! The number one player appears to be breaking down as we speak!”

“Aren’t you missing someone?” Kangin reminded them.

Sungmin perked up. “Ah! That’s right! Where’s Hangeng?”

An animalistic moan of sheer anguish issued from behind Kyuhyun’s log.

“Oh.”

“It appears Hangeng has dropped out!” Leeteuk announced, quickly assuming the role of MC.

“Yah, you look too desperate for MC jobs,” Kangin criticized.

“Are you guys okay?” Sungmin regarded the other five miserable pepper-eating members. All of them were desperately gulping down their water and fanning their throats.

“Now I’m kind of curious…” Heechul reached for a pepper.

“DUN EAT IT.” Hangeng crawled back into view, a crazed look in his eyes. The spice overload seemed to have short-circuited his brain, and his Korean was more broken than ever. “I’m serious! Not even for fun! DUNNNN EEEEAAATT ITTTTT—“ He let out a strangled noise and dropped back out of sight. The members looked at him in alarm.

But Heechul, being Heechul, chose not to heed this dire warning and took a large bite anyway. He chewed thoughtfully for a second, and then the pain arrived.

“Ah—“ He immediately began hopping from foot to foot with wide eyes. “Ahhh~” He complained.

“I think his eyes are three times the size of Henry’s,” Kibum remarked thoughtfully.

“Everyone’s eyes are three times the size of Henry’s,” Kyuhyun pointed out.

“Hey!”

“Aaaahhhh!!!” Heechul snatched the closest water bottle and struggled to open it. Incidentally, this bottle happened to be Eunhyuk’s.

Kibum raised a hand in warning. “Hee—“

Too late. The second-oldest member had already begun chugging the contents of the bottle.

PFFFFFFFTTTT!! Once again, the “water” was forcibly ejected all over the camp as Heechul retched violently.

“GAAAAH! LEMON JUICE!” Heechul began to spit rapidly, franticly trying to rid all traces of the flavor from his mouth.

“I knew it wasn’t water!” Eunhyuk crowed triumphantly.

“Excuse me, but I think Ryeowook’s gone insane,” Kangin interrupted. “He keeps eating the peppers…”

This comment was lost on the members, since Donghae had just figured out how to turn the cursed water bottle into a functioning water gun.

“Water fight~” Some were chanting. Screams and yells filled the night as water began splashing everywhere.

“KYAAA!! MY CLOTHES!”

“Sorry, Zhou Mi…”

“YOU. WILL. PAY.”

“GAAAAAHHH!”

“Ha ha ha ha! This is kind of fun!” Sungmin cheered.

Leeteuk could only smile weakly as the camp became crazier and more chaotic. “This is a fun trip. This is a fun trip. This is relaxing. This is…” He rocked back in forth in clear indication of an impending nervous breakdown. Ryeowook plopped down beside the bedraggled leader. He held up a Jolokia pepper in offering. Leeteuk hastily snatched it up.

“Goodbye, world,” he declared morosely. An abandoned water bottle went whizzing past his head.

Sadly, with this, it means that I'll now be updating only sporadically until at least Christmas because of Finals (My Asian mom demands total isolation for "perfect study conditions"). :( Hope you'll still be sticking around until the holidays, though! Love you <333