Story by: hazel_marie13

Reviewed by -adorateur-

Title (2/5): The title didn’t exactly make me curious about your story but I don’t think there are any other stories with this title on AFF so good job for originality. Other than the song title, there aren’t any real links between the title and the story.

Description & Foreword (6/10): The description teasers are quite good, but I feel that you still revealed a little too much. Foreword was ok.

Graphics (4/5): The graphics is good in general but there is still a bit too much going on at the same time.

Plot (24/30): You gave away quite a lot of the plot in the description, but your ideas are still fairly creative but some of them feel over used already. However the writing itself felt just a little bit rushed, so be mindful of that. I like how you linked some of the stories with each other, it was done well. Good job!

Characterisation (12/20): There weren’t much character development in the stories. Since all these stories are one chapter in length, it is kind of understandable. There were still some changes though which is good, for example: Donghae becoming hard working. The characters are pretty bland, and we don’t know that much about them.

Grammar & Spelling (16/20): Grammar can still do with some improvement but spelling is good in general.

Extras (3/5): Don’t put authors note in the middle of the story, it is distracting and breaks the flow. There’s no need to show pictures of everything you can just describe it and let the readers imagine for themselves; not to mention that it also makes the flow of your story patchy. Avoid putting “__” in front certain places, you can just say: “he invited her to the local/Italian/nearby/well-known restaurant” or just make up a name, it is totally fine.

Enjoyment(3/5): The stories were cute but they didn’t really capture my attention.

Final Score:

70/100= 70% Pretty good!

Hope this short review helped you, I didn't really have much to say here and I am sorry if I was harsh.

(A/N: Didn't expect that I'll receive this score because I was expecting a lower score than the score given to me and I was really happy because my score for this story is higher than the score on my 1st story so I think I improved :) And I again really agreed for the words she had said and I don't find her harsh. And I'm again thankful for her for choosing to review again my another story :)