Story Review by BAPBlackjackVIP from Marshmallow Review Shoppe

Seoul Song

Story Title: (5/5)

Even though the story title is a song title, I like it! idk why, but I like stories that have song titles as their titles.

Description/Summary/Foreword: (4/5)

I like what you did in the description. You put summaries of some chapters and that was different, but you revealed things that were going to happen. I also liked what you put in the foreword.

Story Plot/Originality: (10/10)

I liked the story plot. The story was original in its own way.

Flow: (10/10)

The fic had a good flow.

Grammar/Spelling: (8/10)

Description

‘Both Tiffany and Siwon were a former student of SM University.’ Remove ‘a’ and add an ‘s’ at the end of ‘student’.

‘One day, Tiffany was absent & Siwon got worried but know where he could find her; in the beach.’ ‘know’ should be ‘knew’ because its past tense, there should be a comma before ‘but’ and change ‘in’ to ‘at’.

‘He comforted her but when he got home, Yoona, his sister, convince him to confess to Tiffany.’ Again, there should be a comma before ‘but’ and ‘convince’ should be ‘convince’.

‘Sunny informs her parents but her parents were against it’ Put a comma before ‘but’ and you forgot to put a period at the end of the sentence.

‘Ryeowook become excited & taste the food she made.’ ‘become’ should be ‘became’ and ‘taste’ to ‘tasted’.

‘Will Taeyeon removes her doubt and accept to herself she has feelings for him?’ Remove the ‘s’ in ‘removes’ and change ‘accept’ to ‘admit’.

‘Is Lee Teuk also feels the same for her?’ Change ‘Is’ to ‘Does’ and remove ‘also’ and take the ‘s’ out of ‘feels’.

Foreword

‘Seoul is one of the beautiful cities you can found in Korea.’ I think you should add ‘most’ before ‘beautiful and ‘found’ should be ‘find’. Since there isn’t a Korea anymore and hasn’t been in quite a long time, I think you should put ‘South Korea’ instead of just ‘Korea’.

 

There were still some sentences where you didn’t put a comma before ‘but’. There weren’t that many mistakes because you had other reviewers, so…………..yeah hehe

Enjoyment: (10/10)

I really enjoyed reading this! :D

Total: (47/50)

Would I recommend it?: Sure!~

 

The chapters were so cute and nice. Hope you make more great fics in the future!~

 

BAPBlackjackVIP

 

(A/N:  I totally agree with the comments of the reviewer. For me maybe English is not my 1st language or only my 2nd language so I sometimes find it hard to express what I wanted to express on the story. I also still didn't expect that I'll receive this score because I was expecting a lower score than the score given to me and I was really happy because I got a 47 out of 50 points :) And I’m really thankful for the reviewer because the reviewer would recommend my story :) That really makes me happy! :)

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Comments

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SiFanyYulsungLoVe
#1
Chapter 9: Seokyu haha good story:)The song boyfriend matches the story perfectly omg <3
mcaryeong
#2
Chapter 4: I like this chap^ ^
But I thought this chap will hv kiss on lips part so it will be more romantic kkkk
yulyoonhyoseo #3
Chapter 9: these Super Generation one-shots are great and Super Generation Couples are Simply Amazing !!
arjylee13
#4
Chapter 7: the song didn't exactly match with the story
but still i liked it,, taeteuk forever ,, :)
arjylee13
#5
Chapter 4: new reader here, and since my ultimate bias
is sooyoung,, i first read this chapter,, :))
nice one..
sooswifty
#6
Chapter 4: hahahaha.. the shikshin can cook.. :ppp
sooswifty
#7
Chapter 1: hahahaha.. so sweet.. :))
Exoshidae26 #8
Chapter 8: heesica so~cute!! ♥
Stand4SeoKyu #9
Chapter 9: Finally they become real couple, Kekee..
Soo sweeeetttt.. ;)
Aznjen
#10
Chapter 9: Really cute! I hope you might make a sequel please! :-)